My kid is determined to fail! RANT

[DoubleM]

I am currently HSing my 15 year old through a virtual charter school in Cali.  He is doing so bad that he is going to have to redo his first semester of 10th grade and it is looking like the second half is going that way and we are only 2 weeks into it.  I don't know what else to do with him.  He swears to me every day that he is done with all of his work and I just checked and he has hardly done anything for 2 weeks.  I know that I have failed in the subject of checking up on him and I am willing to own that but when do I start teaching to him check himself and be a little responsible.  I can understand missing an assignment here and there but he has practally sat on his ass for two weeks doing nothing.  That is beyond rediculous.  I am HSing  3 kids and am going to school full time and he is my oldest and I just wish I could let go even a little.  I am realizing that I have to be going through every assignment of every class every day for him and that just pisses me off!!!

Sorry for the rant but I am just so mad right now!

[Bleacheddecay]

I don't blame you. I'd be furious too. Did he pick out this online school?

[DoubleM]

No, I picked the school and it is a very good program.  If he actually wants something out of it.  He teachers are helpful and the curriculum is high quality.  I am giving serious thought to military school but the thing that makes it so much harder is that he is such a great kid.  He is nice and respectful and he never ever gives us any discipline problems.  School has always been the only problem with him.

[Bleacheddecay]

*hug*

 

You have every right to be angry.

 

At his age, y'all need to sit down and talk about how to school. It sounds like you have him in a very good virtual school program. IMO homeschool is best when it's not school at home though. Together y'all should pick out how to do homeschool, given all the factors, including you have so little time. He should be pretty independant.

 

He needs to feel listened to. He needs to know you are listening and not formulating your next argument.

 

OTOH, He needs to know how upset you are and let down. You are upset in part for him and his future and he needs to know that.

 

Together you can find a program he will do and do well.  IMO at his age you can't make unilateral decisions such as what program or materials to use anymore.

 

You might also want to try unschooling for a while. I'd suggest getting the teenage liberation handbook and both of you read it.

 

What we do at our home is I show the kids the subjects they must cover. I include resources I've found so they can look them over in links on the Internet. Then they have a choice to learn it with the curriculum I think would work, find their own or submit to me a plan to learn it their own way.  Having a voice is key with teens.

After they help make the plan and pick out the materials they have less reason to not work.

 

Sometimes they do hate the curriculum pieces they've picked. After they have given it a good try. In those cases I try to find alternative but free or low priced stuff to make up for it. They have to try and look as well. You can find nearly everything online or at the library. It's just a little less handed to them on a silver platter. They have to research, take notes and mine for the information more. I think that's a good thing to learn to do.

 

 

[KCKmom1986]

I concur!
We've had to unschool our youngest daughter this past year because she was upset at becoming an only child when her brother went off to Bible college for the year, and then her sister moved to the city an hour & a half away. It was the best move we could have made! She became independent because of it.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

*hug*

You have every right to be angry.

At his age, y'all need to sit down and talk about how to school. It sounds like you have him in a very good virtual school program. IMO homeschool is best when it's not school at home though. Together y'all should pick out how to do homeschool, given all the factors, including you have so little time. He should be pretty independant.

He needs to feel listened to. He needs to know you are listening and not formulating your next argument.

OTOH, He needs to know how upset you are and let down. You are upset in part for him and his future and he needs to know that.

Together you can find a program he will do and do well. IMO at his age you can't make unilateral decisions such as what program or materials to use anymore.

You might also want to try unschooling for a while. I'd suggest getting the teenage liberation handbook and both of you read it.

What we do at our home is I show the kids the subjects they must cover. I include resources I've found so they can look them over in links on the Internet. Then they have a choice to learn it with the curriculum I think would work, find their own or submit to me a plan to learn it their own way. Having a voice is key with teens.

After they help make the plan and pick out the materials they have less reason to not work.

Sometimes they do hate the curriculum pieces they've picked. After they have given it a good try. In those cases I try to find alternative but free or low priced stuff to make up for it. They have to try and look as well. You can find nearly everything online or at the library. It's just a little less handed to them on a silver platter. They have to research, take notes and mine for the information more. I think that's a good thing to learn to do.