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Who pays?

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:04 PM
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My SD just moved several states from us this past September. She called and says she wants to come up for Thanksgiving. What's the rule on this? Who pays? Do we split it? (probably have to demand BM pays 1/2, though from what we hear she hasnt' found a job yet) Or just absorb the cost? I know my DH wants to see her and will this occur everytime we want to see her????

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 12:04 PM
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Replies (1-4):
calitwinsmom
by New Member on Nov. 13, 2009 at 2:43 PM

For us we had it ordered that we would pay the whole amount for the tickets because we new that birth mother doesn't work and would never have the money to pay for the ticket.  In California, when figuring Child Support, that was something they took into consideration.  They divided the average amount of ticket price and how many times she would be flying and subtracted that from the monthly child support along with the insurance.  Our problem is getting birth mom to actually put the child on the plane to see us.  We have bought 2 tickets that didn't get used because she refused to send her to us.  When that happened our lawyer filed a motion saying that we get to be reimbursed for the amount of the tickets.  In our case we are talking about a 10 year old, I think it really depends on the situation.  We don't exactly have a good one with my husband's ex. 

mama_jessica
by Member on Nov. 13, 2009 at 5:12 PM

I think a lot of times, the cost or travel is supposed to be split.  Sometimes the courts make the person that moved away from the other parent pay the travel costs.  If you pay this time, chances are BM will make you pay anytime you want to see SD (well, I don't know your bm, but that's how our bm would be).

Dicea
by Member on Nov. 14, 2009 at 7:49 AM

I don't think my DH is going to pursue the courts in this matter (always fearful they'll raise support) especially now that BM is currently unemployed. I talked with my DH last night and now he doesn't even know if my SD is coming. Well, its only 2 weeks until Thanksgiving and I can't believe nothing is planned. I'm such a planner... anywayz, I told him to put $$ aside just in case he will be paying for her (most likely). Thanks for the advice. Eventually I hope they split it, just to be fair.

kennedyhouse
by New Member on Nov. 21, 2009 at 9:59 PM

They should have figured this out before now. But generally a court will order the parent who moved away to pay for the cost.

They really need to discuss it for the future, whether she comes for Thanksgiving or not. If they can come to an agreement, it can be filed with the court to make it legally binding. :)

~Elizabeth

 

 

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