Hello, I have 3 boys 7,11, and 12. The two older ones are actually my step-sons. What I need advice on is that their BM is in and out of their lives. She walked out when they were 3 and 4. She shows up every couple of years and sees them. My husband has full control, care and custody.mThe last time she took us to court to regain her unsupervised visitation. She lost it because of the men she had been with that had been convicted of doing really bad thing to kids and a man that had been in prison for murder. She has also been on several different drugs and the kids have been at cps for strange bruises. The school called we all had to go in and the kids said that they got them at BM house. She has told the boys twice before that she was sick and dying. I found out the first time she didn't have cancer because I took her to a pregancy check up and when I asked the doc about how the cancer would effect the delivery, he told me she did not have nor ever had cancer. We had been pretty good friends in the past. Well after not a word for 3 years, she gets visitation everyother week-end and now after only having had them for 5 week ends she is saying she has cancer again and could be dying. They just spent the summer going through treatments with their grandma and are really really worried about this. Before they were still young enough to talk around how seriou cancer is. How should I handle this? I don't want to say that their mom is lying because I don't know, but I know and they know that she has lied soooo much before, but she is still the woman that carried them for 9 monthes and brough them into this world.
Ugh, that's hard. There is not a lot you can do if she is lying to them about having cancer. I do not understand why someone would do that to their kids!! Hopefully they will figure it out for themselves.
First of all I just want to commend you for being an upstanding and understanding stepmom. Caring for her boys and taking her to doc appts is huge in my book. I will be praying for the boys and for you that God gives you the strength to get through this. All you can do is your best and to tell those boys what they deserve to know the truth. What she does is her business and yes they will figure it out. Children are so smart yet very impressionable. It sounds to me that she wants to believe her own lies and if that is the case she should not have unsupervised visitation. Sounds like counseling would be the best option for her. I also have two boys that I care for as their mother is not a constant parent in their lives. My divorced boyfriend of 16months has full custody. And the BM was in jail last year for DUI and child endangerment. It is a rough rode but with the support of our Lord He will carry us through. You have very special talents and that is why God has placed you in the lives of these children. Stay strong and lean on Him. God Bless.
Wondering about ss bm
- Moma3boyz
on Jan. 23, 2012 at 7:42 PM