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I'm a new stepmommy!

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:19 PM
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Hi Everyone,

I'm new to the site! I am wanting to find other stepmoms out there who have the same desire to grow our kiddos up in the way of the Lord and want fellowship with others as well.

My husband and I were married this past December. Whoohoo! He brought a 6 year old son into our marriage and he lives with us. The mother is present in his life to an extent. She likes to be a mom when it's convenient for her. While she was married to my now husband, she got pregant with another child, not by my husband. That child is also a boy and does not live with us, although we would love for him to. We do get partial rights towards him. He gets to come over every other Friday and stay through Saturday night. These are the opposite weekends that "our son" who lives with us, goes to his mom's house to visit her and his brother. Such a confusing and twisted situation! The son that lives with us calls me mommy. Prompted only by himself. We had a long chat about it and he decided that's what he wanted to call me. We are very close. Is there anyone out there like me?

We attend a church in Dallas, Tx and they do not have a Step Family or Blended Family ministry. I have thought about leading a stepmom group to get the ball rolling there but didn't know where to find these superstepmoms! I would love to get to know you and get some good advice and wisdom! So excited to be here.

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 12:19 PM
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by Member on Feb. 9, 2012 at 4:30 PM

Welcome!!!  I consider my self a step parent but I am not married yet.  I have been dating a divorced father the past year and a half and we plan on getting married.  He has two boys 9 and 7.  They know their mother too but it is the same situation only when it's convient for her.  i would love to have the fellowship with other stepmoms as this is a very complex and difficult situation for everyone involved.  I was also brought up in a blended family with parents who did not get along very well or agree on much so this is bringing up many old wounds which makes it more difficult for me.  I help my DBF take care of the boys too as he can not afford daycare and doesn't want to traumatize the boys anymore.  He says.  So that has been difficult because I think daycare would be ok sometimes.  It would let them interact with other children and learn social skills they will need later on.  Anywho  i might not be in the same situation as you but I am a step parent that need support.  We are seeking a church right now where we live in Oregon so prayers for that would be wonderful as these boys have never been to church and did not even know what one was until last year.  I hope the boys like going and fall in love with our Father.  Bless you!  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

by New Member on Feb. 29, 2012 at 3:08 PM

I consider myself to be a stepmom, as that I'm dating my soon to be husband.  He has 2 small girls from his first marriage and I am unmarried with no children of my own.  I am also looking for fellowship with other stepmom who seek to raise their children in the ways of our Heavenly Father.  The Bible is very clear on how to raise a family with one mom, one dad and's a little fuzzy when you add a stepfamily in the mix. 

I also thought about starting a stepmom ministry because our church does not address such issues.  I decided to go this avenue instead because I desperately need fellowship with other women going through the same issues as myself. 

Lisalynn1982, I'm currently reading a book called, "The Smart Stepmom" and it truly transformed my life regarding the role as stepmom.  I highly encourage it for any new stepmom! 

That's pretty sweet that he called you mommy but I unfortunately am not in the same boat.  They have a mother (split custody) and they are currently resenting me...their situation is tough.  We were besties for the past 6 months, but ever since the Dad started to mention remarriage (w/me), things have gone downhill. 

by on Mar. 2, 2012 at 4:46 AM

You said your husband's ex got pregnant with the second boy by another man.  Did your husband raise the second boy as his own?

When I married my husband, his son was 4 years old.  He lived with his mother and she made it clear that she didn't want her son calling anyone else "mommy" even though she made him call her boyfriend "daddy" which really irritated my husband.  My husband got custody of his son in 2008, then 9 years old,  because CPS took the boy and his younger sister and brother (by two different boyfriends) away from the mother.  At the final court hearing it was decided my stepson would only see his mother once a month for 2 hours at a public place (like the park).  Her rights to the other 2 children were terminated and their daddy's rights were terminated also.


by on Mar. 2, 2012 at 8:44 AM
Hello and welcome. I have been a step mom for almost 9 yrs now. I have looked for Biblical advice also and this is what I go by. Look up wife and mother verses. While that child or children are with you, you are their mom. There is a ton of advice. Then for the hard (sometimes almost impossible) part, treat their mom as you want to be treated. My husband has total custody of the boys. Their mom has been in and out of their lives when ever she wants. There has been times when I have wanted to pull every hair out of her head. When I feel this way I stop and pray for her. It does help. The kids also see a better way other than fighting to deal with people that try to get under your skin. I will be praying for you. Being a step mom is hard whether kids live with you or visit you. It can be rewardinging also knowing that you had a part in teaching these kids about living a life pleasing God.
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by Member on Mar. 12, 2012 at 1:05 PM
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you are such an encouragment girlies! I'm a full time step mom to a 11 year old girl and twin 6 year old boys whose BM is also in and out of the picture so much. Not only do you have to treat their mom the way you want to be treated, but you have to treat THEM the way you want to be treated. Sometimes as a stepmom, you're an easy target for the natural anger and hate that comes due to child having a parent that's not involved. Even when I get the "i hate you" "i wish i had my old life back" comments, I want to give-up and not even try to love my stepkids. I have to stop and just fall to my knees asking God for supernatural love toward them.

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