I have been a stepmom to 3 great kids: a 17-year-old girl, 12-year-old boy and 11-year-old boy, for seven years. They live with their father and me and visit their mother EOW. There have been many hardships and lots of blessings, but sometimes I feel so alone because I don't know any other stepmoms who are trying to honor God in their role. I am excited to have found this site and trust that will change.
Welcome! I would love to get to know you. I'm a new stepmom, well more like stepmom in training. And could use all the advice I can get. We have two boys 9 and 7. I'm also trying to honor God and help raise these boys the right way. I also feel so alone sometimes because of what I have gone through. I want so badly to connect with other women who are facing the same thing as me. It has been a hard road for us as well because the boys Mother is not involved very much and she is irresponsible. Keep in touch. :)
Thanks for the welcome! I, by no means, have figured things out, but it is good to see I am not the only one struggling in this role. Two things I have learned that have helped me are:
1. Make sure to take time for yourself (hobby, exercise, devotions, etc.). You don't want to lose yourself and forget who you are.
2. Don't assume that if the children treat you disrespectfully they are doing it because you are their stepmom. They may be testing the boundaries because you are an authority figure in their life and they are children. That's what they do.
It is important to stay close to God and turn to him when you are struggling. Being a stepmom is a selfless role and it sometimes feels like we are being called to be inhumanly selfless. Only with God's help can we even begin to live like that.
Pray for me. I am struggling with an issue with the BM and am feeling very much alone and at a loss about what to do.
Thanks!
I know this is an older post, but I hope this will still be helpful.
I am a stepmom raising my 8 yr old stepson full time. He sees his BM EOWE (only for the past couple of years). I am his primary caregiver, and I must say that taking time for myself is challenging. Since I am also homeschooling him I am around him pretty much 24/7 (except for 4 days a month when he visits BM). I would like to be in contact with other stepmoms who have their skids full time since I often feel alone and misunderstood in my situation.
Quoting Vicky1975:I know this is an older post, but I hope this will still be helpful.
I am a stepmom raising my 8 yr old stepson full time. He sees his BM EOWE (only for the past couple of years). I am his primary caregiver, and I must say that taking time for myself is challenging. Since I am also homeschooling him I am around him pretty much 24/7 (except for 4 days a month when he visits BM). I would like to be in contact with other stepmoms who have their skids full time since I often feel alone and misunderstood in my situation.
Well, Humility1, it sounds like you are doing the right thing in letting the grandparents visit. They are his grandparents, a vital relationship for every child. And your husband doesn't need to get upset with you, you do need the break. He needs to support you on that, I will pray with you on that! Also praying for step4 God to be fulfilled in her stepmom role. God Bless!
Giving gifts or money to stepkids for birthdays
- step4God
on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:27 PM