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Stepping it alone?

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:27 PM
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I have been a stepmom to 3 great kids: a 17-year-old girl, 12-year-old boy and 11-year-old boy, for seven years. They live with their father and me and visit their mother EOW. There have been many hardships and lots of blessings, but sometimes I feel so alone because I don't know any other stepmoms who are trying to honor God in their role. I am excited to have found this site and trust that will change.

by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 2:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Moma3boyz
by on Apr. 30, 2012 at 5:34 PM
Welcome!
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mon78
by Member on May. 1, 2012 at 3:27 PM

Welcome!  I would love to get to know you.  I'm a new stepmom, well more like stepmom in training.  And could use all the advice I can get.  We have two boys 9 and 7.  I'm also trying to honor God and help raise these boys the right way.  I also feel so alone sometimes because of what I have gone through.  I want so badly to connect with other women who are facing the same thing as me.  It has been a hard road for us as well because the boys Mother is not involved very much and she is irresponsible.  Keep in touch.  :) 

step4God
by New Member on May. 2, 2012 at 10:38 AM
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Thanks for the welcome! I, by no means, have figured things out, but it is good to see I am not the only one struggling in this role. Two things I have learned that have helped me are:

1. Make sure to take time for yourself (hobby, exercise, devotions, etc.). You don't want to lose yourself and forget who you are.

2. Don't assume that if the children treat you disrespectfully they are doing it because you are their stepmom. They may be testing the boundaries because you are an authority figure in their life and they are children. That's what they do.

It is important to stay close to God and turn to him when you are struggling. Being a stepmom is a selfless role and it sometimes feels like we are being called to be inhumanly selfless. Only with God's help can we even begin to live like that.

Pray for me. I am struggling with an issue with the BM and am feeling very much alone and at a loss about what to do.

Thanks!

kristielw
by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 8:31 AM
Wow! I'm a full time step mom to an 11 year old girl and 6 year old twin boys! Looks like we have the exact age matches just a few years younger :) not too often are step moms the full time mommys with visits to bio mom. You are definitely not alone!
TaJaJaMomma
by New Member on May. 4, 2012 at 10:44 PM
Welcome!
Vicky1975
by Member on Aug. 13, 2012 at 5:42 PM

I know this is an older post, but I hope this will still be helpful.

I am a stepmom raising my 8 yr old stepson full time. He sees his BM EOWE (only for the past couple of years). I am his primary caregiver, and I must say that taking time for myself is challenging. Since I am also homeschooling him I am around him pretty much 24/7 (except for 4 days a month when he visits BM). I would like to be in contact with other stepmoms who have their skids full time since I often feel alone and misunderstood in my situation.

Moma3boyz
by on Aug. 13, 2012 at 9:39 PM
Hey, I seen you homeschool also! I homeschool my sk's as well.

Quoting Vicky1975:

I know this is an older post, but I hope this will still be helpful.


I am a stepmom raising my 8 yr old stepson full time. He sees his BM EOWE (only for the past couple of years). I am his primary caregiver, and I must say that taking time for myself is challenging. Since I am also homeschooling him I am around him pretty much 24/7 (except for 4 days a month when he visits BM). I would like to be in contact with other stepmoms who have their skids full time since I often feel alone and misunderstood in my situation.

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Humility1
by Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:31 AM
Hi everyone, I know this post is late but I just wanted to say that you are not alone. I have a sson that is 10 yrs old he is a great kid but there are time that I feel so alone. My husband is a great man also, and my sson's grandparents are involved which is a great thing! However, my sson goes there every other weekend but stays here full time. His grandparents told me that if I ever needed a break to call them. Well, I did and they picked up my sson and my husband got real mad at me. I told my husband that he needs to understand that I need time for myself or else I will explode an that won't be good either. It's sad because jus because my sson's BM is not involved at all because she's locked up and on drugs it's like my husband said that I shouldn't be bringing him to his grandparents however the grandparents have 50 custody so in theory I feel like I'm obeying the law and I'm human wether or not your a bio mom or stepmom you need a break. It just makes me mad that my husband always does this to me.
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sonshining
by Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 7:35 PM
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Well, Humility1, it sounds like you are doing the right thing in letting the grandparents visit. They are his grandparents, a vital relationship for every child. And your husband doesn't need to get upset with you, you do need the break. He needs to support you on that, I will pray with you on that! Also praying for step4 God to be fulfilled in her stepmom role. God Bless!

Humility1
by Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:48 PM

Thanks sonshining I had a feeling I was doing the right thing what a nice way to start the evening:) your support is appreciated!
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