Future SS not happy about our wedding...how do I deal with this?
I need some advice regarding my upcoming wedding on September 29th. I have 3 future stepchildren, ages 13, 8 and 7. I have great relationships with all of them but the 8 year old is really struggling with the fact that his dad is getting married again. It's a tough situation because he and I are very close.
My fiance wants the kids involved in the wedding. We currently have all of them standing up, although the 8 year old said he doesn't want to. At this point, a back up plan is developing in case he throws a fit the morning of and won't walk. (Having a family member take him aside and keep him away from the ceremony, etc.)
I'm frustrated because this isn't what I want for my wedding day. I know I probably sound horribly selfish but it's just the way I feel. I'm annoyed because I wanted to go away and get married because I didnt' want to have to deal with any stress. But it was very important to my fiance to have the kids involved so we've compromised with a plan for a small luncheon wedding.
I suggested last night that maybe we just not have him stand up if he doesn't want to. That didnt' go over well...my fiance felt like that comment meant i was trying to kick the kids to the curb. That isn't my intent. But I feel like I have to protect myself and my feelings too...this is a very special day for me. Once again, I feel horribly guilty admitting this but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do or how I'm supposed to be the most supportive.
It's easy enough to say that we'll go with the plan...if he's fussy, someone will take care of it so that we don't have to. But I'll know what happened when he's not up there...and so will everyone else.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.