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I just made my SO discipline my ss...

Posted by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 10:01 PM
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I'm all about SO making the decisions for the SK, and 99% of the time I leave it up to him... Tonight was apparently the one exception.

It's silly this got as out of hand as it did... But, these things happen...

We are leaving for Disney World in the morning, SD was looking for her pin necklace (i didn't know this existed until recently... The kids buy pins and Exchange them with each other or park employees). I just cleaned all three of the SK's rooms really well on Sunday (normally that's on the kids, but we are also getting ready to put the house up for sale). I put it in a specific spot, knowing she would want it and it wasn't there. SS 12s necklace was also missing. We checked SS10s room and he had taken all the pins and put them on his necklace and hid his siblings' necklaces .... I told DH about it to let him handle it. So, the two other siblings took their pins off of SS10s necklace while SO talked to SS10. Then, SS10 comes downstairs and loses it because he doesn't have that many pins (he doesn't take care of things.... I'm surprised he still has a necklace at all). So he stomps upstairs, a few minutes later I hear him screaming at SD because she has more pins (she had more to begin with, and took better care of her necklace). SO was busy so I went upstairs to see what was going on... Probably my first mistake. SS screams at me, slams doors in my face and runs away when I try to talk to him. He ultimately runs downstairs to SO. I'm furious at this point, I try to hold it together while SO and SS talk AGAIN ... After his chat with SS10, SO tries to convince SS 12 to give some of his pins to SS10: which I find ridiculous. Then promises to buy SS10 all his missing pins when we get there tomorrow. I also find this ridiculous.... But whatever. The part I'm concerned about is when he was completely disrespectful to me.

If SS would have talked to SO the way he was talking to me, and acted the way he did, he would be grounded for a week. But, SO decided it would be sufficient to just talk with SS.... Which pretty much means play it off like it was no big deal and then chat about other things for 20 minutes. I wasn't ok with this. I though SS deserved a consequence (no tv tonight) and tried explaining that to SO... He 'didnt want to ruin the trip'. My response was its not ruining the trip, its showing ss that the way he treated me is not ok and its showing him that so supports me.
SO went up and said goodnight to the SK, and when he came down I asked him if SS was watching tv, he said yes. I told him i wasnt letting SS off the hook that easy, either SO was going to do something, or i was going to. So, SO took care of it.

I'm still hurt that I had to get to that point and I still don't feel like SO supported me. and I am upset that he hasn't talked to me about what happened at all...

Now, this is not an isolated incident, SS has a history of getting short with me, and I'm the only one who doesn't sugar coat things when I talk to him ... I'm not mean, but I'm not going to pretend like he didn't do anything wrong when he has. Plus, SS and I have the hardest time getting along of all three SK. I get it, I get why he feels and acts the way he does, but I refuse to let him disrespect me like that without a consequence.

I always preach about how I let DH make decisions like this.... I guess there's exceptions to everything....
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by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 10:01 PM
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by New Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 12:08 PM

Wow i guess i've been really blessed because my hubby always backs me. I've really never had issues with either of my two ss I am loving but firm. If I'm going to cook, clean, shop etc. for them, then I'm the mom of the household and when i speak to them they must listen or yes, consequences. I agree with you completely.

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by Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 6:37 PM
Hi I completely agree with you my sson is the same way he talks to my husband differently, he's more nicer, and he gives me an attitude. I wasn't going to put up with his attitude last week, so I told him its disrespectful. Like my sson yelled at me the other day just because he could not get in the house. Yet I know kids will be kids I was just bothered by the fact that my husband didn't do anything so I did something. I do everything for him the food shopping you name it I do it. I refuse to be disrespected in my own home so I told sson that he needs to stay with his grandparents over the weekend because I need a break from everything including my husband.
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