I am married to a man who was married before, and had one daughter within that marriage. He and his ex-wife divorced when she was under 2, and I met him a year and a half later.
I love him and believe that God meant for us to be together. I didn't realize how much He was going to ask me to grow, though, by giving me a stepdaughter and an ex-wife!
My SD is now 9 and I have two boys of my own, ages 2 and 6 months.
Please post your story and how we can support you in your current situation. Please support others in their laughter and tears.
Please keep in mind that this is meant to be a place of welcome and support, not to disparage others, including bio-moms!
Thanks ... looking forward to talking!
Hi, i am new to the group. My husband and i met in 1981, he was seperated from his ex, but not yet divorced. He got his divorce and we were married soon after. We got married in 1981. My step-kids then were ages 4, 6, & 9. Now, we have been married for 31 years and the step-kids are now ages 35,37, & 40. And my husband and i have 2 children of our own, ages 26 & 29. I am glad i found this group.
Quoting Jen-ash:Hi, I'm about to be 30 and I'm engaged for the first time to a man with 2 sons from a previous marriage. Ages 6 and 4. He/We have them 50% of the time and I find it to be both rewarding and yet terrifying as I'm being thrown into situations I wasn't prepared for and sometimes I feel like I'm treading water. I'm so happy to have found this group and hope to make some friends or at least be able to express myself to those who know what I'm talking about. ie: ex wife jealousy (my ex is gone forever. I get to live my fiance's ex for the rest of my life), suddenly having kids when you're used to being childless, trying to find your role in the household, being graceful when the kids are mean to you, in laws, etc. It's a LOT and it's no wonder people think we're crazy. But I agree that God knows what's up especially because my fiance is EXACTLY the type of man I prayed for in my darkest times after a breakup. So I believe this is meant but it's not without it's challenges when it comes to the children, the ex, my intenions to add children of my own to the mix an somehow keep my relationship exciting. That's one heck of a hello message but whatever.
For the past year, I have been in a relationship with a man I have known for 24 years. We actually started out as penpals when we were teenagers. Over the years we somehow managed to find each other and make contact every so often, but only briefly, due to having our own lives and families to deal with. Regardless of how long we had no contact with each other, we always kept each other close to our hearts. It was never this lust-type thing, but it's like we were meant to stay in contact- I don't really know how to explain it..... We were just always drawn to each other, but not in a couple kind o way until recently, if that makes sense.
We both thought that we were happy in our marriages and struggled with spouses who refused to go to church. However, in the end, neither of us were willing to stop going to church to make them happy.
I divorced my husband after 11 years of marriage (we were together for 20) when I decided to no longer put up with his alcoholism and anger issues. I refused to allow my children to be witnesses to his drinking and his stupidity when he was drunk.
My SO has been married twice, and is now in the middle of his 2nd divorce. His soon-to-be ex is a narcissist. (The divorce will be finalized in October/November, with or without her signature). She has refused to sign divorce papers (even though she has said IN COURT that she wants a divorce!) because she believes that he has a big inheritance coming- is mother has kidney failure. She is definitely a piece of work. She believer she is entitled to whatever she wants, that she is better than everyone else, thatvshe is the reason the kids are so good, etc. She only likes me because she believes that I can be of some use to her (free babysitter, scapegoat, target, whatever she needs). She recently began asking him when I was moving and why I couldn't just move right then. I do not hate her, but I do not plan on hanging out with her as if we are best buddies, either.
Anyway, I have 2 DDs (7 and 8) and he has a DS (12) and a DD (10). We are starting to plan our lives together now. My DDs and I will be moving to PA to be near him in a few months. I have spent time with his kids when I flew to see him and we Skype often. We do want his kids to be with us, would fight for them if that is in their best interest.
I know that this is the beginning of a great adventure- full of excitement and probably a lot of drama. I know that blending our families is not going to be easy, but no one ever said it would be.
Hi,
I am new to this group. I have been a stepmom for 2.5 years. My SS is 5. My DH and BM were never married and they never lived together with SS. SS is almost 6. We are currently in the middle of a custody battle for a lot of not very fun reasons. I am looking for a supportive place that will encourage me to focus more on loving and respecting than on all the negatives. I realized that I have lost sight of letting God have it and trusting him and have let my relationship with him slide and in doing so have picked up quite a bit of negative energy. I am looking to get back to some peace and to get some advice that will not be just to tear me apart, tell me I'm wrong or give me a completely unuseful example of what I should be doing, which is all I have found so far. I am hoping that this group will be different, because I have enough drama without an online forum adding to it.
Giving gifts or money to stepkids for birthdays
- speechmomma
on May. 6, 2007 at 8:05 PM