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what to do with an 11 yr old...

Posted by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:09 AM
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So I picked up my sd yesterday to spend time with her and every time I or my husband ask her a question her response is " I don't know."
Or one word answers and this isn't new she has always been like this and it's kind if frustrating at times. SD is book smart but I'm beginning to think she lacks personality.
I tried to have a convo with her yesterday about her future, I asked her where she wants to go to hs and what interests her. SD responds, "I don't know " My response what do you think you want to do after school, do you like art, design, building stuff, animals etc. SD responds " I don't know get a job"
It bothers me and my husband bc she doesn't seem to have any interests or goals at all! No aspirations , she just stats on her iPod most if the day unless she's playing with my daughter or son or watching tv.
Not sure what to do or how to make a connection when she seems to lack anything social... DH is concerned she's not all there considering her mother isn't.

Any tips would be helpful!


by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:11 AM

Why did you delete your other post?

MommySzkotnicki
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:15 AM

stop commenting on my posts, I have already reported you.

whatIknownow
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:22 AM

Reported me for what? I have not violated any TOS.  You've been given the same advice, over and over, in other groups.  You are speaking with disdain about this 11yo child, and your husband doesn't want anything to do with her, and thinks she's "not all there."

if you really want to build a relationship with her, try being less judgy about her. Try focusing on her good points. She will not fit into your box. Find a way to get to know who she is. Or, just leave things as they are. Your husband isn't interested in getting to know his daughter, he hasn't been there her whole life - and she probably knows that. There is a lot of damage to undo - but only your husband can undo that, You can't. And the fact that he thinks she is "not all there" suggests that he really doesn't want to get to know her. He has no love for her.

How do you think that makes this little girl feel? 

MommySzkotnicki
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:22 AM

You are an ignorant, simple minded, pessimistic disgruntled little woman who calls herself Christian, ha that's a joke!!! I have been in my step daughters life for 5 yrs not 5 minutes, do not come in here and judge me and tell me what I should do. You are NO ONE, just bc you seem to be miserable in your life doesn't mean everyone else needs to be. My SD loves me and spending time with me and her half siblings and her father, not that it's any of your business. God is the only one who can make judgment and last time I checked YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR God. You have been reported and will be blocked. From now on mind your business and if you don't have anything nice to say keep your mouth shut!!!


and that is why i deleted the other post, good day and I will pray for you so that you can find God.

MommySzkotnicki
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:23 AM

you dont know anything so mind your business

whatIknownow
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:25 AM

you posted in another thread that your husband has a strained relationship with her and has not pursued spending time with her because he hates her mother. And that the girl lives with her grandmother.  You said you wanted to start seeing her and start having a relationship with her. You said you dont know her very well. Now you say "my SD loves me." Well, that is completely contradictory to what you wrote in other posts. 

MommySzkotnicki
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:36 AM
Stop commenting on my post you psycho!!! You are a post stalker, stay away you crazy woman!!!
For your information I know my stepdaughter very well we have daily conversations when she's not here with us. I never said that I didn't know her very well, So stop making things up that weren't said.
My husband wants to have a relationship with SD he just doesn't know how to go out about doing it. The situation is complicated and none of your business so stay out of it!
whatIknownow
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:37 AM

well, hopefully you will think about these things that people  have told you, even if you are not ready to listen right now.

And, "daily conversations" and "I know her well" doesnt' fit at all with what you wrote in this post.

No one can help you if you arent' honest about your situation, or if you keep changing your story.

MommySzkotnicki
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:44 AM
Really it didn't fit? Try actually reading instead of judging for once and maybe it will make sense.
Learn to shut your mouth when someone doesn't ask for your input. You are a unhappy disgruntled little woman who likes to make judgments on other ppl lives.
Take your own advice and be honest with yourself and leave other ppl alone.
whatIknownow
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 10:49 AM

You did ask for our input. Your post says "any tips would be helpful."

But I think all  you really wanted to do was bash your 11yo stepdaughter.

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