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Baby Blues and What Not

Posted by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:21 AM
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DH and I both work long hours and very different schedules. We get a few hours together in the morning before we go to bed (we both work nightshift) and thats about it. I get a lot of weekends off but with his work rotation I spend a lot of them alone. Since school is starting again next week SD isnt around and the house is very quiet. I miss her.

And yet we still have so much more on our plate. The house is in the process of being remodeled and it has to be done in baby steps. DH and I have been working towards paying off his debt from the divorce, my vehicle, etc. The renovations had to be put on hold. DH and I promised each other that we wouldnt consider having any children until most of our debt was done with. We are getting close, but not as quickly as I would like to and things always seem to get in the way. New tires, both of us have had multiple recalls on our cars (which thankfully didnt cost us anything), leaky sink, the bathroom had to be completely redone and that was a small fortune in itself.

What it all comes down to? DH is my best friend and I feel like I never get to see him, i really miss boog (SD) when she is gone, and I have wanted children as long as I can remember. I am just terribly lonely.DH and I agreed to start trying to have a baby next year, but at the same time the more I think about having a baby I wonder how we are going to manage it all. Both working night shift, I would be unable to even consider going part time or being a stay at home mom, etc. I worry a lot. I know everyone says no matter how much you prepare you will never be 100% ready, but I am one of those people who wants to be. And working night shift with about 50 hours a week I wanna be a part of my childrens lives. I already feel like I miss out on so much with SD and DH already. I am really happy that SD gets as much time with DH as she does but I want to be a part of my family too and I want her around more. Am I the only one who feels this way? I know they love me and their intentions arent to make me feel bad, but often times I feel like more of a bank account than a prominent member of my own family. I guess im throwing myself a pity party, but I dont know how to sort this all out. Its all just added up to this. Any advice?

by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 7:21 AM
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sonshining
by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:42 PM

Wow, I feel for you. So the night shift, what is that 11pm to 7am, something like that? And would you get maternity leave? Who is set to watch your baby when you do go back to work? All these should be considered. I hear ya on the baby yearning, I had it for years. But don't create a situation which could create drama and bring heartache. Can anything be done to change your shift? Your saying you have the feeling of a bank account is wrong. Your husband needs to step up and provide. I understand the need for work. I have to too. We do what we have to, but family comes first.

LiveInTheNow
by Member on Aug. 22, 2014 at 8:55 AM

 Thats just it. My husband does provide, and he works very hard at what he does. And Lord knows he keeps up on the house because his schedule allows him more time off, but he does it without complaint. I feel like i am just never really here and I wish I could do more. In order to switch shifts I would have to find a new job and this job provides excellent healthcare and great pay. Im thinking worst case scenario if I have to keep working my sister can look after the lil bean, she is a full time stay at home mom with her baby boy. My hours arent a natural night shift, I work 7pm-4am but there is alot of mandatory overtime involved. My husband works 4 days on and 4 days off and it rotates through the week. His hours are 8pm to 8am. Thanks for the kind words though. :)

Quoting sonshining:

Wow, I feel for you. So the night shift, what is that 11pm to 7am, something like that? And would you get maternity leave? Who is set to watch your baby when you do go back to work? All these should be considered. I hear ya on the baby yearning, I had it for years. But don't create a situation which could create drama and bring heartache. Can anything be done to change your shift? Your saying you have the feeling of a bank account is wrong. Your husband needs to step up and provide. I understand the need for work. I have to too. We do what we have to, but family comes first.

 

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