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We are pulling out...

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:25 PM
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....of ds's private school.  I really love the child led learning(Montessori) method, and I've learned so much (maybe even more than ds!) about just relaxing and really getting excited about learning, but we had an altercation last week that has been weighing heavily on me.  I am wondering if I'm overeacting, so here it is:

Ds has been told many, many, many times to put his gloves in his coat pockets.  Like, every single time he came inside.  He always came up with a reason for why he didn't want to do it, so I told him that it was up to him, but that he would not have his gloves at a time when he needed them if he didn't make sure that he kept them in his coat pockets, and dropped it(other than the normal "make sure you know where they are") as of 2 weeks ago.  Now, this is after about 6 pairs of lost gloves this season, since he always comes back from his dad's with new ones.  

Ok, so Friday here it has snowed a bit and is in the 20's, and when I drop ds at school they are outside playing in the green space.  Ds greets his teacher, I say goodbye and walk to the parking lot.  The teacher's assistant chases me out there yelling " M doesn't have any gloves!  M doesn't have any gloves!"  So I turn around and head back towards her, and explain why he doesn't have them, and that his father and I have decided that it's about time natural consequences teach him why he should keep track of his gloves.  I can't explain the look she gave me, but she clearly didn't understand my reasoning.  She didn't give me a reply, so I walked back to my car.  As I was getting in, I noticed a glove of mine sitting in the back seat, so I hunted around and found the match to it and took them  to the assistant.  I showed them to her, informed her that they would be in ds's locker if he said that his hands were cold, he was welcome to put them on.  "You're not going to give them to him?"  I said "No, if he says that his hands are cold and realizes that he needs them, they are in his locker for him."  She looks at me, then says "So you were keeping his gloves from him?"  "No, these are mine that I found, I don't know where his even are, he has decided he shouldn't have to put them in his pockets, and that's fine, but he has to deal with what that means."  I then walk back to my car and leave to do my errands.  I pick ds up 2 and a half hours later, and he is wearing my gloves, so I say "Oh, did your teacher let you know where they were?"  He says yes, that told his main teacher that his hands were cold and she said that mom had put some in his locker, so he went and got them.  So it doens't appear that there was any problems involving him personally, and that's great.

I just really got the impression that the teacher thought I was very wrong in not just giving him the gloves.  I personally don't feel that he would've learned a darned thing other than "Someone will give me what I need" if I had given them to him, after weeks of helping him hunt them up after they had been just tossed aside, and even explaining to him that his hands were cold because he didn't have his gloves on.  

I guess I just got a really bad vibe from her, and I can't seem to let it go.  What do you ladies think?  How would you feel?  I've been question by his teachers before, being asked if he ate at all before he came to school  (school starts at noon!) because he's always so hungry, and I've had to explain that he really just eats all of the time, and when he's upset he eats even more.  We're pulling out either way, but I just would like to know if others think I'm wrong for feeling...insulted...I guess.

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:25 PM
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by Welcome Squad on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:37 PM

I can totally see how you feel. Kids do indeed need to learn responsibility and I could see if you were withholding his coat...but the gloves, I mean seriously how many kids loose their gloves every single's just what they do and for the teacher to act like it was a form of abuse (i know she didn't say it, but trust me...she was thinking it). There are many times my DS either leaves his gloves in his room or can't find them after I tell him ALL THE TIME put your gloves in your pocket and your hat in your sleeve! Sometimes we're about to leave the house and he will come out with his hood on and no gloves or hat. Now I do give him an extra hat from his older brother but I tell him to stick his hands in his pockets if they get cold! I totally feel ya sister! You are not wrong, abusive or neglecting. The teacher lady needs to chill LOL

 Through the eyes of a "Teacher Momma " typing  Let's talk homeschool  

by Testing the waters on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:23 PM
I absolutely agree with you trying to teach your ds responsiblilty! I go through that with my 8 yo ds and 10 yo dd! Whether it be gloves, shoes, toys left outside that get stolen... it helps to teach the child that they need to take care of what they have been given and that money doesnt grow on trees so Mommy and Daddy cant keep replacing things if they are lost or not taken care of!! Do not take the teachers actions or words to heart! Sounds like you are doing a great job! Also my ds eats constantly and is still very skinny! He can eat as much as my husband and still be hungry! Some kids are just like that!
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:41 PM

I am glad you're feeling the nudge to start homeschooling...I assume you are, that is. ; )

We truly love our homeschooling life. I wouldn't have it any other way. We use the Charlotte Mason Method...It is similar in some ways to Montessori Method... We aren't tied down to rigid text books or schedules. I would totally smother and dry up with a text book curriculum with guides and schedules and regulations and etc....Learning is just a natural part of life...that's how God made us. Hope you keep scooting this way (grin) and your homeschooling search will be complete in just a little while!

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