Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Still considering HSing...

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 10:14 AM
  • 9 Replies
  • 228 Total Views

I have been considering it forever it seems.  I have a son that will be 11 this summer (in 5th grade now) and a daughter that will be 10 this summer (in 4th grade now).

My son is mine from a previous marriage, his father has encouraged HSing, his wife HSs their 3 young children (mostly just their 6 yo right now, the other two are younger).  He wanted her to HS my son, but I said no for many reasons.  My son is advanced, 5th grade is far too easy for him in public school.  He has great teachers, but they also have a classroom full of other students.  He LOVES school and his friends.  I am torn when I think about taking him out of that environment.  They currently switch classes for different subjects, so I am trying to consider if I could send them for certain subjects starting next year and HS them for others.  Do schools allow that? 

My daughter is actually my stepdaughter, my husband has FULL custody, her mother hasn't had any contact with her in almost a year.  We could choose to HS her with no legal repercussions from her mother, she has no legal say in her education so it is really up to my husband.  She is just on grade level for everything and could use some extra help in some things, but she doesn't always get it since she kind of skates by.  She's quiet and has actually requested to be homeschooled.  I don't want her missing out on social things because I think she really needs that social interaction, but I would like to foster some better friendships for her than what she is getting through school.  She gives me a VERY hard time as a parent, she is always pushing my buttons, and we clash a lot because we are so similar.  We are getting it under control, but it is an ongoing battle.  I am nervous about HSing her because when I try to help her with homework sometimes she pushes me away and we end up just yelling at each other.  I don't want HSing to turn into a fight every day.


I am an education major (bachelors degree with some MEd courses, but I am taking time off now), I am a para in public kindergarten right now.  I don't make a lot, but I need to work at this point.  I need to make more money really.  I wish my husband had a better job, but he just doesn't right now and there aren't a lot of jobs out there.  I am considering trying a 'practice' run with HSing over the summer to see if we could actually do it.  So much of it makes me nervous, but I am also very nervous about what my children are learning in school.  I have such mixed feelings about it all.  I am afraid I am not good enough to teach them, they are getting older and my son especially will be surpassing my education in certain topics before I know it!  The stigma also makes me nervous, as I get older I understand that what others think is really not important, but I still wonder how we will be judged.  I don't want my kids "missing out" on things their friends do at school, but I really think school is just mostly social for them and I think I can give that to them in other ways (HS groups, sports or other activities). 

My husband has great 'life skills' he can teach the kids, he is amazingly resourceful but he also worries about HSing.  Basically though, when it comes to our kids' education, he defers to me (which is good and bad!)  I guess we are just still so borderline with it.  I would LOVE any advice, or ideas about curriculum (I would actually like to see a curriculum and figure out how we could make it work before making a decision).  We are literally poor, we are trying to buy a house but live with my mother in law, she would be pretty upset if I quit to HS.  I would love to buy a house, then possibly take in a child or two as like an in home daycare and then I would be able to make money and be home.  I am sure I could still give my two big kids what they need while having a couple little kids runingn around (I would also like to have another little kid or two, so it could be good practice, right?)

Sorry for the novel, but what do you think?  Advice, ideas?  Am I crazy?  Can I do it?

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 10:14 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
Bleacheddecay
by Leader on Mar. 19, 2013 at 10:26 AM
3 moms liked this

I think if your son is happy and you need to work, homeschooling doesn't make sense for you at this time.

Your daughter needs some extra help but maybe not from you since y'all yell at one another. There is no reason to keep doing that same thing. Maybe your husband or someone else could help her.

Socialization is not an issue either way and I'm going to expound a bit on it because I get sick of hearing about it. Our big problem was limiting socialization so we could focus on what we needed to do. There were so many choices and activities and these were (unlike regular school), all ages and all kinds of people, not limited to tiny class periods.

When my kids went to public school they weren't allowed to "talk" during P.E., lunch or pick up and recess was gone by the third grade. Some socialization that is and yet kids think they are "good friends" with other peer age kids simply because they are in the same class. That's like thinking your co-workers are your friends. KWIM?

TJandKarasMom
by Welcome Squad on Mar. 19, 2013 at 10:45 AM

Thank you!

I totally agree about the socializing part of it.  I know it must get annoying to hear it questioned, but I do wonder not being in that situation first hand.  But I also know my kids don't have the friendships I would like them to, they don't have time (aside from my son now being allowed to talk during lunch) to talk with their 'friends.'  And my daughter has had so many issues, girls are just mean!

I guess my biggest thing is what they are learning.  I don't like the things the schools skip over, or some of the things they encourage.  I don't like what my kids learn on the bus or the playground.  I don't like the distrcations in the classroom, all kinds of them.

I wonder if spending more time with them would reduce the friction between me and my daughter, she needs more one on one time and I just don't have the time to give it to her when 7 hours a day are spent in school, then we have dance or basketball, homework, dinner, showers, etc.  I am considering working a different job, I only make $10/hr for 180 days a year, I could probably make the same working in the grocery store evenings year round. 

While my son is happy in school, I don't feel like he is learning anything academically, and he is learning things I would rather him not learn at this point. 


This isn't something I am considering lightly.  I have been considering it for years.  And the more I learn, the more I want to do it.


Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I think if your son is happy and you need to work, homeschooling doesn't make sense for you at this time.

Your daughter needs some extra help but maybe not from you since y'all yell at one another. There is no reason to keep doing that same thing. Maybe your husband or someone else could help her.

Socialization is not an issue either way and I'm going to expound a bit on it because I get sick of hearing about it. Our big problem was limiting socialization so we could focus on what we needed to do. There were so many choices and activities and these were (unlike regular school), all ages and all kinds of people, not limited to tiny class periods.

When my kids went to public school they weren't allowed to "talk" during P.E., lunch or pick up and recess was gone by the third grade. Some socialization that is and yet kids think they are "good friends" with other peer age kids simply because they are in the same class. That's like thinking your co-workers are your friends. KWIM?



Tennismom360
by Testing the waters on Mar. 19, 2013 at 11:27 AM

Maybe you can start later on - when you guys are more stable. For example, when your husband has a better job.  I am not quite sure why the rush right now.  I just started and my kids are in the 8th grade and 7th grade. Oh and by the way I do work too - just part time though about 2-3 days a week and mostly weekends when hubby is home.

AutymsMommy
by Helping Hands on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:19 PM


I agree (with all of it, but especially the highlighted).

The one thing I do not agree on - socialization. At least in my area, I've had to really *try* for social activities where my children can actually make friends - most sports and other activities are very structured and do not allow for much free time to make friends (like my dd's ballet class). The best bet, in my opinion, for open socialization is to join a homeschool support group with unstructured "park days" or something similar - where they kids can simply play with eachother.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I think if your son is happy and you need to work, homeschooling doesn't make sense for you at this time.

Your daughter needs some extra help but maybe not from you since y'all yell at one another. There is no reason to keep doing that same thing. Maybe your husband or someone else could help her.

Socialization is not an issue either way and I'm going to expound a bit on it because I get sick of hearing about it. Our big problem was limiting socialization so we could focus on what we needed to do. There were so many choices and activities and these were (unlike regular school), all ages and all kinds of people, not limited to tiny class periods.

When my kids went to public school they weren't allowed to "talk" during P.E., lunch or pick up and recess was gone by the third grade. Some socialization that is and yet kids think they are "good friends" with other peer age kids simply because they are in the same class. That's like thinking your co-workers are your friends. KWIM?



I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














Bleacheddecay
by Leader on Mar. 19, 2013 at 3:43 PM
1 mom liked this

If you can make some nights or weekends arrangement for work, and share with your husband the homeschooling it might work for you. Of course a lack of sleep might not help your patience and you will need plenty of that at such a change. If I could give any new homeschooler advice it would be relax, relax, relax and don't buy a full curriculum.

Given that you don't like what your kids are learning in school and I can't blame you there, it might be best for you and your family.


Quoting TJandKarasMom:

Thank you!

I totally agree about the socializing part of it.  I know it must get annoying to hear it questioned, but I do wonder not being in that situation first hand.  But I also know my kids don't have the friendships I would like them to, they don't have time (aside from my son now being allowed to talk during lunch) to talk with their 'friends.'  And my daughter has had so many issues, girls are just mean!

I guess my biggest thing is what they are learning.  I don't like the things the schools skip over, or some of the things they encourage.  I don't like what my kids learn on the bus or the playground.  I don't like the distrcations in the classroom, all kinds of them.

I wonder if spending more time with them would reduce the friction between me and my daughter, she needs more one on one time and I just don't have the time to give it to her when 7 hours a day are spent in school, then we have dance or basketball, homework, dinner, showers, etc.  I am considering working a different job, I only make $10/hr for 180 days a year, I could probably make the same working in the grocery store evenings year round. 

While my son is happy in school, I don't feel like he is learning anything academically, and he is learning things I would rather him not learn at this point. 


This isn't something I am considering lightly.  I have been considering it for years.  And the more I learn, the more I want to do it.


Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I think if your son is happy and you need to work, homeschooling doesn't make sense for you at this time.

Your daughter needs some extra help but maybe not from you since y'all yell at one another. There is no reason to keep doing that same thing. Maybe your husband or someone else could help her.

Socialization is not an issue either way and I'm going to expound a bit on it because I get sick of hearing about it. Our big problem was limiting socialization so we could focus on what we needed to do. There were so many choices and activities and these were (unlike regular school), all ages and all kinds of people, not limited to tiny class periods.

When my kids went to public school they weren't allowed to "talk" during P.E., lunch or pick up and recess was gone by the third grade. Some socialization that is and yet kids think they are "good friends" with other peer age kids simply because they are in the same class. That's like thinking your co-workers are your friends. KWIM?





Bleacheddecay
by Leader on Mar. 19, 2013 at 3:45 PM

Sorry to hear that it's harder in your area. We did some sports, martial arts, girl scouts, boy scouts, park days, field trips, sleep overs, play dates and much more.


Quoting AutymsMommy:


I agree (with all of it, but especially the highlighted).

The one thing I do not agree on - socialization. At least in my area, I've had to really *try* for social activities where my children can actually make friends - most sports and other activities are very structured and do not allow for much free time to make friends (like my dd's ballet class). The best bet, in my opinion, for open socialization is to join a homeschool support group with unstructured "park days" or something similar - where they kids can simply play with eachother.

Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I think if your son is happy and you need to work, homeschooling doesn't make sense for you at this time.

Your daughter needs some extra help but maybe not from you since y'all yell at one another. There is no reason to keep doing that same thing. Maybe your husband or someone else could help her.

Socialization is not an issue either way and I'm going to expound a bit on it because I get sick of hearing about it. Our big problem was limiting socialization so we could focus on what we needed to do. There were so many choices and activities and these were (unlike regular school), all ages and all kinds of people, not limited to tiny class periods.

When my kids went to public school they weren't allowed to "talk" during P.E., lunch or pick up and recess was gone by the third grade. Some socialization that is and yet kids think they are "good friends" with other peer age kids simply because they are in the same class. That's like thinking your co-workers are your friends. KWIM?





TJandKarasMom
by Welcome Squad on Mar. 19, 2013 at 4:41 PM

The biggest reason is really so I can have more of a say in their education and so I can spend more time with them.

I am afraid of the way schools are heading and what teachers are being required to teach.  I question so much of our curriculum in kindergarten and have put my education on hold because I am not sure I want to spend so much money on a MEd when I may end up hardly using it.  My intent was to teach in a public school, but seeing the things I have seen over the past few years I really question if that is the career I want.

Thank you for the advice, from what I am reading, I don't imagine I would buy a full curriculum right away.  I would try to do a lot on my own (that's the teacher in me anyway...I worry that I will overplan, and will need to remind myself often to relax!)  I feel like with a good support group (there is local one that seems very good) and with my husband on board, I think I can do it.  We won't make a decision until this summer, I don't want to make huge changes in the middle of a school year.  But now is the time for me to consider what I plan to do in the fall for myself job-wise, and for my kids school-wise. 

I think what I would do ideally is still have them attend school for a subject or two, then they can still see some of their friends, and be part of a classroom on some level.  Then I would teach most at home, and also look at the virtual learning academy in our state, have some extra curricular activities, and some group things as well.  I feel like there are so many options, it will be hard to be a complete failure at it ;)  I will just have to take some time getting us all used to it and finding the right way to do things.


Quoting Bleacheddecay:

If you can make some nights or weekends arrangement for work, and share with your husband the homeschooling it might work for you. Of course a lack of sleep might not help your patience and you will need plenty of that at such a change. If I could give any new homeschooler advice it would be relax, relax, relax and don't buy a full curriculum.

Given that you don't like what your kids are learning in school and I can't blame you there, it might be best for you and your family.


Quoting TJandKarasMom:

Thank you!

I totally agree about the socializing part of it.  I know it must get annoying to hear it questioned, but I do wonder not being in that situation first hand.  But I also know my kids don't have the friendships I would like them to, they don't have time (aside from my son now being allowed to talk during lunch) to talk with their 'friends.'  And my daughter has had so many issues, girls are just mean!

I guess my biggest thing is what they are learning.  I don't like the things the schools skip over, or some of the things they encourage.  I don't like what my kids learn on the bus or the playground.  I don't like the distrcations in the classroom, all kinds of them.

I wonder if spending more time with them would reduce the friction between me and my daughter, she needs more one on one time and I just don't have the time to give it to her when 7 hours a day are spent in school, then we have dance or basketball, homework, dinner, showers, etc.  I am considering working a different job, I only make $10/hr for 180 days a year, I could probably make the same working in the grocery store evenings year round. 

While my son is happy in school, I don't feel like he is learning anything academically, and he is learning things I would rather him not learn at this point. 


This isn't something I am considering lightly.  I have been considering it for years.  And the more I learn, the more I want to do it.


Quoting Bleacheddecay:

I think if your son is happy and you need to work, homeschooling doesn't make sense for you at this time.

Your daughter needs some extra help but maybe not from you since y'all yell at one another. There is no reason to keep doing that same thing. Maybe your husband or someone else could help her.

Socialization is not an issue either way and I'm going to expound a bit on it because I get sick of hearing about it. Our big problem was limiting socialization so we could focus on what we needed to do. There were so many choices and activities and these were (unlike regular school), all ages and all kinds of people, not limited to tiny class periods.

When my kids went to public school they weren't allowed to "talk" during P.E., lunch or pick up and recess was gone by the third grade. Some socialization that is and yet kids think they are "good friends" with other peer age kids simply because they are in the same class. That's like thinking your co-workers are your friends. KWIM?







Nikah2006
by Welcome Squad on Mar. 20, 2013 at 12:17 PM

I am confused you are a education major to teach other people children, but you are afraid to teach yor own and feel you won't do a good job ??????

TJandKarasMom
by Welcome Squad on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:09 PM
Good point. I am always afraid I'm not doing the best I can for them, I always want to be a better mom and a better person in general.

I should remind myself that I am viewed as very competent at educating other children, I should be able to educate my own children. Thank you for making that point to me.


Quoting Nikah2006:

I am confused you are a education major to teach other people children, but you are afraid to teach yor own and feel you won't do a good job ??????


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)