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Another bad day...

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 3:09 PM
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 I'm sure you ladies are going to get tired of me complaining lol....

Yesterday a note came home in Jerry's folder with several things on it including drop-off/pick up times.  Jerry's school day is from 8:30am-2:30pm Mon-Fri.  I have always picked him up about 10 minutes early to allow for time to talk to the teacher about his day.  If you read my previous post you know that that is no longer allowed, so I have been picking him up in the lobby at 2:30.  The note that came home yesterday says"

P. M.- * Note new time- In the interest of safety and to help eliminate confusion, students should be picked up no earlier than 2:40.

That's just how it's written.  Ok well my daughter goes to middle school and her day runs from 8:00am-3:05pm.  The lines at her school are INSANE and if you don't get there by about 20 minutes to 3 then you are going to be at the end of that line, which doesn't move quickly.  Waiting is not Jerry's strong point, and while I am usually able to keep him happy, sometimes he is really tired or cranky for whatever reason and he cries and screams the whole time.  So the earlier I can get Allysa picked up and we can head home the better for everyone...

So I went in this morning and told the director I needed to pick Jerry up at 2:30 and asked if she would have him ready.  She asked why and I told her because I need to pick up my daughter at 3:05.  She asked if this would be every day and I said yes.  She then said well step in my office so we can talk about this.  That's where things went bad.  Long story short, it got kind of ugly.  I wasn't prepared for a meeting, and she started asking about why it is so important to me to walk him to class etc etc etc and I told her how I felt and she tried to make me seem like an uncooperative parent.  She said that other ppl have things to do in the afternoon and other ppl are going to be at the end of the line and what I just don't want it to be me ever??  That took me off gaurd and since I am very emotional (I start crying easily) I told her that I was going to leave before I got upset.  She said you are already past upset.  So I said ok well I am going to leave before I start crying and she said well I'm sorry you are going to cry and I'm sorry that you feel like you are being pushed out of the school.  I doubted her sincerity so I asked if she was really sorry or just saying that to appease me?  She said that was a rude thing for me to say.  I told her that Jerry's school day ends at 2:30 and I will be there to get him at 2:30.  She agreed but said she wanted me to think about following the rule if the lines at the middle school begin to get shorter as the year goes on and I find that I can deal with things just fine. 

So much for long story short lol.  There was more said, but I am on my way out the door to get my boy so I'll have to share later.  I have been upset again all day.  It just shouldn't be this way.  I only want to pick my kid up at the end of the day. 

by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 3:09 PM
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by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:14 PM
I am so sorry. She sounds like a real b$&@. She seems to be trying to let everyone know that she's in charge. I hope things will get better and that you won't have to deal with her very often. Is Jerry at least enjoying his class?
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by Leslie on Aug. 20, 2011 at 10:59 AM

 Thanks for the support Sharon.  :)  How is Tim today?

Yes actually Jerry seems to be doing well in his new class!  His teacher is good with communicating even though I never see her.  We have been writing daily in his communication notebook and she even called me at home last Wed night because she knew I was wanting to talk with her.  Yesterday she sent home a class schedule so the parents will know what our children are doing throughout the day, a marocca Jerry had made as his art project this week and she also sent some pics that she had taken through the week!  How cool is that?  He seems really happy in all the pics!  :)  He is always happy when I pick him up too.  His class will be working on colors this week and I am supposed to send some small things that can be attached to index cards that represent colors (sticky note, paper clip, button etc.).  This week they will be working on blue, red, yellow, pink and green.  The following week will be black, brown, white, purple and orange.  I have a good feeling about this teacher and I anticipate he will have a great year with her!  :)

by Valerie on Aug. 20, 2011 at 11:12 AM

I am glad that you like the teacher and jerry is doing well in his classes. But i agree with sharon sounds like the director is a real witch and trying to show people who is boss.


by on Aug. 20, 2011 at 11:29 AM

I'm glad things are going well for Jerry at school this year.  I agree with the others, the director was being witch and just wanted you to acknowledge that she is the one in charge and in control.  I can't imagine that picking him up at dismissal time would hurt his education.  There was a mother at the elementary school that picked up her two kids (5th grade and 1st grade) five minutes early four days a week.  She said that they had after school activities and she couldn't afford to get stuck in the school traffic.  Her kids always had 36 tardies/leave early on their report cards, which meant although they had perfect attendance - they would never get the awards.  She didn't care and the school just had to accept that she was going to do that.  I picked up my daughter 5 minutes early once a week for a dance lesson.  She was in 3rd grade at the time, but I found that if I picked her up at regular time - I was always late for the lesson.  I paid too much for her dance solo, so I just pulled her early each week.  I don't think her education suffered.  

I agree with the director that  the line at the middle school might get better, but I doubt by much.  I know that at our middle school the parents are in line about 20 or so minutes before school is released.  

by Patty on Aug. 20, 2011 at 5:42 PM

UGH!  Seriously, Leslie, I just want to punch the school director!  I understand the need for rules, but they can't actually KEEP him from you.  That's called kidnapping.  I know it doesn't make you feel any better, but I got a "talking to" from our principal on Thursday because I parked my car and went to go wait where I used to pick up Stephen last year.  Apparently, in the afternoons, I have to get in line.  Ok fine, but no one told me that.

There was a boy in Stephen's class last year (and he's in the other pre-k class this year), and his sister was in pre-k at a different elementary school, because she wasn't special needs...  The district refused to let her put all of her kids at teh same school, and so she was always having to pick up ONE of them about 10 minutes early every day.  Sometimes that's just the way things are, and schools have to deal with it.

by Leslie on Aug. 21, 2011 at 8:58 AM

 Thank you everyone for the support.  I love this group and I had a feeling you all would understand.  She agreed to "let" me pick him up at 2:30 "since it upsets me so much".  I was talking to a friend last night that asked about a school handbook that states the rules, you know like you would get at public school.  There isn't one that I'm aware of.  All I was given is the IDEA parent rights printouts, which I have looked over and can't find anything that would help me...  It seems like they are able to just add things and throw them at us at will...

I'm sorry you got a talking to Patty.  :(  It's kind of the same thing ya know, it's not the rule exactly that's so upsetting, it would just be nice to have a heads up on this kind of thing.  Anytime I want to talk with his teacher or therapists in person I need to go through the front desk to make an appt.  During our meeting I told the director that I don't have a problem with his teacher, even though I am not allowed to visit his class ever, she has been very good with communicating with me.  I have a problem, rather, with the way things have been done this year.  She said there may be times that I'll be invited to his classroom (apparently I need to be invited lol).  And she said so it's just me you have the problem with?  I said yeah, pretty much.  She said she is sorry I feel such animosity towards her and it hurts her feelings that I come in with such an attitude because she has bent over backwards for my child.  I told her I have bent over backwards for the school and that parents are just as much a part of the school as the students and staff.  (Allysa and I have volunteered at the parent sponsored flea market three years in a row to raise money for the new school and last year we even held our own bake sale.  I have volunteered throughout the year to price items for the flea market and have collected and dropped off boxes for moving. I have even helped unload the busses on occasion when I happened to be there and saw that they could use an extra hand).

I feel awful and obviously I am still upset.  Ladies, honestly, do you think I am an uncooperative parent?  Am I causing trouble unneccesarily?  Should I just sit back and shut up?  Please let me know your opinions.  I really need your input either way..

Hugs to all from Me  

by Lorna on Aug. 21, 2011 at 9:05 AM

Leslie, can you find an advocate to meet with you and the school.  Have you done a planning meeting yet?  If not, then I suggest you request one ASAP.  It sounds like the director is trying to be a 'big shot' now there is a new building. 

At least it sounds like you have a really good teacher! 

by Leslie on Aug. 21, 2011 at 9:13 AM

 Hi Lorna  :)  What is a planning meeting?  Are you talking about his IEP meeting? 

by Lorna on Aug. 22, 2011 at 5:50 PM

Quoting peasntatersmom:

 Hi Lorna  :)  What is a planning meeting?  Are you talking about his IEP meeting? 

Yes, but we call them Personal Plan Meetings here.

When you have a special needs child, it is like floating in the ocean. You will have highs when you ride the top of the wave and move forward and lows when the wave crashes over you and sucks you back. As you are riding a low wave of sadness, frustration & disappointment, just keep in mind the next wave will take you back up and move you forward once more.

Condutive Education Information Sharing at:

by on Aug. 29, 2011 at 11:46 AM

I am so upset for you...seriously! I have Sams PT's phone number, i call her all the time (usually to tell her something exciting that he did). I cant imagine what it will be like when he turns three and ages out of this program and into the public preschool. I would die if i had to leave him at the door, and wasnt welcomed in the classroom without being "invited". I will certainly be looking into that!

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