New to group - daycare issues

[paradise924]

DD is 3 and will be 4 in March. She is not potty trained although I have tried everything for the past 8 or 9 months. She talks well and is intelligent. But she is strong willed, hyper active, stubborn, demanding and rude to me. She usually doesn't eat by herself either, needs to be fed like an infant most things.

I have been working for 2 weeks and put her in a daycare/preschool all day. She seems to be doing ok there except she starves herself for the 7 hours she is there cause no one will feed her. I don't need to work...just doing it for a change. Should I quit? Most of my paycheck goes to the school.

[marklorna]

I would start by feeding her easy to eat finger foods.  Physically put the food in her hand and show her that she can feed herself.  Then give her time to eat.  If she is 3, intelligent and talks well, she probably has figured out that if she refuses to eat, then mommy will panic and give her lots of attention and feed her.  Don't let food become a big deal.  If she doesn't eat, then shrug your shoulders and tell her that she must not be hungry - then leave the food where she can get at it.  It will not hurt her to miss a few meals as long as she continues to drink water.  Stop feeding her like a baby.  If this doesn't help, then you need to get her to a feeding clinic and have some professional help as she is missing out on a basic development skill.

[sayres]

I had a motif difficulty getting my ds to potty train. A friend suggested the book "the potty training journey" by Judith Coucouvanis. It wasn't a miracle but it stopped me from worrying it let me know that he would potty train.