Tween TitansTween Titans / General Discussion

  • Search this Group:
Advanced Search

Keep up with discussion in the "Tween Titans" group through your e-mail, or join in the conversation yourself!

Join CafeMom Today (It's free and easy!) Already a member?

Jealousy

bleumonster

posted to General Discussion in Tween Titans
on Nov. 4, 2009 at 12:08 PM

  • 4 Replies
  • 69 Total Views

My daughter is 11 and she can get so jealous of her younger (7) brother. Last night he came and sat in my lap and I cuddled him so she gave me the pouty face and said you don't love me. As if lol. Then when he went to brush his teeth tried to get me to come over there. Now as soon as he finished brushing his teeth, I was going to go into his room and scratch/massage his back for our bedtime routine so I didn't come over. You would have thought that I had said I hate her lol. After I got him down I came and snuggled with her. She is taller than me and almost as big so she can't exactly sit in my lap anymore lol. Then when it was time for her to go to bed, I scratched and massaged her back too (which she doesn't always want anymore), Also whenever I am hugging my son or saying I love you etc, she says "But you love me more right?" Or if I am doing anything with him, she has to get in the act, although the opposite doesn't usually happen. He doesn't care when I am loving on her. Do you have any jealous tweens in your house?

Kim  

Written by on Nov. 4, 2009 at 12:08 PM

Replies:


  • melodyev
  • by on Nov. 4, 2009 at 12:15 PM

  • Wow. Is that a new thing? My 12 yr old acts a little jealous sometimes, but it has mainly been my 9 yr old, who has been the baby and now is having some issues with not being the baby anymore. After a month, he's getting better about it. Did something happen for your daughter to get jealous or feel like you love your son more? I always tell my kids I love them the same amount, there are no favorites.


    Birth Announcements


  • bleumonster
  • by on Nov. 4, 2009 at 12:36 PM

  • Well yes but my kids are adopted. I have had them since they were 4 and 8 but I just adopted my daughter last year when she was 10 and my son this year, a week after his 7th birthday. (Yes they are bio siblings, its a long story as to why I had to adopt them separately.) It started to show up a bit last year but has only really reared itself in the last few months. She is also jealous when I show any attention to my nieces that are close to her age but she isn't jealous of my 2 y/o nephew and almost 2 y/o niece.

    Kim  

  • emilyrosenj
  • by on Nov. 5, 2009 at 11:27 AM

  • Do you think she could be afraid that one day you will not want her anymore?  Knowing that they are adopted, it seems like more of a fear issue to me that she doesn't want him to take her place.

    Margaret
    Check out my blog: http://www.njemilyroseathome.blogspot.com/

  • PinkLight
  • by on Nov. 6, 2009 at 10:52 AM

  • Maybe the jealousy is a good thing. It sounds like she really wants to bond with you and is insecure about you're being there for her. Who could blame her? Attachment issues with these children are complicated, but it's so much better if they can attach versus the opposite. I would start a ritual with her that's age appropriate and special. It could be picking her up from school and having lunch together once a week or going to get manicures monthly. I'd love to hear your story sometime. I have an 11 year ds that we've had for almost 7 years. We will probably get his younger brother sometime in the spring.

Only CafeMom members can reply to this post.

Join Group


PinkLight
Tween Titans: General Discussion

Around CafeMom

Check out some of the most popular topics today in Answers:

Advertisement
Advertisement

© 2009 CMI Marketing, Inc. All rights reserved.