my 13year old daughter is lying so much

[smilelove]

i haven't been here in a long time. but my daughter is starting to bother me. its her lying. how do you try to change this? an how long does this last? does it go away  or am i in for a long trip. she lies about little things. she is not keeping up with her chores. she has been in detention twice at school already.  Ive taken all her privilege'saway what is there left to do? she had a cell phone i shut it off. oh an she doesn't apologize for nothing. is that normal? example the lying or one she accidently knocked y house plant over ( hurt my feelings) but she didnt even apologize about it.

 

smilelove

[KimmyPoo]

well my 12y/o son doing the same.. i have no idea when its going to stop... Let me know when u find out.. BUT good luck sweetie i hope things get better soon..

[smilelove]

thanks anyway.  maybe we can swap situations that we deal with, with them an share ideas

[mommyto6girls]

I wish I could help, but my 11 y/o daughter is the same. It's driving me insane.

[chocolatethundr]

I believe it all starts with little lies.  Based on experiences with my girls ( 11 and 12), I look for the signs.  It could be how they hold their mouth to the pitch  of their voices and I call them on it, right on the spot.  I also remind them it is not good to lie to their parents because you want to be able to trust them.  I give them examples and scenarios so they will know things may not work in their favor.  It has cut down the lies tremendously and now they will come and say mama I lied about so and so and I ask the question why.  Sometimes they say I don't and other times they say I thought you would be mad at me or get mad at me.  Now the kids will check each other about the lying so I know they understand and get what I say.  I also don't lie to them or in front of them. You don't want to send mix signals.  I find if you are honest with the kids and stress that as a point you will get that in return.  This not something that happened overnight so it will not be fixed overnight.  It will take time and just be patient and persist. 

[NotTwilightBell]

Hello(:, This is Sinea. I am on my moms Cafemom/ I am also 13. I was reading this, to see how you adults think. Heres a tip on your situation;; She doesn't like being told what to do. I know this is strange for you, but when you stop trying to be so harsh on her, and stop taking away her things, it will stop. I learned my lesson of what being irresponsible can cause. Tell her, if she keeps this up she won't ever get to be in her dream job, and she will be a slacker. Everything at our age is helping us become a good person. I hope I helped, even the tiniest bit.

-Sinea

[jns131]

12 year old DD 7th grader here. She has been caught in two lies already. I figure the police will get involved eventually. This is what I keep telling her. She loves to skate and loves to dance. I told her this will all end if she is ever caught in a major lie and never tells the truth for once. We have warned her and right now we are trying to ignore her when she does. Maybe this might deter her. Good luck.

[tntzmom79]

I'm almost releaved to see I'm not the only person going through this, but it feels so crappy to be disrespected all of the time.  I have an 11 year old daughter that's lying.  She, also, lies about some of the smallest dumbest stuff.  I've also taken away stuff & get no response from her at all.  I mean she doesn't like it, but I don't like being lied too.  I feel all of your pain.

[monshine2]

It's the age... They all do it - Some more than others. I told my daughter it's easier on her and everyone if she just tell the truth from the beginning. I will ALWAYS find the truth out - It may take awhile but I will find out and when I do it will be on! haha
Is she into sports or anything? If so, maybe taking that away for a while will help because she will miss it. If she's not involved, maybe get her involved that way she's being active and filling some time with an activity with other kids her age. My DD is involved with softball and helps keep her out of trouble. Just an idea... 

[homefirst]

Hi. New to this site. I need somewhere to vent and get advice. My 13 year old step daughter is a challenge. She also lies. I met her when she was 5. She lied back then-even about silly things. The lying is a problem..but the bigger problem is her mean and angry attitude. She is always mad, angry, and down right mean. She changes the mood of our entire house. It is taking a toll on all of us. her own mother called us at the end of the summer and asked if she could live with us full time- in stead of 50/50-as she couldnt handle her anymore. That never happened - thank goodness. I don't think I could handle her full time. As I am the "step mom" - I am limited on what I can say or do. If I say anything-she says I am picking on her. Truth is... she needed somone to "pick on her" long ago. Everyone is so afraid of putting her in a mood- she is aloud to behave- badly, rudely, bitchy. I am tires of it. It is not how I am raising my daughter and really don't like being a part of it. She has no friends. Even our friends think she is "difficult". HELP!

[smilelove]

counseling . may help she  may need to talk to someone other than family around her. my daughter was mean to a lot of her friends , family.and i couldn't understand why she was so mean. she has lots of friends though. her counselor said she was fine. but my daughter like the fact that she can talk to someone other than me. its helps with that part (anger). make sure you mention it to her mom first.