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is my 12 yr old son normal

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:36 AM
  • 9 Replies

my son says he hangs with both boys and girls at school,but i only see text messages and phone calls from girls.  whenever a he is invited somewhere,most of the boys dont show up and he's the only one there in a group of girls.  im so scared right now, just want him to be a 'normal' boy.

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 9:36 AM
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by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 12:33 PM

Hi, There! I would not think your boy is not a regular 12 year old...has there been any changes at school lately, or have you moved recently? these are factors that may have your son drawn to grils, remember girls tend to talk more and perhaps he can relate somewhat easier if he's going through any changes. Also, there are phases a boy goes through, discovering and dealing with all hormonal changes teens have at this point and it does not necesarily mean anything else but discovering and experimenting his sexuality. Have to talked to him or questioned as to why would he usually be the only guy among the girls? I know it is a touchy subject but perhaps he needs to clear things up or open up to someone and if he sees you care and not judge his actions now, he will do so with you, who I am sure love him much and wish for him to be happy.

Good luck!

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:36 PM

When my daughter was in 5th grade (10th Bday) she invited a few boys to her birthday party at the skating rink.  One we knew was coming (he was one of her best friends) and then another mother actually asked me "are there going to be other boys there, or will Chris be the only one?"  I thought that was very interesting.  I guess maybe it puts pressure on them to be the only boy within a group of girls.  I never realized that. 

But, if your son doesn't seem to mind, I don't see the big deal.  When you say "normal" are you talking about fitting in (and not being dis-included) with the guys or are you talking about sexuality? 

If youre worried about him fitting in, maybe you could invite the guys over to your house or to an event w/you.  Try to get him involved.

If you're worried about sexuality, I'm not sure I'd worry about that right now and just because he hangs around girls.

Have you asked your son how he feels about it?  Is he comfortable?   Does he like it that way, or would he rather there be more boys to hang with?

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 5:59 PM

Yes your son IS normal! 

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 6:48 PM

Continue to love him unconditionally--whether he seems "normal" to you or not. 

by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 7:56 AM

Growing up my husband had friends who were mostly girls.  Even in high school.  Weird to me lol.  He was just one of the girls.  He understood them.  He was also raised by a single mom with a little sister lol.  Now he has a wifey & 2 daughters!  His whole life surrounded by females LOL!  Maybe it made him better able to understand this strange creature God created as a gift to man.  Maybe it  he learned a bit about how 2 care for us!

Just my 2 cents ; )

Dennell White...

 ...outta here ; )

by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 8:09 AM

Your son is a smart child--girls are probably more interesting because they're more social and talk about feelings and emotions. He's may even be seeking a younger version of you.

My ds is also 12 and and half way through puberty. About a year ago, he was interested in all things girl. He wanted to try on girls clothes (especially skating dresses). I was concerned, however, my dh had it right. He thought that our son just wanted to know about girls and this was one of his experiments. It has long since passed.

As long as this is a nice girl and you like her, I wouldn't worry about it.

by on Jan. 26, 2010 at 9:23 AM

I agree.  There's nothing abnormal about it.  In fact, my 11 dd has a friend like that.  He doesn't do sleepovers or anything, but a friend of mine (her dd and mine are good friends) gave the kids a huge Halloween party and he was the only boy there.  He wasn't bothered by it and neither were we.  (I helped chaperone.)  I don't really see anything wrong with it.  I had guy friends throught high school and college that were some of my best friends, and yes, we really were only friends.  

by on Feb. 11, 2010 at 5:01 AM

Oh sure! He sounds totally normal to me.  My son is similar. He has a few tight guy friends but also a lot of female friends, too.  It's ok. :)

by on Feb. 11, 2010 at 6:04 AM

Sounds to me like he is quite normal. My daughter is 12 and up until very recently all of her friends were boys. I wouldn't worry about anything. Add to that my son who's 18 a majority of his friends are girls. If that is who he is comfortable with, that's okay. He will also find his group of friends that are boys.

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