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10 year old with too much attitude!!! Geez!!

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:01 PM
  • 15 Replies

Sorry if this post is long, but I just posted one about my son in another group and figured I might as well keep the ball rolling and look for advice on my 10 year old daughter.  I think that there is always one child that is more of a handful than the others and for me it's my daughter Marina!  Good Lord, the girl drives me nuts.  She has to have the last word in no matter what, even when she is being punished by being grounded or no tv or no cell phone.  Her biggest answer is "I don't care".  I tell her all the time that if she would not answer back her punishment wouldn't be as long  as it is all the time.  She has to have things her way or no way.  So I usually tell her then it's no way and that I am the parent and she is the child and she needs to remember that.  Everything is a fight, from brushing her hair to dressing to where she wants to sit in the car.  She doesn't really care about how she looks, which is fine but at least look neat.  I want to know if she is a typical 10 year old and does anyone else have these kind of issues.  We usually end up arguing but in the end she'll come up to me and give me hugs and kisses and tells me she's sorry.  Most of the time but not all the time.  That's when I explain to her for the umpteenth time that she has to learn to control herself and that she has a younger sister and an older brother that want to do things but don't get their way all the time.  For the most part the other two just give into her so they don't have to argue. That annoys me big time, I don't want my kids to constantly argue but I don't want her to feel like she's getting over on them either.  She is a good girl but when that attitude comes out, watch out!  She's also is the one that likes to dish it out but can't take it.  She is by no means spoiled and I can be as stubborn as she is but I just don't want her to feel like she can get her way all the time.  Any ideas on how to cope with this? I hope I don't sound like some enraged mom, I'm just frustrated with trying to make her see that the attitude needs to stop.

 

~Damaris

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
KRMsMom
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 5:20 PM

I'm anxious to see the replies you receive.  The description you give of your daughter is very much like my daughter, except that she is an only child and is somewhat spoiled. 

frustrated

EllieB83
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 1:44 AM

I am so there! LOL  My 9 year old, Ava, is pretty much the same way.  We are hitting heads a lot lately thanks to those prepubescent hormones!  I try to remember what it was like, but it's hard.  I do something that really annoys her, but it works.  I act like she does..lol.  She can be so angry and mouthy, but as soon I start acting like her, she realizes how silly she is being and we are fine....until the next melt down.  I think they are just at that age where they are trying to gain some control.  I'm not sure there is much help for them for a few more years! LOL

newlywedstepmom
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 8:08 AM

My 11 year old definitely has a major attitude! She can be very moody and act so bossy sometimes.  I am glad it usually doesn't last too long and she is back to being happy and alot more agreeable.  I think its just a stage but I hope it is not one that lasts too long.

Mom2BKM
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 8:55 AM

Anyone ever read "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk?" I find it very helpful in communicating w/my 10 YO. The advice in it doesn't always help, but sometimes it does.

When my DD gets mouthy or disrespectful, I tell her in normal tones that she's making me really, really angry, that  I'm going to my room, so that I don't lose my temper and start going off on her too. I feel like it does two things. 1) It prevents me from losing my temper and yelling at her; I really believe, through my job as  a fifth-grade tutor and a mom, that yelling at a kid just makes the kid angrier and  2) It shows her that you can express your anger w/someone but not be disrespectful.    We talk later after we both calm down,and one of the things we address is how to be respectful. I use this time as a sort of refresher course on what to do when you're angry w/someone. The thing I remind myself is that she's just a kid and is still learning,and she needs me to help her. I just hope that these "lessons" sink in eventually, hopefully soon! ;0)

PinkLight
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 9:28 AM

My 12 yr old son is just like your daughter. If I ground him, he'll try and bargain with me and say "I'll do that if you do so and so." He has no concept of a parent/child relationship. This isn't new, however, and after 7 years, I have very little hope that I can change him. He's only gotten mouthier now that hormones are in the picture. I think summers are much worse--I really miss the 8 hour break when school's in session. I will be the mom doing cartwheels down the driveway on Sept. 7th!

lilysmom606
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 10:19 AM

Wow!  My daughter and your daughter could be twins.  I thought that my daughter behaved like this because she is an only child.  Thanks for validating my feelings.  With that said, I pray a lot.  I think we as mother's of girls are dealing with attitudes long before we did ourselves. 

 I tell my daughter when she acts up that I am visually recording and then I walk away.  When she asks for something I tell her no and reminder of what happened previously.  We have also set up a monetary system in which she earns a quarter each day when she behaves and does chores.  BUT, the money is given back each time she misbehaves.  So far, she owes me.

I wish I could help more.  I also recomend (and need to read again myself) the book Have a New Kid By Friday by Kevin Leman.

nngmommy83
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 11:45 AM

I think from reading all the replies that it could just be a hormonal thing lol My DD will be 10 this August and is also doing this and she's started rolling her eyes at me!! oh heck no!!

DamarisT
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 12:52 PM

Well I am certainly glad that I am not alone in this!  I was really starting to get worried, LOL! We'll just have to keep posting and comparing notes, until one of us can see a light at the end of the tunnel, LOL!!!  Thanks for the shares!

AmyB118
by on Jul. 13, 2010 at 1:08 PM

I have had this issue w/DD12. Most of the time when I get the "attitude" and call her out on it my answer from her is "Gosh - I was just kidding. WHat I can't kid anymore?"  At that point I tell her that she won't talk to me like I am another 12 yr old and that I am still the adult in the relationship......She usually puts it back into check then but if it continues she goes to her room.....could lose the cell phone or facebook......or both. She knows it's her choice to act that way and suffer the consequences.  It's gotten better - not perfect but better

Mom2BKM
by on Jul. 14, 2010 at 9:04 AM

LOL, Pink Light! I feel the same way.

Last night DH got pre-teen attitude full-on from my 10 YO. He looks at me and says, "Is this common around here?" I couldn't hold back the laugh. Hello! Where ya beeen?!?

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