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My daughter has 2 personalities?

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2007 at 10:30 PM
  • 9 Replies
Alright I think you ladies might have some advice here.  My daughter is 8 going on 15... seriously she has an attitude with everyone EXCEPT FOR ME.  She is terror to my husband and my best friend (who lives with us).  She is always mouthing off to them.  I get home and she turns back into the sweet little girly that I know her as.  What gives?  I just don't know what to do.  We punish her and she just keeps coming back for more and more.  At this point she'll be grounded till summer.  Can someone help me get my sweet girl back... for everyone's sake I beg you give me some advice before she turns into a full time mean girl.

Thanks in advance

Butterfly hugs and kisses... Tara
by on Oct. 22, 2007 at 10:30 PM
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Replies (1-9):
by on Oct. 22, 2007 at 10:33 PM
my daughter is just the oppisit she is mean and disrespectful to me but everyone else tells me how sweet and polite and respectful she is and i ask them r u sure ur talking about my kid
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 8:57 AM
Yes she does have (even) more than 2 personalities! One she has with her friends. I think she is trying to find her identity and her place in her surroundings. It is a power struggle and she knows her boundries with you so for now you aren't being challenged.
I raised 4 girls, not an easy task. Heck, I wanted to strangle them all and then myself for having raised girls with such a mean side to them! I finally understood it wasn't me, it is hormones, outside influences and just part of growing up.
My thought is open a conversation and just listen. See where her thoughts are and what her struggles are, where her thoughts are at. What does she want to accomplish with the attitude? What does she feel she is missing if she acts differently? Treat her with the same attitude and see her reaction and talk about it.
Keep breathing! Myself, I struggled until they were out on their own.
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 6:59 PM
Stop grounding her.  Ignore her.  Feed her, clothe her, get her off to school.  Homework is her complete responsibility.  Don't let her do anything to hurt herself or someone else.  Don't talk to her.  Don't hug or kiss her.  She can get herself ready for bed or not go to bed at all.  You're not required to react to a brat.  I give her not even two days before she changes her tune.  If this doesn't work, take her to a child psychologist.  Or maybe do that first.  It's your choice.
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 9:45 PM
I am with the first reply. My 11 year old is sassy to me and the sweetest girl ever to her friends, our family, and complete strangers. Sorry that isn't really any help, but at least you know you aren't alone.
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 10:00 PM
Oh not alone at all!!!  I started cutting off all the "extras"  phone, computer, after school activities and once down to the bare bone of school, home and church she turned into the nicest girl.  Yes i am not clueless -I know she was only kissing up in order to get these things back.  But I just don't care why- I just wanted the results.  She started earning things back and attitude returned and we took stuff again.  We play this back n forth game and will likely be playing for a few years until one day it hits her that its just easier to be nice.  Was too funny...after a took every thing aways she gave me a list of things she learned while grounded and some make sense to me and some I just wonder about her hahah!  1. you can read a book in 2 days   2. that she has muscles--ya don't know-think she spent too much time stareing at her reflection, as that is all she had to do.  LOL!  Good luck! 
by on Oct. 24, 2007 at 11:05 PM

Thank God. I thought I was alone in this.

My daughter is 12. When I lived at home with my mom she treated me horribly. She would get up in my face and act like she was going to hit me. Then when my mom wasn't around she was great. As time went by (usually one month to another) she would switch. My mom was hated and I was the good one.

Recently (Labor Day) we moved to TN and living with my aunt and uncle. When I am around she is horrible to them. Has an attitude the whole nine yards. She refuses to listen to them at all. But when I am at work she is the perfect angel till she is asked to do something.

Monday I took her to school and she was horrible to my aunt and uncle. She told them that she didn't have to listen to them I was taking her in. Then Tuesday she was upset that I wasn't taking her in but was the best she had ever been since we moved here to my uncle when he took her to school and when she came home. It is amazing how the personality changes constantly.

by on Oct. 29, 2007 at 8:38 PM
My son Daniel is going through the same thing except the difference is that I'm a single mom so I am the only one that sees the many faces of my son through out each emotion. It's very frustrating when he gets mouthy and I just want to back hand him for his disrespect but then I remember that this is normal part of maturing and finding himself. I walk away and calm down and when I come back he's as sweet as sugar and outgoing. Sometimes I feel like he's worse than a girl going through puberty!!!!
by on Oct. 29, 2007 at 9:16 PM
OMG!!!    I'm not alone... LOL.. My 11 y/o daughter and my 14 y/o son talk to me like I was put on earth to "serve" them 24/7... Somedays are worse than others tho... I just keep to what I've said... and eventually they get over it... I'm guessin it's the age?? LOL... Good luck tho...
by on Oct. 29, 2007 at 9:28 PM
I feel so much better knowing that there are alot of you moms going through the same thing!!!!!!!  My 11 year old daughter constantly gives attitude to me, her father and brother (and anybody else for that matter)  She was told to do dishes tonight and you would have thought it was the end of her world!  It doesn't matter that you work your butt off to put a roof over their head and clothe and feed them.

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