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Tween Titans Tween Titans

When do you have "THE" talk?!?!

Posted by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 9:14 AM
  • 25 Replies
Ok, so I'm seeing all over tv about 11 yo being on birth control and I am starting to flip out. At 11 I didn't even know wht sex was! Then I think well my kids go to a little country school, so I don't have to worry yet. Then I think, ok that's just stupid reasoning! Her dad says that it's up to me cuz he isn't going to do it(he lives in England) and he's glad that I have to. So I was just wondering what everyone else thinks. What is the appropriate age?

AMANDA

Proud owner of the group: Relationships/Sex help and info

by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 9:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jewels64
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 10:54 AM
 I've got a child that loves learning, reading and research.  We explored the Am Girl book "The Care and Keeping of My Body" together when she was 8.  I've seen her reading it off and on since then.  She had friends who were developing early and I knew  if we didn't discuss this soon they would be sharing with her.  That brought on the natural questions about sex.   When she was 9 she was asking direct questions "What is sex exactly?"  After telling her "exactly" what it was her response was right on for her age ...."OOOO, Yuck!"  She is 10 now and has come back with questions.    I'm so glad I opened this line of communication early I just hope it continues into the teens. 

vickileolady4
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 12:39 PM
Halye is 10 and she has always sat in on "the talk" when her older sister (15) and i talked about it, I've always asked them if they had questions, cause the stork doesnt bring the babies!  Both of them have always come and asked questions about sex and what is happening to their bodies, and i have answered them to the best of my ability, (without laughing or turning red)!!  Cause my older daughter would tell Haley stupid things like when she turns 13yrs of age she will grow a penis, yeah, where do they come up with this stuff??!!LOL!!!  My mom never talked to me about sex, she always said if you do it i will kill u, Ok, 4 kids later!!  I dont want to be that mom.  I guess what i'm trying to say be open and honest and ask her questions as well, see how much they know before u talk.  Hope it helps.

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!
kidos
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 2:12 PM
well i think girls need to know sooner then boys because of there bodies  change faster and have so much more going on then boys do at this age...so for sure she should know everything once she starts having her period my kids go to a country school to here in TX and every year we have lots of girls ending up pregnant because they don't get sat down with and explained everything and most kids are walking around with false info not cool someone going to tell them it might as well be you so they have the right info...i know my oldest has come home just shaking her head saying where do they hear the stuff she doesn't understand because i have always told my kids the truth ...but ultimately its up to you ..hope this helps Brenda...
Froggy76
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 3:15 PM
I have a 12 years old daughter who has been asking questions for a few years now.  She "developed" sooner than the other girls her age so she started getting teased by some of the little boys.  I tried to explain without giving too much info but as we began talking I was amazed at how much she already knew.  I knew than that there was no going back. My little girl wasn't a little girl anymore. She was becoming a young lady.  WOW time flies!  Well, the bottom line is, I was young when I had her so I knew enough about sex and figured out the rest out on my own. I want her to understand now so that that there is no question about what it is or how it works.  Too many questions leads to too many experiments. I don't know about yall but sex is not something I want my 12 year old daughter experimenting with.  In the end she was grossed out but thankful that we had "the talk".  My advise is...Start early explaining a little at a time once her body starts changing because that's an open door  for both mother and daughter to discuss and ask lots of questions.
SexyLesboMom
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 6:57 PM
I teach Sex Ed and I believe that the earlier the better to begin to "talk" to your child about puberty and the changes they are going through, what they are feeling, and what they are hearing from their friends. Try and give them as many tools as you can to deal with sex and puberty and information that they may already be getting from the internet and tv, try to be calm and frank. I really don't think you will need to worry about birth control if you at least begin talking...
kristisa
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 10:46 PM
donovan is 11 now and in 4rth grade they had THE CLASS and when he came home i asked him if he and any q's he stated no please lets not talk about it i'm gonna hurl.

he has asked a few questions since aiden was born but still thinks its horribly unsanitary, the very idea! he says.(don's a little dramatic) there are some questions ( ex: how do you keep from getting stuck together?)  i just couldnt answer out of pure shock of the question. but honesty is the best way to go better they be informed than ignorant
howlercat
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 10:54 PM
I have already had the talk with my 10 yo step-daughter.  I found a couple of videos & a book at the library & we went over it together.  We dicussed everything from how she will develop to birth, birth control, std's, etc.  I also believe that girls need to know this pretty early & that it is important to keep the line of communication open at all times (which isn't easy when your the new mom).
mamabear79
by on Oct. 24, 2007 at 6:53 AM
Thank you EVERYONE for helping with this! Please keep the ideas rolling in! I am thinking it is about time, but she still seems so innocent that I hate to bring it up! lol I know, probably not as innocent as I think. My mom and I had the talk when I was like 16 and already having sex. All of this just scares me!!!!!

AMANDA

Proud owner of the group: Relationships/Sex help and info

tbskid
by on Oct. 24, 2007 at 6:58 AM
I don't think their is a magic age for the talk, for each child is different. I actually had the talk a few years ago when I was pregnant (she was 9). It seemed like the right time because she was asking a lot of questions. I answered them all in an age appropriate manner, giving her the answer without all the gory details LOL! Yes, it may feel like an uncomfortable thing to discuss, but you'd be surprised what she thinks she already knows or what she has already been told. It's best you get to her with the facts instead of her peers telling her God knows what! Good luck and try not to let it get you too nervous!
Chrokee
by on Oct. 24, 2007 at 7:08 AM
I dont think there is an approperate age, just an approperate time. I gave my daughter the period talk because shes been developing since last yr. Her class is watching the Hormone and body changes so called by many mothers sex ed video this yr at age 9. Which I DO want her to. I know I did not know what sex was till after I watched that video, or even had an idea. I think after that would be a great time to ask them what they think of what they seen at school, and just get it completely out in the open.

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