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When do you have "THE" talk?!?!

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Ok, so I'm seeing all over tv about 11 yo being on birth control and I am starting to flip out. At 11 I didn't even know wht sex was! Then I think well my kids go to a little country school, so I don't have to worry yet. Then I think, ok that's just stupid reasoning! Her dad says that it's up to me cuz he isn't going to do it(he lives in England) and he's glad that I have to. So I was just wondering what everyone else thinks. What is the appropriate age?


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by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 9:14 AM
Replies (21-25):
by on Oct. 29, 2007 at 8:13 AM
You don't have to tell them everything all at once. They are pretty good about leading the questions. I think the most important thing to think about is that you are opening up lines of communication that can save her from some pretty serious stuff later.

When my son was 10, I started hearing things on the playground that alerted me to the oncoming talk. I got a couple of books from the library (but frankly, the stuff available was pretty bad) and left them around the house for him to find. I also started boning up myself on how to talk about it.

I asked him once when he was watching a science channel show on the body if he wanted to know. He said no. About a month later, he asked what sex is and I asked him if he really wanted to know, he said no. A month later, he asked again, I asked him if he really wanted to know and he said yes, but as soon as I began, he ran out of the room. It took another three months when he started to hear things on the playground that didn't seem right. He asked for verification and I told him the thuth being very careful to not give too much and to let him ask questions. It worked and now he is asking questions every time he hears stuff on the playground. It has really helped him see that most of what he hears on the playground is garbage and he knows he'll get the right answer from me.

It's surprising how few parents are not doing this.

by on Oct. 29, 2007 at 11:14 AM
Our dd started asking when she was 6 & hasn't stopped.  Yes, 6 may seem young,but when you are expecting another child...curiousity does arise.  I kept it at her age level & when she would start to giggle, I would tell her that it was enough & when she was ready...I would tell her more.  She is now going to be 12 in 2 months & obviously, the subjects are getting more in depth. 

We are glad that we handled it this way because she is now in the 6th grade & taking sex ed in school.  The teacher of that is the counselor & she came home the other night & informed dh & I that the woman's body is the school & the man's sperm is the school bus.  I am sure you can figure where that lead to.  I am sorry, but in my own opinion....that's right up there with the baby patch, the stork  & the zipper on the mother's stomach where the baby comes out of. 

Once own opinion, if it can't be taught properly at the age range it is being taught to, then don't do it.  When I questioned the counselor about this, the response I got was...not every child knows the truth & they aren't sure if they can handle it.
by on Oct. 29, 2007 at 11:28 AM
The appropriate age is whenever you think your daughter will comprehend what you are saying toher. 
I didn't give my daughter "The Talk" because I've always talked with her. 
I dont' mean that was just sit and chat about sex, boys and periods.  Well, maybe.  I bring up the subject while we're driving, or sitting at home, or eating lunch. 
I bought her the American Girl books, too. and like a previous mom said, she will read them once in a while. (The Care and Keeping of Your Body, The Care and Keeping of Friends, and Starting Middle School)
She is 11 and has already started her period.  She got "buds" when whe was 9.
She marks her calendar and knows when to expect her next period.  Her backpacks and purses are all "stocked".
She watches tv, goes to movies so it's not like she hasn't ever heard of sex.
(and no, she doesn't got to movies without me - we don't bring her to R rated movies)
I don't think sex, boys, periods or life in general is something you talk to your kids about once and expect them to truly understand or grasp the importance of the issue. 
Keep the lines of communication open, dont' sugar coat it, and don't generalize it.  It is wha it is and nothing can change it. 
by on Oct. 29, 2007 at 12:14 PM
This isn't a fun age I've noticed. We are also from a small town and I can tell you for a fact if you don't tell her one of her friends will.  My daughter is ten and I have already had "the talk" with her. I was nine years old when I had my first period and I didn't want my daughter to be in shock over some-thing she didn't understand. This is a hard thing to do I know. I didn't want to tell my daughter too much but, I did want her to understand what was going to happen to her body. She still tells me it's not going to happen to her but, I am still prepared when it does
I also have 14 year old boy and had the same talk with him when he was 10.
by on Oct. 29, 2007 at 12:41 PM

I think girls should have the talk early. I know a lot of girls tend to mature faster than boys. I think that is where a lot of the problems are coming in. I think we as parents should teach our children before they get the wrong information from someone else.  I think a lot of children are learning the wrong things from other people their age.  "HE THAT WALK WITH WISE MEN SHALL BE WISE."

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