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How do I control it?

Posted by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 5:18 PM
  • 21 Replies

OK......I have a 9 yr old. She is a very good kid,polite,good in school but she has a freakin attitude problem with me! Sometimes she's really pleasnt but other times if I tell her to something or if something doesn't go her way,she gets so pissy. Sometimes she just gets that pissy look and that makes me so mad or just does that,,,"uhhh(w/ an attitude) Why can't she just be like "ok mom" ANd she knows how she acts just erks my nerves and makes me mad but she just continues on and on. The other day she wanted to buy something from target w/ her b-day money but I didn't have time to look around and I told her not right now. Well she got so mad and when she walked by I grabbed her arm just to tell her to chill and she started to scream(at the top of her lungs) "Get ogg me,owwww" I was so embarrased,she had never acted like that before and I wanted to beat the shit out of her,I didn't by the way,I didn't even lay a hand on her but boy did I want to. She acts so miserable sometimes. It's like nothing I do for her makes her happy. She even bitches about what we're having for dinner even though she'd be just happy eating @ grandma's house. Now my 5 yr old is starting to act just like her. I don't know what else to do.


by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 5:18 PM
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by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 5:28 PM
not sure if this will help you or not, but when my twins were that age (are 18 yrs now) and they acted like that...I too did not know what to do.

so instead of beating them (no we don't do that)  I decided that I would ignore them.  I mean I ignored them.  I didn't respond to their questions, I didn't look at them, sit in the same room, etc. 

  I remember one time, I was at my wits end because they were acting so "ungrateful" if you will, that I put them in the car, we drove to the Dairy Queen,  I ordered a huge ice cream for myself and nothing at all for them.  I ate the ice cream right in front of them in the car.!!!    (yes, this was extremely hard for me to do as I am not that kind of mom) and I clearly stated to my ungrateful girls that I DO NOT OWE THEM ANYTHING. 

  I explained how I do things for them because I love and care for them and I like to do nice things for them.    I said that I did not appreciate how they were acting and treating me.  I am a person and I have feelings too.   Well, it didn't take long at all for them to get this message.   they cried, I felt bad, but the bad times were gone.

Sometimes we gotta do things that shake up our kids but really doesn't hurt them.  Let me know what you do....I promise you it will work.
Best wishes....
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 5:28 PM
Do we share the same dd- WOW you just described my 12 year old dd to a T.
She loves the eye rolling, and telling me to do something with anger coming from her voice. I'm like Whoa wait a minute I am the parent you don't tell me what to do. Then tells me "NO" and screams it at times.  It will only get worse before it gets better. I got so tired of it last night I came up with a contract that says what she has to do or not do, and I in turn will let her continue with the extra stuff she does.

by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 8:31 PM
Thank you so much ladies. I will try the ignoring thing. She'll probably get more of the hint from me just not paying attention to her. Great advice. Oh by the way I never hurt,sometimes i want to though:)

by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 8:46 PM
believe it or not, but it almost sounds as though the hormones are raging in her and she is having what we call pms. My daughter was the same way at that age, she is now 11 and it seems to have subsided a bit. I am waiting for her period to start anyday now.  Ignoring did work......try that. I liked the idea of what the mom did with the ice cream thing. 
I work with midwives and spoke to them about my daugherts attitude and if it could be because hormones are raging....she told me yes, its very possible, so I pretty much chalked it up to that. WHen she does get out of hand, I become a drill sargent and get literally in her face and demand respect and scream like a drill sargent,,,,my mom gets a kick out of watching this unfold, but my daughter gets the point.   Good Luck
by on Oct. 23, 2007 at 9:21 PM

I have to tell you, after reading some of this stuff, I am SO releived that my daughter isn't this abnormal creature. My daughter is 11 going on 12. She started with her attitude around 9 going on 10! They start so much earlier - with everything! She too is happy, very polite, respectful one minuete, then the next she's mouthing off, and if something doesn't go her way, she gets mad, runs her mouth off, so we punish her, and then the tears come!!!! It's the same thing - a cycle! Her freinds are getting sick of her being punished. Her freinds are mostly all a year younger than  her. There not quite where she is right now, physcially or mentally in development, so they don't understand alot of things she's going through. They just switch on you, and go from being this little pleasant person, someone who you want to spend time with, to this THING.....I too have a 4 year old, and sometimes I hear her answering me a little snippy - and I have to look right at her and say "Don't you answer mommy like that, it is not nice" and it puts her back in her place, but as they get older it's a tougher battle. The only advice I have is to be consistant, and follow through with your words. Right now I have to go take a hair straightener away from my older one, because it told her she's done at 9pm and time for bed (she's horrible to wake up in the morning)
good luck moms

by on Oct. 24, 2007 at 8:24 AM
Another thing is, How am I supposed to punish her when we're always running around? We're always at softball or at my dad's or b-day parties on the weekends. It's like we're hardly at home. Should I just take something away from her? Make her sit in her room when we are home? Nothing seems like a punishment.She doesn't seem to mind that I took her nintendo DS away,the computer away and no watching tv in her room. She doesn't mind at all. What is her problem and how should I punish her?

by on Oct. 25, 2007 at 11:05 AM
Wow, I thought I was worried I was raising this horrible child and it looks from everything on here that my dd is Normal! yay!  Sorry I can't help you but if I ever figure it out I'll let ya know ;),
by on Oct. 25, 2007 at 4:28 PM
Hi I also have a 9 year old daughter and I am going through the same thing....she is wonderful at school, at friends houses...any where I am not..she doesnt listen...I have to tell her over and over again then she gets the attitude rolls the eyes shruggs the not sure what to do...she is this way with my husband as well. punishing only makes it worse with her puts her into a full blown tantrum....if you find any help pass it my you think its possibly the age....she is disagreeable about everything....her school clothes she gets them out at night but come morning they are not right so she throws a fit and has to change at least 3 more times.....refuses to let me bruxh her hair but yet she will not brush it so i have to make her let me and then she will only wear it down...she says we hate her which isnt is a real snot she even likes to take it out on her little sister im not sure where to turn...and like you my 6 year old is now trying her luck with me and i cant possibly go through this with another...i dont have the ttyl melissa....
by on Oct. 25, 2007 at 9:23 PM
They say it doesn't bother them and I believe that  they even convince themselves that it doesn't bother them however, it really does.  I have a 12yr old that actually stated to me that punishing just pisses all kids off and doesn't prove anything.  All that prove to me was being punished for a week really does hurt.  I will also tell you that ignoring works fantastic.  I recently tried it about 2weeks ago and she could not deal with me not talking to her she actually did not know what to do with her self. 
by on Oct. 26, 2007 at 1:56 AM
My almost 10 year old has a terrible attitude to me also might be just the age

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