are we being to mean?

[tomsjennabean]

Hello

I was wondering if this was wrong....

My SD 11 wanted to go to the school dance yesterday so we let her i gave her my $ to go.

then she wanted to go cosmic bowling which starts at 10pm and goes til 2 am. Now cosmic bowling is usually a bunch of drunken/high highschoolers and adults. So she comes home and asks DH he goes where are you gonna get money to go? (the cost is $13 plus food we are on a tight budget) shes says well we arnt gonna bowl we are just gonna go hang out (at 10pm????) then DH says what parent is going shes says they are dropping us off (then changes the story when he says NO) so then she asks if she can spend the night at her friends house (who shes had only problems with since 6th grade camp all school year) (also same group of friends going cosmic bowling) so he again says no. So she has about an hour crying fit then calls her other friend (who we know very well) to see if she can sleep there (all with talking with an attitude to DH) but he gave in and talks to friends mom and says yes (shes over there all the time) (now i would have just sent her to her room for crying like a fool and would have said no to everything) .....Now i was talking to a couple of my friends (not parents) they said we need to let her have a life and should have just let her go (shes always doing stuff with friends thats resonable for her age) (sleepovers,hang out at their houses /or ours, school dances etc.)

would you have let an 11 yr old go out that late. Are we being to mean?

[MIMIBRIE]

No not at all. Her behavior should not have been rewarded. And also IMO she's too young to be staying out that late. Sleep overs are fine but not being unsupervised and out that late are unacceptable. It's pretty much letting her know that if she throws a fit she gets her way

[Lorelai_Nicole]

I say you are absolutely right. For one thing, she didn't deserve a night out with that attitude. Also, she's eleven. She doesn't need to be "hanging out" at Cosmic Bowling. I have no problem with her bowling there, because it's a lot of fun. I take my kids every now and then. But just to hang out? No.

In fact...At our bowling alley they announce, before CB starts, that anyone under a certain age, who is not with a parent and not bowling, must leave. I can't remember the exact age, but it's either 13 or 18...Either way your dd would be too young to just hang out there. Do they not have that rule at your bowling alley?

[sillymumof2]

I agree. I dont have kids that old yet. But I have a 10 year old niece. N I would be shocked if her mom let her go. Thats to late for any young girl to be out. ESPECIALLY with the crowd you described. I wouldn't have let her go either with the crying fit tho. I think you were right though with what you believe.

[tomsjennabean]

im not sure i know i didnt stat going till i was like 16..... and i was one of those "stupid" kids and the only reason we went was so we could get drunk before.

Im not sure what the rules are.

[tomsjennabean]

just in case of some confusion.....DH did NOT let her go to that friends house....but a different friends (if she was my dd she would have spent the night in her room for crying lol)

[bellasmom32510]

No. I have an 11 year old and there is absolutely no way. AND if her attitude was bad DH/I wouldn't have let her do anything but sit in her room!

[tinatyty2011]

She needed to be spending the night, in her room. 11 going where high schoolers dwell, hell no! Recipe for disaster.

[minimo77]

No way in H*ll would i have allowed an 11 year old out that late. With the story changing, etc, sounds like she is trying to figure out how to lie, and just isnt good at it yet. I would not feel bad at all, i agree with you in that she should have gone to her room for the night.

[auroragold]

Hell no!

Going to hang out at 10pm?!  Not here, no freakin way.

[Zamaria]

No. In my opinion, 11 year old's have no business being out anywhere at 10pm without a parent or trusted person supervising them. Also, the crying fit would and attitude would have earned her a grounding if she were my kid. I couldn't do stuff like that till I was 13 and did it with my youth group and the leaders always supervised. So no. You aren't being too mean.