Government Disses Parents by Classifying Dads as Babysitters. What are your thoughts?
Government Disses Parents by Classifying Dads as Babysitters
You
want to hear something crazy -- something that, if you're anything like
me, will get you hopping mad? In a report about childcare in two-parent
households, the U.S. Census Bureau considers mothers who care for their children -- while the fathers are working or, well, whenever -- as a child's "designated parent." Fathers who care for their children while the mother is working or attending school, however, are considered to be part of a "child care arrangement." In other words, as KJ Dell'Antonia points out in The New York Times' Motherlode
blog, as far as the Census Bureau is concerned, mothers who care for
their kids are parents, and dads who care for their kids (as a rapidly
increasing percentage of them do) are, essentially, babysitters.
In her blog, Dell'Antonia rightly expresses outrage about this ridiculously retrograde classification, which a Census Bureau spokesperson told her was based on "gender norms." (I know, it just gets worse and worse, doesn't it?) "Mothers -- just call us 'designated parents' -- are on the hook every time," she writes.
But there may be an even bigger loser than moms in this "gender
norm," "designated parent," "child care arrangement" debate, which goes
way beyond semantics: fathers. The idea that fathers, when they care for their children, are essentially hired hands or second-class citizens or anything other than parents, caring for their children out of love and dedication, is just unbelievably insulting.
As I write this, sitting in front of my computer, trying to make a buck
and support my family in my chosen field, who is -- right at this
moment -- picking up my (our!) children at school and taking them to the
playground for a little afterschool air and sunshine, laughing with
them, playing with them, giving them a snack, and comforting them if
they skin a knee? Their father, who is every bit a "designated parent" as I.
To differentiate his care for them from mine is to deny him his
rightful status -- and to deny our kids the understanding that they
have two parents who are equally able to love and care for them. The
U.S. Census Bureau ought to be ashamed! And I don't need a survey to
back that up.
What do you think of the U.S. Census
Bureau's classification of mothers as "designated parents" and fathers
as providers of "child care"?
Absolutely ridiculous! I hope there's tons of backlash on this one.
Quoting auroragold:Absolutely ridiculous! I hope there's tons of backlash on this one.
yep
Quoting auroragold:Absolutely ridiculous! I hope there's tons of backlash on this one.
Personally, I think it's much ado about NOTHING. Semantics. Wording. It's means NOTHING -- doesn't give you tax breaks (or take them away).
I'm more concerned with jobs & the economy & the homeless, etc.
wow this is the dumbest thing i have heard, and sad part is so many families think that way. I have actually heard dads say they are babysitting THEIR kids. I have also scene on this women who WON'T leave there own kids alone with their dad? Are you kidding me you agreed to procreate with a man you can't even trust to watch your kid while you go get milk.
As a woman this outrages me! It is not only a fathers right to be a "designanted parent" but also a RESPONSIBILITY! To me the term "babysitter" brings to mind someone doing me a favor by watching my children if I can't. Their is a difference between baby sitting and parenting. It reminds of the time one of my friends, who is a SAHM decided to have a girls night our for herself so the childrens fathers watched them and the next day when she talked to her MIL she said to her "I heard he babysat the kids for you last night- wasn't that nice of him?" Get real! As stated earlier, children should know that they have TWO parents that are capable of loving them and caring for them. I find it sad that it is 2012 and we still have sexist crap like this!
It's silly to call them something different, just as silly is at is that I always feel I have to ask my husband to "watch the kids for me" if I go out, but it doesn't work the other way around. I know this trend is changing, and I agree whether it's a mother or father staying home, each one is a designated parent. I have to say, though, of the couples I know who operate under this arrangement, the SAHD is NOT a homemaker. These guys I know whatch the kids while their wives are at work, and then when she gets home, she gets to do all the laundry and cleaning that she would have done during the day if she was a SAHM.
Once I left my son with my husband so I could get an hour of work done on the weekend. I guess he wasn't expecting to have to watch his child so he got fuming mad at me and screamed
"I'M NOT YOUR BABYSITTER!"
I'll never forget that. Nope, you idiot, you're his FATHER.
(we're getting divorced, btw)
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on Feb. 12, 2012 at 9:39 AM