in school suspension her 3rd day back at public school, but im proud of her!
Ok I am not standing on my soapbox screaming YAY MY KIDS GOT ISS!!! but i AM proud of how she somewhat handled the situation. Quck background, she has ADHD, bipolar and has Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), a very in your face attitude, and dont think twice about wanting to rare back and try to knock HY head off. She has been off ADHD meds for a month now trying to get her baseline to try a new dr and drug therapy.
This girl at school is awful. Her mom is worse. I met her mom, and within 5 minutes she told me how she was on methadone, goes to a pill mill in a neighboring city, how every house her daughter goes to they have to file sex charges on the men that are there, how she used to work as a stripper, and a few other things just as alarming. What was even worse as soon as she opened her mouth to talk I saw she had meth teeth. I ususally don't make my decisions on someone based on looks, but considering she came out and told me her entire closet of crap, no assumptions had to be made. I immediately told me daughter that she would not be going to her house, and she would not be coming to our house (at the time we lived iwht my fiancee and I wasn't ABOUT to put him in that spot).
Well, her daughter didn't like the fact that my daughter wasnt hanging out with her, so things got bad, name calling, little tween drama stuff. I pulled my DD out of school to try to bring up her grades and take a break from "boy drama". Well, while she was out of school, she spent the night with a friends and that friends mother had to call that girls mom to try to stop the phone calls and harassment. Her mom of course laughed and hung up. Then my DD went to Walmart for the midnight release of that vampire movie with a friend and her mom, and this girl was there, and followed my DD the whole time calling her names. Well, today at school, this girl got in my daughters face callign her a whore, a bitch, and asking her what she gonna do about it, you wanna fight??? and just kept on. My DD told her to go away and tried to WALK AWAY, and that girl got back in her face taunting her. My DD told her to quit being an ass, when the girl threatened to fight her again. Finally a teacher came and broke it up and sent both the office. The teacher backed my DD up and told the principle she was trying to walk away. I AM SOOOOO PROUD that my DD didn't just rare back and knock that little girls head off. She should have, that girl deserved it, but she didn't. MY KID ACTUALLY THOUGHT BEFORE ACTING! OMG! A KODAK MOMENT! Ok well, the principle said he told that girl she was lucky my DD didn't say ok and lay her on the ground. My daughter looks like she is 16 or so and is 5'7" and took Tae Kwon Do for years, this girl is maybe 80 lbs soaking wet. However, my DD got ISS for 3 days for callign this girl an ass. The girl got 3 days ISS for starting the whole thing. Isn't this considered bullying? Shouldn't consideration be made that my daughter didn't knock this girls head off? Then on top of it he hot her with a level 3, Verbal implied threats of violence. Since when was callign someone an ass, especially if they are one, considered implying violence?
Anyhow, we did have the talk about how you shouldn't call people names blah blah blah, but I spent more time telling her how proud I was of her for not making things worse. I told her to just keep it up, if it happens again, and they cut in front of you walking, and won't let you ge to a teacher, then just scream for one. However, if anyone lays a hand on you pushing, hitting, slapping, to haul back and make it worth the Out of School Suspension that you will end up with. (I was in 7th grade with the SAME thing happened to me, I didn't try to walk away. I knocked over 6 desks to make it to the doorway were that girl was standing calling me names, and i busted her head open on the lockers. I had heard her mouth for too long. yes I got suspended, but first thing my mom asked when she got there was, well did you make it worth it? and I just smiled!) I don't condone violent behavior, but there was not help with bullying back then, and seems to not still be now. My daughter warned the counselors of this THURSDAY and nothing was done, now it escalated to this.
I know this is long, but I really am proud of her, if yall knew what we have been through the past few years, and her behavior, you would understand, but this is just one of those moments I will never forget!
I would be extremely proud of her as well. It's hard not to give in to being belittled, especially with her history and the adrenaline pumping. It must have taken a lot of self control. I guess this means what you are doing is working. :]
As for the ISS, that is bull. Obviously your daughter was the victim.. and she didn't even lash out. It's great you are giving her so much praise, she deserves it. Way to be the bigger person.
As I found with my daughter, and I am sure you will see with your daughter, rules are applied differently. My oldest son was caught calling someone a F***ing Asshole! He was given lunch detention. ~Same school, both were 7th grade (different times)~ My daughter called a girl a bitch. She was expelled for 7 days! It was basically the same situation, both had the same principal. My son was defending a friend, and so was my daughter! My son was known as the quiet type. My daughter, well, not so much (LOL)!
Some kids will get the strictest punishments, no matter what you do!
I would be proud of her too. She definitely displayed willpower by not stooping to the other girl's level.
I would fight ISS too. That seems pretty extreme to me for calling a classmate a bad word. IMO, it's not even that bad of a word.
Sounds to me like your DD demonstrated great self control considering the bullying that she was receiving.
I would personally call the school and make sure that DD & Bully weren't in ISS together today. I know from experience that sometimes they put them in together ... not sure why because really doesn't make sense. My DS2 at 16 got into a verbal altercation with 2 other boys and the dean was going to put them all in the same small room together for 2 days. Really like any 16 yr old has to brains to shut the hell up and not make remarks back. I told the Dean I realized my child deserved the punishment since he was an active participant but I refused to set him up for failure by sticking all 3 in one room together.. seriously they lack the brain filter sometimes. I arranged to have my son do ISS on different days from the other two.
You definitely need to be proactive, because if she is put with the bully what might happen when the ISS staff turns there back?
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- caytismom
on Feb. 13, 2012 at 9:35 PM