Mom Who Snatches Son Gets Away With It. What do you think?

[Cafe MichelleP]

Mom Who Snatches Son Gets Away With It

Posted by April Peveteaux

In yet another installment of, "Why I will never, ever, ever get a divorce," a story about a 10-year custody battle of a little boy highlights how anger with your adult partner can seriously harm your child. You'll be forgiven for not immediately seeing the damage done to 16-year-old Alex Abbott, who is at the center of a custody case that just ended simply because he aged out of the process.

To quickly recap: Alex's parents, Jacquelyn Vaye Abbott (American born) and Timothy Abbott (British born), married in England and gave birth to baby Alex in Hawaii. The couple then relocated to Chile and later separated. Jacquelyn had custody, and Timothy had visitation rights. Jacquelyn claimed she could not find work in Chile due to her status as an American citizen, and took Alex (then 10 years old) back to live with her in Texas. Timothy never granted a divorce and has been fighting to have Alex brought back to Chile ever since.

But now, Alex is 16 and can make the decision for himself about who he wants to live with. He has chosen his mother and says he has no interest in seeing his father. End of story. Except it's not that simple, especially for Timothy Abbott.

No matter if the mother had custody, moving the child to an entirely new country -- one that the father is not a citizen of -- is wrong. Unless the reasons involve abuse, this mother should not have taken her child away from the father. If the reasons did involve abuse, that should have come out in these proceedings and we would be hailing mom as a hero instead of a villain. Even though 16-year-old Alex wants nothing to do with his father, this should come as no surprise. He's been living exclusively with his mother for six years. Six very formative years, when she has been fighting with his father.

Just think if the genders were reversed, what would you think about this kid-snatching? Even though this case is ending with a whimper instead of a bang, it's still devastated at least two lives. Alex's father, and Alex himself.

No matter how you feel about your ex, your child needs to have the opportunity to develop a relationship with his mom and dad. You're hurting your child, even though you think you're only hurting the man or woman you no longer want to live with, see, or even think about. That's selfish and harmful to your offspring. Again, unless we're talking about abuse and/or neglect, there's no reason to deny your child a relationship. No one wins here, except perhaps Jacquelyn, who finally gets her way.

Do you think this mother should be punished for snatching her child?

[spitfire06]

uh Im totally on the moms side here. MY dd should not have to do something she absolutely does not want to. But lately she really wants to see her dad , but he will NOT MAKE AN EFFORT to come see her and yes we are very close to where he lives right now.. but hes "to busy" to make time to come see her.. I THINK BULLSHIT.

[psych_mom]

I think that the mother should not have taken the son completely away from the dad. We don't know what all she has told her son about him in the past 6 years to keep him from wanting to see his dad. I think that it is very wrong of her. If this would have happened under US court jurisdiction there would have been consequences for the mother. I could never see doing this to my children's father.

[caytismom]

Would Chile or her husband have supported her financially indefiantly? Since she is a US citizen and couldn't find employment in Chile.  I doubt they would ahve paid for a roof over her head, and the daily needs completely for her and her son.  She is supposed to live homeless in Chile because she shouldn't go where she could find work?  I think thats ludicris.  You do what you have to when you have a child.  If they lived in Hawaii when the son was born, that ment the husband was allowed entry into the US.  Maybe he needed ot come to the US if he wanted a relationship with his son.  Apparently he worked in US before. 

[psych_mom]

How do we know for a fact that she couldn't get a job just because of her US citizenship. Her husband was British but apparently he had employment there. Why could he find work there but she couldn't? Maybe that was just an excuse for her to leave and wasn't really the reason at all. We can't just judge the father based on the few facts that we have. We really need a lot more information before we look at him and say that he had options while the mother didn't.

Quoting caytismom:

Would Chile or her husband have supported her financially indefiantly? Since she is a US citizen and couldn't find employment in Chile.  I doubt they would ahve paid for a roof over her head, and the daily needs completely for her and her son.  She is supposed to live homeless in Chile because she shouldn't go where she could find work?  I think thats ludicris.  You do what you have to when you have a child.  If they lived in Hawaii when the son was born, that ment the husband was allowed entry into the US.  Maybe he needed ot come to the US if he wanted a relationship with his son.  Apparently he worked in US before. 

[opal10161973]

It could have been the Visa laws of Chile that made it difficult for her to get a job.  He may have a career that is in high demand there, or work with a company that has an office there, and that would make it much easier for him to get a job.  While, in her case, if she has been a SAHM, with little work experience, it would have been nearly impossible for her to get a job here, let alone another country. 

Keep in mind this child was ten, when the parent's split up.  Not a small child that didn't have any idea what was going on.  Also, the father could have gone to visit him and not one time in six years, did he do that?  He could have gone to see his son and didn't and that is why the son could care less or there may have been abuse and she left to protect her son from the father.  We don't know the situation and if it was reversed, I would feel the same way.