so DD came home yesterday from school got in the house really fast dropped her book bag and ran to the kitchen and I thought she was getting a snack but it was quiet so I got up and looked at her and she had her head down on her arms on the island crying and crying and I kept asking her whats wrong and got nothing out of her and then she said leave me alone and I told her to go in the bathroom get a tissue and she went in and closed the door and I asked over and over again whats wrong no response from her so I went in the bathroom to check on her and she was in the stand up shower door closed bent over balling her eyes out even more and telling me to leave her alone and I want you to go, and getting really mad and said cant I just be left alone, but as a caring mother I had to find out whats going on and made her get out of the shower, well after all was said and done, she finally said, She a lone and was the only kid in her class that didn't get anything for Valentines and other kids got things and candy, then she said she has no one at school and no one at home, I know she lonely and I keep explaining to her that she going to have to reach out and make friends but she said some of the kids in her classed have been picking on her saying she talks funny or her looks since she wears her hoodie at school all day. Any Advice? I forgot to say I had DH go get her some candy and he got her a gift card and that did make her feel like some one was thinking of her, she really did like her feathered hair clip I got her before she went to school.
I think you're doing what you can to help her cope.
My only other thought is to encourage her to get numbers from kids in her class and start calling them to invite them over. I've been trying to encourage my son to do that for years, and he's just recently started doing it. I think some kids need that extra push to know that they need to make an effort towards friendship too. My parents never pushed me, and I'm really bad about reaching out to people to make friends. I wish they had taught me that skill, and so I'm trying teach it to my son...even if I'm not good at it myself.
Quoting Barabell:I think you're doing what you can to help her cope.
My only other thought is to encourage her to get numbers from kids in her class and start calling them to invite them over. I've been trying to encourage my son to do that for years, and he's just recently started doing it. I think some kids need that extra push to know that they need to make an effort towards friendship too. My parents never pushed me, and I'm really bad about reaching out to people to make friends. I wish they had taught me that skill, and so I'm trying teach it to my son...even if I'm not good at it myself.
I just don't want to be harassing her so much that makes her not want to open up to me and tell me whats going on but this morning while helping her with her hair, I brought up the subject again and seems to be the Mexican Spanish Speaking kids who pick on her and say she talks funny and dresses weird, She does say she has 1 or 2 friends she does talk with in school and at lunch time, I just keep telling her we live in a mix community and she going to have to adjust to that and become more out going and make friends some way or another. Yesterday I went to the Parent Advisory Committee Meeting and I brought up the question about how is the bullying going on at this school since my DD said almost every day their is fights going on and the Principle said to me that it wasn't true and this school is doing its best to deal with that and he hasn'tseen fights going on lately. I don't like feeling there is a blind eye and trying to cover it up with this middle school, a few parents also addressed that the kids have been doing allot of graffetti on the electrical boxes and brick walls up and around the 2 school roads and by the school and then another parent mentioned to him how to get the school more involved with cleaning up the school grounds, so I do hope this new Principle does take actions and changes this school for the better.
Encourage her to get their phone numbers and give them her phone number and hang out with them outside of school too. Reminder her tomorrow morning to exchange phone numbers, and then reminder her again next week if she forgets. Encourage to hang out more with the kids she does get along with.
Quoting cleanmoss:I just don't want to be harassing her so much that makes her not want to open up to me and tell me whats going on but this morning while helping her with her hair, I brought up the subject again and seems to be the Mexican Spanish Speaking kids who pick on her and say she talks funny and dresses weird, She does say she has 1 or 2 friends she does talk with in school and at lunch time, I just keep telling her we live in a mix community and she going to have to adjust to that and become more out going and make friends some way or another. Yesterday I went to the Parent Advisory Committee Meeting and I brought up the question about how is the bullying going on at this school since my DD said almost every day their is fights going on and the Principle said to me that it wasn't true and this school is doing its best to deal with that and he hasn'tseen fights going on lately. I don't like feeling there is a blind eye and trying to cover it up with this middle school, a few parents also addressed that the kids have been doing allot of graffetti on the electrical boxes and brick walls up and around the 2 school roads and by the school and then another parent mentioned to him how to get the school more involved with cleaning up the school grounds, so I do hope this new Principle does take actions and changes this school for the better.
the one girl who really talks with her, my dd keeps asking her for her phone number but the girl never gives it to her and then the girl said during the week she may be able to get together but not on the weekends since they have allot things always going on the other girl talks every now and again with her during lunch but that's about it, what so sad is how this school works and classes go by the alphabet and get in units so until highschool the kids go up in grade with the same kids, only time she get around different kids if some move away or some join the school, her friends from 5th grade last year all are in another unit so she never see's them this year at all and its hard since her only best friend moved away and she was that out going child that helped my dd make other friends.
What activities does DD and/or your family participate in other than school?
Does she do sports? Drama? Girl Scouts? Church? Are there options to meet other similarly aged children OUTSIDE of school?
Also - just a thought - - give her some space when she asks for it. It's clear how much you care and want to help but let her cry it out and come to you on HER terms without forcing the issue. Letting her know you're there when she wants to talk counts for being caring and concerned
I got her doing after school program now 3 days a week but this week is off from after school and then she does Saturday School like every two to three weeks and we are still in search for a Church to get her involved with and she use to do Girl Scouts but her troop leader dropped out so that ended at the begging of last year and family time we do pizza and tv or movie together on Fridays and normally Saturdays we just go out and about to the animal shelter or petsmart or petco, we do go out to the movies or bowling as a family. So she does get allot of one on one time with me but since she a only child its hard on her and family live to far away to even visit them.
My son is an only child, and he has no cousins either. So I know it can be more challenging. That's why I keep him active in sports and Scouts. He's more active in sports now, and many of his friends are from that.
:O( so hard when classes stop making it maditory everyone get a valentine. She'll be ok just keep reminding her you love her and you are there for her.
Back at it TUESDAY
- cleanmoss
on Feb. 15, 2012 at 10:36 AM