DD is getting more out of her restriction than I thought.
DD's grades have not been stable or very good. So, she has been on restriction for quite some time.
She is allowed to use the phone, and she is allowed to watch TV on the weekends. But she is not allowed to play with her friends, and she is only allowed to use the computer for school work.
She is also now in tutoring, and we are working on building her organizational habits.
I would say she has been grounded for about 2 months now.
She is NOT enjoying it. But she is definitely benefiting from it.
The biggest benefit, is she has really mellowed out quite a bit. She has one friend in particular that tends to get her all worked up, and she then becomes very emotional. Not having that influence on her has gone a long way towards helping DD relax a lot. She has also gotten to the point that she is starting to really enjoy her down time. She started a project that she has really gotten into, and is having a good time with it.
She has a few more weeks, at the very least, of restriction. I'm hoping her grades will be good enough that I can maybe put her on Probation. She will definitely need to transition back to her old privileges, I know for her she can't maintain as well as she would like.
She has learned how to enforce boundaries. I know it wasn't pleasant at first, but she is now seeing how her friends can and will respect her, even when she says no. They will even step up and be a better friend.
We have also sat down and planned out a more structured schedule for her. And she is starting to catch on.
I'm happy to see the positive results coming to surface.
Glad to hear that something good is coming out of all this. Hope it continues to get better.
Quoting bellasdesserts:
How old is she?
She is 11.
We moved over the Summer, so there has been some adjustment due to that. She also started middle school, and it is a very different environment compared to elementary school. For one the teachers are not nearly as accommodating. Which was a big wake up call for her, she struggles with being organized and it is starting to affect her grades this year.
She has one friend that lives a few houses down from us, and she tends to be a difficult influence. She is manipulative and pressures DD to push the envelope with us. We have had some pretty epic meltdowns involving this friend. Things like the friend coming over and inviting her somewhere and then informing us that it will be $20-$50 for DD to attend. This was happening EVERY WEEK, sometimes 2 or 3 times. When we would say "no", DD would panic because her friend usually would tell her "if you can't come you can't be my friend'. There have also been some incidents involving this friends parents, that had my DD coming home in tears. Things like them commenting on our parenting and telling DD she can't play there because of us, etc. Because of that, she is no longer allowed to play at this friends house.
I will acknowledge that we are relatively strict with our kids. And we do not shower them with toys and electronics like a lot of their friends have. They have toys, and 2 computers between the 4 of them; just not every electronic on the market. DD does not have a cell phone of her own yet, we provide her with a prepaid if she is with someone other than us. Our reasoning is she is only 11, there is no need for her to have a cell phone full time. Most likely, DD will not be given a cell phone until highschool, and then she will be required to help pay for it.
Yesterday was interesting. She was in a bit of a mood, and anything and everything was setting her off. I'm hoping today won't be as volatile. She went to tutoring this morning, a little less cranky than she did yesterday.
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- heybooboo
on Feb. 19, 2012 at 2:02 PM