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Tween Titans Tween Titans

You're Not My Parents!

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 4:02 PM
  • 8 Replies

My half BIL whom we have custody of got upset with us the other day over not having called to tell us that his friend's brother was going to pick him and his friend up after basketball practice so he could spend a little time with his friend working on a project for school.  We have a rule that if he's going to change plans on us, he needs to call and let us know.  There's a little store near his school so there's no excuse or he could have borrowed the brother's cell phone.  Technically, we aren't his parents, but how would you have responded to this?  His mom's (my SMIL) been in and out (more in than out) of prison his whole life which is why her rights were terminated and my FIL has been deceased for 4 years.  My other SIL probably could have taken my half BIL in, but she's a single mom and has an apartment barely big enough for herself and her 7 year old daughter.

in love, teen boy, twin girls

by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 4:02 PM
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Replies (1-8):
auroragold
by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 5:06 PM

You are his legal guardians - - - your rules then.

psych_mom
by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 5:35 PM
Agreed.


Quoting auroragold:

You are his legal guardians - - - your rules then.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
SuperLooneyMom
by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 6:22 PM
I second that


Quoting psych_mom:

Agreed.




Quoting auroragold:

You are his legal guardians - - - your rules then.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kmrtigger
by on Feb. 20, 2012 at 7:25 PM

I agree that since you are his legal guardians then he NEEDS to follow any and all rules set forth. If not then he needs consequences for breaking them.

Barabell
by on Feb. 21, 2012 at 10:35 AM


Quoting auroragold:

You are his legal guardians - - - your rules then.

I agree.

Are you asking how we would punish our kid in that instance? If so, how old is he and how often is he breaking your rules?

fineyouguyswin
by on Feb. 21, 2012 at 10:37 AM

yep :O)

Quoting auroragold:

You are his legal guardians - - - your rules then.


Roo1234
by Member on Feb. 21, 2012 at 11:32 AM
1 mom liked this

I would have responded that while I didn't give birth to him, I am responsible for him like a parent would be and I act as his parent in most circumstances, providing him shelter, food, clothes, a home. Because of this relationship, it is imperative that he respect the rules so that we can have an amicable environment and homelife.  Rather than getting into "the rules" appeal to the fact that you indeed care about him and his well-being and that means needing to know where he is and whom he is with all the time.  This isn't about controlling him, it is about caring for him.  Wanting to keep him safe and wanting to give him a sense of family.  

It sounds like the kid hasn't really had a great life in many ways.  Are you able to get him counseling?  Have you considered family counseling as well.  Taking in a teen  to raise is a daunting task for anyone and one who has had a hard childhood can really be challengine.   You didn't mention his age, but I'm sure part of this is simple "teenage rebellion" and frankly, I would respond to my own children with similar words of support and love with the idea that rules are in place for a reason that has nothing to do with control or responsibility over the "child", but they exist because we care most about his well-being especially when he isn't in our sight.

styler7
by on Feb. 21, 2012 at 10:11 PM
How old is he?
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