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Posted by on Mar. 7, 2012 at 3:12 PM
  • 11 Replies

I have two 11 year old girls (not twins they are step-sisters).  I am tired of the your not going to tell me what to do, I know better than you voice tones.  I want to get this under control now before it gets worse.  I know they are going through lots of changes and emotions are up and down.  I am talking about the absolute disrespect.  One daughter gave her great-grandmother attitude while she was in the hospital!  They tell me the punishments are stupid and they aren't going to change anyway!  How can I handle this?

by on Mar. 7, 2012 at 3:12 PM
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by on Mar. 7, 2012 at 5:00 PM
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Find out there "currency" what means the most to each girl and use it. If one is friend time and she acts out she loses it if she is good she gains it. If the others is something like tv time again use it. But be consistant and stick to it. If you let them off the punishment even once you lose all credibility.
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by on Mar. 7, 2012 at 5:17 PM

goin thru same thing here, i have a 12 yr old dd. it sucks.

by on Mar. 7, 2012 at 6:12 PM

It gets really bad when they don't care how you punish them.  My step-daughter told me "If I don't get what I want here I will get it from my aunt or mom anyway"!  I realize I am just a small part of her life but her aunt has this same behavior and I told her dad to let her see her anymore.  The aunt then came to my house and said "I am overprotective of _____ and your not going to keep her from me"!  I really am about to say your influencing my daughter (I know this since the week she isn't here my daughter doesn't act like this) in a negative way your going to have to be apart from each other for awhile.  I don't want it to come to this.  Makes me want to pull my hair out.

by on Mar. 7, 2012 at 6:18 PM
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Sounds like some issues beyond your control are going on. Is the aunt on the mom's side or the dad's side?

by on Mar. 7, 2012 at 6:19 PM
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I would go on strike for a week.  Stop making their dinner, washing their clothes, taking them anywhere, etc. and when they ask what's going on, just say, "you can't tell ME what to do. I don't FEEL like washing your clothes, cooking you dinner, taking you to the mall" etc. Just tell them what they tell you in an overtly childish way, so they see what they act like.  See how that goes after a few days.

by on Mar. 8, 2012 at 10:28 AM

The aunt is on her own side.  From what I have understood she "practically raised her by herself".  We are newly married as of October. Whenever she goes to visit her aunt she comes back to mom or dad worse than before.  The Aunt told me I am trying to hard to fit into the family.  She has been trying for 11 years to get some family members to accept her wife into the family.  She is a very confused person herself and I personally would rather not have my kids around her just because of her own attitude.  Lesbian or not if you can't be nice then you don't need to be around kids that are going through complicated situations of their own.

by on Mar. 12, 2012 at 8:13 PM
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Totally understand how you feel! My daughter is 11 (12 next week) and the attitude! OMG! In fact, she's in her room right now because I told her I don't need her attitude "polluting" the family room! LOL

by on Mar. 12, 2012 at 8:46 PM

I'm dealing with a terrible attitude from my SS10.  He argues with everyone, even his teachers and principal.  And he also has meddling family members who sometimes just come out and tell him not to listen to me and DH!

I wish I had soemthing helpful to tell you.

by on Mar. 12, 2012 at 11:35 PM

It got worse.  I didn't think it could but it has.  So the ex-wife has managed to try to put me in the middle of being the disciplinarian.  She punished her daughter for hitting a kid in the face.  This was the punishment that she wanted me to implement into my house with my two kids that live there full time. This punishment also has to last for 3 weeks (one week her time and two weeks our time)

She is not to talk to anyone and no one is to talk to her.

She has to stay in her room (which is also my daughters) and practice clarinet, read, or write sentences).

She has 30 minutes to eat dinner and then go right back to her room.

I'm sorry I didn't know that an ex-wife was suppost to call the new wife and tell her how she is going to run her household.  

I talked to my husband and we are this _ close to moving away so that it makes it just a bit harder for her to just come over whenever she wants to.

by on Mar. 13, 2012 at 12:13 AM

take away EVERYTHING they hold dear (including their bedroom door!) untill they start respecting adults more.  then give them ONE thing at a time untill they earn everything back

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