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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Question and vent on appropriate Tween clothes - Update in replies!

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Hello everyone,

I have a question on appropriate dress for tween girls.  My daughter is 11 and is in 6th grade.  She hates jeans and anything tight fitting.  This is because she is VERY curvy for a 11 year old.  I'm only sharing this so you understand my frustration.  She's a 36C up top and wears a Misses 8 or 10 on bottom and fills them out.  I'll explain below but I need tips for how to keep her modest but allow her to dress in fashionable clothes.

We did find one brand of jeans that fit her well at Old Navy but they are expensive, $30 a pair.  I bought her one pair on sale and I do plan to get her more as I can afford them. Our compromise is that she's allowed to wear jeggings. Jeggings are like leggings but they are thicker.  We buy a size larger so they are not too tight (they fit like traditional jeans)  and she has to wear a long shirt to cover her rear.  So today she went to school wearing her jeggings which she has worn all year, and a long shirt with a half sweater.  Right after I dropped her off, I get a phone call and all I hear is Mom... then I hear someone yelling at her that she's not supposed to be on the phone. I turned around and went back to the school.  She needed lunch money anyway so I just made like that's what I was there for.  They called her down to the office and she told me that the gym teacher said she was inappropriately dressed!  She told her that her shirt was too tight (it was a little form fitting which is why she had on the half sweater but it came down well over her thighs and it was NOT tight across her rear.  The office lady said that when they wear tights (these were not) that the covering has to be fingertip length.  Her shirt was just above fingertip length but well over her behind. 

I'm not sure what to do.  I did go home and bring her another shirt after talking to hubby (who also saw her outfit and approved it).  I am very serious about my daughter being modest and she knows that.  I would never let her leave the house looking like a hussy but I want her to be comfortable.  She does wear sweatpants occasionally but she like to dress nice and trendy for school.  I don't mind as long as she is covered.  She can't help that she's curvy.   She's not promiscuous and not boy crazy like some of the other girls. I don't want her to have to feel self conscious when she goes to school.   This is why I wish we had uniforms!!!

Sorry this is so long and thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Margaret
Margaret
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Replies (21-29):
emilyrosenj
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 8:15 PM
If shes wearing tights she wears a dress, if shes wearing leggings she can wear a skirt over them, but with jeggings a long shirtvus fine because they are thick and not transparent or tight. I'm conservative but she does have some leeway.

Quoting SuperLooneyMom:

Well I don't have suggestions but I am 5ft only at 175 lbs. I buy my work pants at sears and get my jeans stretchable from walmart. My shirts cover down to my butt an cover most of my torso. Least to say I am very conservative . My dd is 5 yrs old and she must wear a skirt with her leggings. Even if she were wearing jeggings a skirt is required. My dd dresses or skirts must be below her knees or I get a dress bigger. Clothes are made too small for the proper size.

As for my clothes I go to sears walmart macys and old navy for my sweaters. I don't wear dresses and my clothes are bigger than they should be. Just because I don't like showing anything.
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emilyrosenj
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 8:19 PM
Lol! She actually likes the "older" more conservative styles

Quoting steelcrazy:

I am a similar size to your dd, I get my jeans at Old Navy when they are on sale, they are the only brand that actually fits my curvy figure.  I haven't been able to wear juniors clothing since I've had children because that is when I got my curves.  Juniors clothing isn't cut to fit curvy figures, so she'll have to stick with the misses clothing.  I get a lot of my clothing at Old Navy, JCPenny, and Kohl's and they seem stylish to me.  Although a tween's version of stylish is completely different than a 40 year old woman's. lol

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emilyrosenj
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 8:22 PM
Normally I would, this was a case of choosing my battle, since I was able to talk to her and resolve the problem, its all good.

Quoting fineyouguyswin:

Oh and if o ever heard someone yelling at my child I'd be pissed!
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fineyouguyswin
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 8:27 PM
Still no place for anyone to scream at a child I'd have to have a major cool down.

Quoting emilyrosenj:

Normally I would, this was a case of choosing my battle, since I was able to talk to her and resolve the problem, its all good.



Quoting fineyouguyswin:

Oh and if o ever heard someone yelling at my child I'd be pissed!
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justkeeplaughin
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 6:24 AM
I also have two daughters that I find hard to outfit! JcPenny's shorts fit my girls but there shirts are cut to small. Used to love Justice but all the neon colors in there this year just isn't what my girls are looking for. It is so hard to find them things that aren't too short or too tight. My girls are 10 and 5.4' wear an 8 shoe, and a 6 in juniors pants. I have one that won't wear anything not elastic because thats all she has ever worn and she can't stand jeans material.
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jojobean558
by Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 6:56 AM
My DD is only 10 and doesn't like Jeans eit her. She wears leggings with long shirts too. Lately even Walmart hasn't had anng that fits her correctly. I don't know if you have one near you but we found savors. It's like a thrift store but on a bigger scale. The prices are really reasonable. We paid $2.99 for Jeans.
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allwritenow
by Member on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:42 AM

If you are able to, get an Old Navy credit card. They will send you ALL of their sale info. Three-ish times a year, they have the Stuff 'n Save sale that is 30% off everything. Right now, I have a coupon here for 40% off my total purchase on 4/18. If you buy their clothes at full price, they are a little pricy, but with all the sales, I usually only pay $11 or $12 for pants for me.

My sixth grade daughter has the opposite problem that your daughter has. She is about 52" tall and only weighs 58 pounds. She is one of the smallest in her grade, and she is still stuck in girl clothes that aren't fashionable. She can't fit into juniors, Aeropostale, etc. Thankfully, she hasn't thought to complain yet. :-)

Saille717
by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 10:52 AM

I remember how much is sucked to have breasts so much larger than my peers.  I had no idea how to be fashionable, and my mother really wasn't a lot of help in that area -- it really wasn't her strong suit, and so I ended up always wearing baggy clothes and slouching.  

If the problem is the cost of wardrobe then it's time to start networking for hand me downs and hitting yard sales.  Old Navy is an excellent brand for ladies with figures, trust me on that, so is American Eagle, and Fashion Bug.  The 'Big' brands up here, according my son who wants to wear nothing else (also 11 and in 6th grade, mind you) are Aeropostale, American Eagle, Abercrombie and Fitch and his favorite, Hollister.  Now, I couldn't afford to buy any of these brands even on clearance in stores, but over the last year I have filled out my son's wardrobe in almost nothing but these brands by checking the Salvation Army store, second hand and consignment shops, and yard sales.  I also have a friend's 14 year old daughter who I shop for when I'm out for the same reason.  Add in that I've been shrinking for years and wear a different size each summer I've had to clothe myself every year, too.  

So I'd say this summer start going yard saling with your daughter.  Nobody but you and she need know that the clothes are second hand.  And with clothes being such a toss away commodity these days you can find a huge selection.  All it takes is to hit just one good sale where somebody gained or lost weight or had a kid grow out of your daughter's size and bam, she's got a whole new wardrobe for the cost of a couple outfits retail.  

emilyrosenj
by on Apr. 16, 2012 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this

Thanks again ladies for all of the great insight and tips.  I do do garage sales but in the past, they haven't had her size.  Now that she's in Misses I should have better luck.  We love garage saling together and she just wants nice clothes no matter where they come from!

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