Do you think it is a bad idea to......

[DEEANNALAMB81]

My tween is trying out for middle school cheerleading this afternoon, next year will be her first year in middle school (7th grade here). She has done peewee cheerleading since she was five buy doesn't know how to do a back handspring, I don't know how many of the other girls do, so needless to say I am a nervous WRECK. I am terrified she won't make it and this will be her first FAILURE. I know kids need to learn how to deal with failure, but no one wants their kids to tryout for something and not get it.  Especially at such a young age. 

My dd has always excelled at anything she has tried, she has only received one B in her whole life and she was so upset. She normally receives high A's and is in the gifted and talented programs and in middle school will start taking some high school class. If she keeps her grades up by the time she gets to HS she will be allowed to go off campus to take college courses. She has been thinking about college since she was a 2nd grader. She is harder on herself then I ever could be on her. 

I am not sure how she will react if she doesn't make the team. I am fairly confediant she will make it, but you never know.

Anyway I was thinking about if she doesn't make the team, we will have a girls day this weekend and I will buy her something that she has REALLY been wanting.

Do you think it is a good idea or should I let her deal with her deal with her disappointment herself?

[nebcutie]

Letting her try out and if she doesnt make it is okey. Take her out this weekend and then maybe there is a high school cheer leader that would want to earn a few bucks that will work with her on the back hand spring and other stuff and she will go in kicking butt next year.

[psych_mom]

I think that the money would be better spent on having someone work with her than teaching her that when we fail at something it is rewarded with something. Kids need to learn to deal with failures.

[DEEANNALAMB81]

She has been taking tumbling classes for a few months now, she can do a back handspring spotted but not unassisted. I know logically it makes since to let her deal with it, but as a parent when you see your kid upset/hurting you just want to make them happy. 

**and it doesn't help that's how I was raised, if I am having a bad day I go shopping. It the instant gratification thing. Shopping is my drug of choice.

Quoting psych_mom:

I think that the money would be better spent on having someone work with her than teaching her that when we fail at something it is rewarded with something. Kids need to learn to deal with failures.

[styler7]

 is the back handspring a requirement?

I remember high school try outs and it was only about cheers :)

 

[DEEANNALAMB81]

Not required but they pick the top scores to make the team. Any tumbling gets you extra points but back handsprings give you higher scores.  

**when I was in school it was required but they have since changed it.

Quoting styler7:

 is the back handspring a requirement?

I remember high school try outs and it was only about cheers :)

 

[psych_mom]

I understand this since I have 3 kids, but is this the message you want to send your daughter?

Quoting DEEANNALAMB81:

She has been taking tumbling classes for a few months now, she can do a back handspring spotted but not unassisted. I know logically it makes since to let her deal with it, but as a parent when you see your kid upset/hurting you just want to make them happy. 

**and it doesn't help that's how I was raised, if I am having a bad day I go shopping. It the instant gratification thing. Shopping is my drug of choice.

Quoting psych_mom:

I think that the money would be better spent on having someone work with her than teaching her that when we fail at something it is rewarded with something. Kids need to learn to deal with failures.

[Barabell]

I have no issue with a mother/daugther weekend, but I think you should do it whether or not she makes the team or not. I think you should focus on her effort to try her best and willingness to put herself out there to make the team, and not the possible failure that could happen.

[steelcrazy]

Whenever I tried out for cheerleader or a part in the school pay or whatever, my mother always had a bouquet of flowers waiting for me when I got home.  They were either congratulations flowers or cheer you up flowers.  It was nice to know that my mom was proud of the effort that I put forth, no matter the out come.

[psych_mom]

That is a great idea.

Quoting steelcrazy:

Whenever I tried out for cheerleader or a part in the school pay or whatever, my mother always had a bouquet of flowers waiting for me when I got home.  They were either congratulations flowers or cheer you up flowers.  It was nice to know that my mom was proud of the effort that I put forth, no matter the out come.

[Barabell]

Quoting steelcrazy:

Whenever I tried out for cheerleader or a part in the school pay or whatever, my mother always had a bouquet of flowers waiting for me when I got home.  They were either congratulations flowers or cheer you up flowers.  It was nice to know that my mom was proud of the effort that I put forth, no matter the out come.

I agree that is where the focus should be. At least, that's where I try to focus with my son too.