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Posted by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 5:00 PM
  • 6 Replies


Last year my oldest SS (13) was caught stealing from our family. He had been taking money from change jars, bills he found in my purse, stole money from my 3 year olds room (she had birthday money in there), stole from a cousin etc. It was very upsetting and he was punished extensively and it seems he hasnt done it since.

Last week my youngest SS (12) downloaded something on his phone ( a game) that cost $9.99 I wasnt happy but he said he could pay me back. With what money, I asked? He said he had been collecting quarters that he found on the street? Strange but I told him to go get the quarters. He had over $17 in quarters. I was not happy and questioned him over and over about where they came from. he said he has just been saving up for a while. I told him multiple times to tell me the truth and he swore he was. I couldnt not believe he would find that many quarters on the street. I brought it up with my DH who also spoke to him and he swore he's just been saving up for a while and had some change from different things.

 Ok fast forward- I had money hidden in a cupboard and on Friday I counted how much was there. It was 2 $20 and 1$5. I put it back in its hiding spot and left it alone. Yesterday I went to get something and noticed it was out of its spot and there were 2 $1 with it. I pulled it down and sure enough one of the $20 was gone and there were 2 $1 in its place along with the other $20 and $5. I was pissed. I questioned both the kids and asked what happened to it. They both said they didnt take it. YSS even went so far as to say he didnt know it was there. I'll be honest I thought it was my OSS because of what happened last year. DH said that he noticed no bread was gone from the loaf and that meant YSS hasnt been taking a lunch to school. So I called the school and sure enough he brought the lunchlady a $20 on Monday and bought lunch everyday.

I am beside myself. We dont even know how to handle this. I never would have stolen money from my parents or anyone and im concerned it could be a deeper issue then stealing (and lying straight to our faces).

I need some honest feedback on how to handle this appropriately.

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 5:00 PM
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by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 11:16 PM

Don't know what to tell you. Our 9 year old has been "finding" things that we are pretty sure he is stealing. He has also been caught lying alot and cheating on his work at school. We have grounded him and he has lost many of the things he enjoys doing but it continues.

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM
We've had that struggle with 22 yo Ds. Not lately though. Counseling helps, I think. Logical consequences. Persistence.
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by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:00 AM

This is a tough one. Consequences are most definitely needed and I'm sure you know this already.

Take him directly to the police station and speak to a police officer they maybe can help you scare him enough.

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:05 AM

I think mos tkids at osme point do it. He honestly may be seeing nothing wrong with it becasue he brought you change. I would sit down and have a talk with him. Not accussing just eplain that you already know he has bought lunch. My youngest finds change everywehre Seriously he is a magnet to change and it isn't mine.

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:28 AM

Does he have a way to earn money? Does he get allowance or have the option of doing extra chores for spending money? If not, of course he's frustrated, aren't you when you're broke?

by Member on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:13 AM
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I think before you sit him down you need to determine what you are going to say and do.  Yes there is punishment. Does he do chores where he can earn money? Is this possible for your household.  At his age he needs to understand money and earning it.   They want there own money.   My son is 12 years old.  Every year he does a yard sale and gets rid of half his stuff. It is things he does not use anymore.  He also does chores for money.   I do offer more money for extra chores.  If he does not do the chores. He looses money.  My son started yard work business last year and made money. He also has house sat.  He goal is to referee for the sport he loves.   His cousin earned money for doing different things for people.  This summer my son has jobs lined up already.  He painting jobs, flower beds, and he will be doing more of the cooking this summer since my husband and I work.  I have always had my son split his money for spending money, saving account and charity. He does it on his own now.  He is doing his own Christmas Club this year. He is saving for something big.  i think if you give him ways to earn his own money you will see a difference in him.  Pride is a big thing.

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