Everyone disagrees with me.

[mommaof4girlys]

My daughter Kaylee is 12 years old & dating a guy. To me, I think it's fine. All she does is hang out with him & do fun stuff together. My husband is so & so about it. He thinks she should be spending more time with friends then a boyfriend, which she already does! So, I talked to some of Kay's friend's moms to see what they think of her dating. They all disagreed. What's so bad about it? Why are people disagreeing with me? Post what you think, thanks. :)

 

[msbell428]

 I guess I should have been a bit more specific. My sister abused the privelage(spelled wrong I know. Sorry lol) of having boys call the house. Our phone curfew was 9pm and she would have them calling the house way past curfew. I think my parents were worried because she'd been caught a few times sneaking out to meet these boys. We were allowed to have boyfriends, and we were allowed to have friends that were boys. Just no dating and no boys calling. I didn't really get it either, about them calling, but that was fine with me. I didn't have much interest in boys anyway till I got a little older. I had a job at 15, and didn't really have much social time anyway...

Quoting Mommy4two:

So she can't have boys calling your house? Does that mean she's not allowed to be friends with them wth? Are you trapped in 1920 or something? I don't get how people with this mentality expect others to learn to socialize with the opposite sex... My son is 8 yrs. old and has just as many girl friends as he does boy ones, I can't fathem telling him he can't speak with the opposite gender... It's one thing when it's all sneaky I suppose but some girls and boys are gonna have great friends that are not their gender.

Quoting msbell428:

Me and my sisters were allowed to group date at 15 and then go on regular dates at 16. Boys couldn't even call our house until we were 15, unless it was school related. That was fine with me and those rules will apply to my kids.

 

 

[lazyd]

How old is this boy?  At 12yo and in middle school, kids dont "date" or have "boyfriends/girlfriends".  One day someone will be their boyfriend/girlfriend and than the next week they are "onto someone else".  I would be more worried about leaving them alone when they hit high school.  Than their hormones are raging even more.  I dont think a sixth grader should be with an eighth grader.  But if your daughter was hanging around boys her own age, i think that would be fine.  Even if we told them they couldnt see someone, they are just going to see this person at school or after school, not much we can do about that.  Most kids just "date" or are "boy/girl" friends during the lunch period, when most kids are allowed to hang out with everyone.  

[maureen813]

I think that dating at this age means something close to communicating electronically and occasionally seeing one another. We have two daughters and our rule is fifteen years old for going on a date to a place alone with a boy. I like the idea of sixteen but I was willing to compromise.

[tennisgal]

i think too young to be exploring a romantic/opposite sex relationship...which is what you are allowing her to do. 

[butterflymommy2]

My brother fathered a child at the age of 12. That was 18 yrs ago. Apparently no one paid attention to them either. He never got to meet his daughter.

[bupkie]

I'll give you ONE GOOD REASON.   This Thursday, we went to the 9th grade STUDENT ORIENTATION.   At the 9th Grade Academy.  (It's a school for ONLY 9TH GRADERS  AGES 13-14.)  ONE of the STUDENTS had a NEWBORN with her.  

I'LL bet her mom felt the same way as you 10 months ago.  Now, probably not so much.  

And I have 2 boys.   Ages 14 and 10.  My husband is one of three boys.  We're well aware of the things boys think vs. what they say.  Same applies to any teen/tween girl/boy alike.  Hormones are hormones.   

[bupkie]

Hey, At lunch, DS sat with his friends all through middle-school.  One of his best friends he's known since he was two years old.  She invited him to eat with her friends at their lunch table.  I see no problem with that.  Here, there are tables with boys/girls at all different age groups.  Why can't they be friends?

Quoting Lorelai_Nicole:

So my 12yo dd shouldn't have friends that are boys?

Quoting iluvmykids32012:

First of all she's too young to be hanging out with a Guy,especially if that Guy isn't her dad,brother or any male relative. How do you know for sure that they're only hanging out? Just not a good decision. You put your trust in her way too soon and I only pray for your sake that she doesn't try anything else with him or anyone else. Now you've opened up that window.

[wenchmommy381]

What does your daughter and her boyfriend know about what people in relationships do? It is entirely possible that to them, "dating" means holding hands while walking around the mall.... but it's also entirely possible that "dating" means having sex. It's really easy to assume either of these extremes or somewhere in between. Seems like being open with your daughter would be of the utmost importance.

I'd also want to be friendly with the boy's parents. Get a better sense of who he is and what he's after.

[lilpep100]

Because in this day and age, many 12 yr olds are sexually active once they have a bf. Be it orally or what have you. They do it at school, they do it when out, at home, wherever. I have 2 good friends who are counselors in middle school and they have seen it all. My daughter tells me how slutty some of the girls in her class are, we communicate about everything.
12 is no longer an innocent age. Your daughter may not be having sex, but you won't really know for sure. Mine was asked out twice last year by popular boys, she told them she didn't have time for boy drama. Mine is focused on school and swim team.