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Everyone disagrees with me.

My daughter Kaylee is 12 years old & dating a guy. To me, I think it's fine. All she does is hang out with him & do fun stuff together. My husband is so & so about it. He thinks she should be spending more time with friends then a boyfriend, which she already does! So, I talked to some of Kay's friend's moms to see what they think of her dating. They all disagreed. What's so bad about it? Why are people disagreeing with me? Post what you think, thanks. :)

 

Momma of 4 girls & expecting baby #5!!girl giving flowerpregnant belly

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 10:26 PM
Replies (181-190):
RetiredUSAFWife
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:38 PM

I think twelve is far to young for a girl to be dating a boy. Sorry, but who knows what may happen. Girls are maturing much younger nowadays, and the possibility of pregnancy is greater at a younger age. My daughter is thirty years old now, and she has "Four" girls, the first of which was born when she was only eighteen. It's far to young, she isn't married, and these children all have behavioural issues. (I think it best for young kids to wait til they are at least sixteen, before even being allowed to date). I refused to let my daughter date that young. I wish I'd have been even stricter to be honest, perhaps she wouldn't have had the four girls till she was actually ready to raise them herself. I love them all dearly, after all they're still my grandchildren. But I wish she'd have used her head and not allowed this to happen so young. So there's my opinion.

 

Amyirene74
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:41 PM
My children are not allowed to date until they are at least 16, preferably 17. Dating is preparation for marriage so we encourage them to wait. At this young age they are not equipped to deal with the temptation of sexual desires. I started dating at 14 and was having sex by 15. I want better for my kids.
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Bre
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:43 PM
This is why SO many young girls have baby's!!!

It only takes a few mins of being "alone" for anything to happen!
At that age they are wanting to explore and curious! If your not carful about what your letting your DD do and be alone I hope your ready to raise another child (your grandchild)!!

This is wrong in more ways then 1!


Quoting mommaof4girlys:



Quoting akgrear:


 


Quoting mommaof4girlys:


 


Quoting akgrear:


Do they spend time alone together?


Yes.


Then I disagree as well. They are too young and immature to be alone together and make responsible decisions on what they should and should not do.



Well, not alone alone. Like, i'm with them but, they go somewhere alone. Get it?

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buggal1989
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with you.  BUT this depends ENTIRELY on the two kids involved.  I double dated with my olders sister (3 years older) 5 days after I turned 13.  I was TOTALY responsible, dependable, smart as a whip and ENTIERLY focused on going to nursing school (which I made it through with great grades and had a highy sucessful carrer until I developed fibro and other medical conditions).  I was also WELL aware of sex and was determined with ALL MY BEING that I would NOT get pregnat as a teen (I was 31 before I had my only).  I made it through LOTS of hairy situations because I had a good head on my sholders. 

So it's really the kids and HOW they date.  I WOULD NOT EVER let my near tween granddaughter do anything but "date" where they meet at the skating rink (etc.) and are NEVER, EVER alone or put in any situations where too much could be expected of her. 

So really it depends on ur tween AND the boyfriend AND the situation!  Use ur own good judgement and TALK, TALK, TALK to her about how to avoid "too much".  Give very real senerinos and give her options - like a cell phone and promise ofa ride home anytime, anywhere with no reprecutions (well, a few.  but nothing that would prevent her from calling u if she is uncomfortable).

fairchildmama
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 9:57 PM

 its not just sex going on these days that kids are doing...my god and you have to learn to trust your kids do you not? and really id rather my daughter or son come home and tell me they are sexually active then get a call saying they are in jail because they got caught with drugs etc or id rather find out that they are pregnant which there are solutions then to see them with needles sticking out of their arms or drunk everynight. grannit i wouldnt want my kids to get pregnant but if i had to choose itd much rather be mom can i have condoms/ birth control over im sorry mam your child is kicked out of school for blah blah or im so sorry but your child has over dosed.

 

Quoting justme00:

I think u and the rest of the moms who think its cool need to get a clue as to what gos on now a days. O wait I have a few for u.........

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2118939/Deaf-students-aged-8-13-sex-school-bus.html

http://www.dreamindemon.com/2012/01/11/two-10-year-old-boys-charged-with-sex-assault-on-school-bus/

http://www.cpyu.org/Page.aspx?id=77160

so if you think its ok, well be ready to be a grandma sooner rather then latter.

 

fairchildmama
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:01 PM

 it seems not alot of moms give their kids credit....yea anything can happen in a minute no crap but shouldnt you be instilling values and talkinto your kids when they say they like a boy/ girl about sex and abstinence? shouldnt you be explaining what can happen if they are in that situation or how to avoid it? you dont have to trust the person they are "with/dating" w/e but i think it would be important to you kids if you trusted them until they gave you a reason not too

paigesmommy811
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:08 PM
It would be hard for me knowing what boys that age think about i personally couldn't imagine my dd with a boyfriend but shes also 17 months old. Im thinking 18I would make me feel a whole lot better to but everyone is different.
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HisMommy4Ever
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:08 PM

Hmmm yeah I disagree with that. Unless you trust her and stuff....she may be young but they're never too young to be thinking about sex. I don't know. It's just something I wouldn't let my son do. My little sister is the same age and I don't see her doing that. She's too small. But I guess it depends on what kind of child your daughter is. If I completely trusted my daughter and the boy then I'd be fine with it but I wouldn't let my gaurd down and leave them alone.

lizzistardust
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:15 PM
I had "boyfriends" at that age, and my parents were fine with me hanging out with them either in groups or at each others homes with parents around. Really, at that age, a boyfriend wasn't that different from a friend.
staciababy
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:22 PM

Well, when she comes home at 15 and says "Mom, I'm pregnant," I geuss you'll get it then. And fine example she'll set for your other girls too. To give her permission to date at 12 gives permission to do things that come along with dating, like sex. Like it or not, she's thought about it, and since the only thing that teen guys think about is sex, you can bet that he's thought about it and she's thought about having sex with him. We live in a society that tells us to let our children do adult things at an early age, yet abandons us when our children become a bad statistics of the consequences of those adult actions. I have 2 kids and one on the way, and  I pride myself in saying that society can kiss my "kids are fully clothed, not giving my 8 or 10 year old  a facebook account or cell phone, not dating till at least 16 and I will meet the kid first" rear!

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