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Tween Titans Tween Titans

I can't stand my 10 year olds best friends mother......and I sort of told her so.

Posted by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:58 AM
  • 9 Replies

My daughter has been really good friends with this little girl for a long time. I like the kid, she is funny, thoughtful, and very smart although she does tend to be a little possesive of my daughter and will occasionally guilt her if she spends time with other friends.

Her mother, on the other hand, is somene I could really do without. She is one of those people that has way to much fun gossiping about others. For the most part I distance myself from her but lately because of the girls activities I have had to see her a lot more.

This woman has been having great fun starting drama, stirring the pot, and then running away and watching what happens. I honestly think she has got to be bored or something because she thrives on gossip. There have been some things said recently that have the potential to do a lot of damage for several people if they are true. It was also contradictory to the countless other things that she had been droning on about. And tonight, I called her on it. I also told her exactly how I felt about her need to constantly be talking about other people and then denying that she ever said anything at all. I'm pretty sure that I used the term "Spineless gossip"  At the time I felt pretty good because what I said was something that I had been fantasizing about saying for the past couple of years.

Now, I feel like crap. I know that this is going to effect my daughters relationship with her friend. I should have just kept my mouth shut. Obviously, the fact that I don't like her mother has not kept my daughter from being alloud to be friends with her. I just hope that now that she NOWS I don't like her that she will keep the girls apart.

*sigh....like a really BIG sigh*

Is this even something I can fix? Should I even want to?

 

 

 

 

 

 

by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 12:58 AM
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Replies (1-9):
psych_mom
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 1:11 AM

It may be for the best that you spoke up because this could be something that effects your daughter in a negative way down the road, such as this mother could start gossip about her when she is a little older.

Wyldbutterfly
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think what you said was wrong. The truth hurts. Maybe it will make her think twice next time before she starts the rumor mill. I can't stand to hear gossip. I've been a firm believer of saying it right to their face. It's cowardly IMO to say stuff behind peoples back.

I hope it does not interfere with your DD's friendship.

fineyouguyswin
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 8:08 AM

ehhh you don't have to be her friend for your daughter to  be friends :O)

mom22tumblebugs
by Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

That is ok. You do know that you are now going to be her topic of conversation to everyone else she meets. :)

It will blow over eventually. Your daughter and her daughter are friends. Your daughter likes her and it shouldn't be the moms' tiff that ruins their relationship. If it does, the moms owe the girls an apology IMO.

mom22tumblebugs
by Member on Apr. 28, 2012 at 10:38 AM

As my DH always says "It is all in the presentation." You can say the same thing in several different ways. One way will leave a person defensive, another way will be offensive. If you can find a way to be neither, then you have effectively communicated.  

Quoting Wyldbutterfly:

I don't think what you said was wrong. The truth hurts. Maybe it will make her think twice next time before she starts the rumor mill. I can't stand to hear gossip. I've been a firm believer of saying it right to their face. It's cowardly IMO to say stuff behind peoples back.

I hope it does not interfere with your DD's friendship.


unsuspected
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 1:08 PM

UGh ... I hate female mama drama ... the politic behind the kids' friendships is just ridiculous.

If you do honestly feel bad about what you said, you could try to apologize, set a good example for your daughter about admting when you feel you've made a mistake.  (For the record, I don't think you are wrong not to like this person and I do understand getting fed up with it.  But saying hurtful things is kinda why you were aggrivated with HER in the first place.  Again, I see your side and I'm not trying to point fingers or anything.)  

And tell her someting along the lines of the girl's friendship being strong and what it is and how your relationship as the parent's shouldn't effect that ... ?  IDK

Awkward situation, I'm really sorry. 

Rogue35
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 2:29 PM
I think you acted on emotion you said what you felt. I hopr it all works out.
arnptee
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 3:39 PM

She's likened to a rapid metastatic cancer that drains the life out of a person.  Stop it before it consumes you and your daughter.


Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. -Prov 4:23

3sillykids
by on Apr. 28, 2012 at 6:28 PM

No need to feel badly. Actually, I think if more people stood up to gossips, maybe they would learn their lesson. You also don't want your daughter to hear her, thinking this is how she should treat others. I wouldn't feel guilty in the least bit if I were you.

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