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DD had the nerve to say this to me this morning, my Vent.

Posted by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:18 PM
  • 58 Replies

so I been having her wake up now to her alarm clock and its been going good up until today she didn't even hear either of her alarms go off so it was 7:50 when I went in and told her to wake up her alarm clocks are still going off and she said she never even heard them so a fare enough, so she gets up and we go down stairs and she sits at the table looks up at me and tells me I am waisting her time, what that meant was am I going to get her breakfast or what, seriously she knows now that she has to fix her cereal her self and is old enough to do it, why the heck would she have the nerve to say I am waisting her time, so she can get ready for school, she knows well enough that I am having my surgery this Thursday for my back and has to do these things for her self, so she gets her bowl out and the box of cereal out and the milk then pours her cereal and just looks at me like I am standing up to pour her milk and then she never even got a spoon. I just dont understand why she thinks I have to do this, I been on and on over and over with her about doing this for her self every morning but she still thinks its my job. I do give her the speech about what my job is as a mother and on and on and she is older now and has to get some kind of dependence and also that her father isnt going to brush her hair and do this crap for her if I do have to spend a night stay at the hospital what the heck is she going to do, I have been trying to change and get better control and do less for her so she can do more for her self but its a battle when she has no desire or dedication and then the other day she said she was hot so I told her to open her window in her bedroom and she yells out Why dont you ever do anything any more for me when I ask you and I said you can open your own window.

by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
STKsMomma
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:29 PM
4 moms liked this
I would ignore her when she says things like these to you. I have read all of your other posts and to be honest, she is trying to manipulate you. By sating these things she thinks that you will feel guilty for not doing it and then you will do them for her. You woke her up and SHE was late getting up cause SHE chose not to pay attention to her alarms going off and SHE didn't get up. Not your fault! You need to keep it up. Eventually it will sink in, I would stop giving her the talk about her being older and needing to do for herself. She already knows this, it is not new to her! You need to just let her (excuse my language) bitch and moan and not comment on it.

Good luck!
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cleanmoss
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:44 PM

I still cant get over her saying to me, I am waisting her time, even with her serving her self she still has plenty of time to get ready for school and to walk to school since she leaves the house about 8:40 and the school is just up the road for her to walk to it. I guess it does get to me like I am not good enough parent for her that she does want more out of me. I do my best and try to listen to every one on these groups and trying to change for the better since when you been always use to a routine your self and then you change it conflicts all around even to the ones you love. I know she said in the pass that she likes us to tell her what to do and when to do it so doesn't have to take it upon her self to rely on.

Quoting STKsMomma:

I would ignore her when she says things like these to you. I have read all of your other posts and to be honest, she is trying to manipulate you. By sating these things she thinks that you will feel guilty for not doing it and then you will do them for her. You woke her up and SHE was late getting up cause SHE chose not to pay attention to her alarms going off and SHE didn't get up. Not your fault! You need to keep it up. Eventually it will sink in, I would stop giving her the talk about her being older and needing to do for herself. She already knows this, it is not new to her! You need to just let her (excuse my language) bitch and moan and not comment on it.

Good luck!


STKsMomma
by on May. 1, 2012 at 12:50 PM
I totally understand that. But eventually she is going to have to rely on herself. If she ever plans on going to college or getting a job or living by herself or getting married. There will be times in her life you will not be there to tell her what to do!

Quoting cleanmoss:

I still cant get over her saying to me, I am waisting her time, even with her serving her self she still has plenty of time to get ready for school and to walk to school since she leaves the house about 8:40 and the school is just up the road for her to walk to it. I guess it does get to me like I am not good enough parent for her that she does want more out of me. I do my best and try to listen to every one on these groups and trying to change for the better since when you been always use to a routine your self and then you change it conflicts all around even to the ones you love. I know she said in the pass that she likes us to tell her what to do and when to do it so doesn't have to take it upon her self to rely on.


Quoting STKsMomma:

I would ignore her when she says things like these to you. I have read all of your other posts and to be honest, she is trying to manipulate you. By sating these things she thinks that you will feel guilty for not doing it and then you will do them for her. You woke her up and SHE was late getting up cause SHE chose not to pay attention to her alarms going off and SHE didn't get up. Not your fault! You need to keep it up. Eventually it will sink in, I would stop giving her the talk about her being older and needing to do for herself. She already knows this, it is not new to her! You need to just let her (excuse my language) bitch and moan and not comment on it.



Good luck!


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Zamaria
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2012 at 12:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I would stop doing anything at all for her. Nothing. She is plenty old enough to wash her own clothes, male her own food, fix her own hair, etc. Do nothing for her for two weeks and see if her attitude improves. Don't fix her hair, her dinner, remind her to brush her teeth, rush her to make it to the bus on time, remind her to eat breakfast, do her laundry, buy her anything except essential necessities, maybe you could get an air horn and use it if she doesn't wake up on time, or a spray bottle with water, but other than that, nothing. I bet she will be a lot more appreciative by the time two weeks is up.
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heybooboo
by Member on May. 1, 2012 at 12:58 PM
2 moms liked this

Are you not at all bothered by the blatant disrespect your Daughter has towards you?  Had any of my children spoken to me in that manner, there would have been some serious consequences.

Her being more independent is definitely important.  But so is being respectful.

cleanmoss
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:02 PM

see I tell her these things as well, I want her to be supported of her self and do things for her self and not have to rely on some one else to make her choices or plan her life for her and she should be able to just do things for her self but she never see's it like that and even the other night comes in my bedroom to ask me she needs a sip of water instead of walking down stairs get a sip and back into bed, so she made the dogs wake up barked so loud that scared the crap out of me then I couldn't get back to sleep. She knows also if she wakes up and her mouth is dry and scratching she can get a sip of water but don't wake us up.  Do you think me forcing her to do these things will cause her to careless and start hating even more. she dealt with separation anxiety in the past with me since I always done and been with her and it was so bad at times, where in play school the school use to call me up to pick her up because she couldn't stop crying and disturbing the class and was always wanting to be the center of attention and even in like 1st grade she use to follow the teacher around and talk and talk with them so she didn't have to interact with the kids but her one teacher got tired of it and we all had to sit down and deal with this issue.

Quoting STKsMomma:

I totally understand that. But eventually she is going to have to rely on herself. If she ever plans on going to college or getting a job or living by herself or getting married. There will be times in her life you will not be there to tell her what to do!

Quoting cleanmoss:

I still cant get over her saying to me, I am waisting her time, even with her serving her self she still has plenty of time to get ready for school and to walk to school since she leaves the house about 8:40 and the school is just up the road for her to walk to it. I guess it does get to me like I am not good enough parent for her that she does want more out of me. I do my best and try to listen to every one on these groups and trying to change for the better since when you been always use to a routine your self and then you change it conflicts all around even to the ones you love. I know she said in the pass that she likes us to tell her what to do and when to do it so doesn't have to take it upon her self to rely on.


Quoting STKsMomma:

I would ignore her when she says things like these to you. I have read all of your other posts and to be honest, she is trying to manipulate you. By sating these things she thinks that you will feel guilty for not doing it and then you will do them for her. You woke her up and SHE was late getting up cause SHE chose not to pay attention to her alarms going off and SHE didn't get up. Not your fault! You need to keep it up. Eventually it will sink in, I would stop giving her the talk about her being older and needing to do for herself. She already knows this, it is not new to her! You need to just let her (excuse my language) bitch and moan and not comment on it.



Good luck!



M4LG5
by Valeri on May. 1, 2012 at 1:09 PM

Make her do it.  My girls are 5 and 8 years old.  For the most part, if they are capable of doing it on their own....they are responsible for doing it. 

If she is talking crap.....start taking away privileges.  Disrespect is worse in my house.

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 1, 2012 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't be hurt. Instead, I'd be disappointed that my child lacked respect and empathy. I'd probably have a talk about his attitude, demand an apology, and ground him if the attitude continued.

cleanmoss
by on May. 1, 2012 at 1:09 PM

see I can do all this and then her father would under mind it all, I tell him she can do her own teeth but then he gets made and says she not doing good enough that I should go in and brush it for her, well I never listen since she turning 12 years old, she started getting a routine with out us telling her to go do all that stuff but then got lazy again and not caring and does it when made too or forced when threatened and things do get taken away but want her to just do it for the sake of doing it and I did away with the getting paid crap since she learned quickly that she likes money and we cant afford to pay her all the time for things she is suppose to do for her self.

Quoting Zamaria:

I would stop doing anything at all for her. Nothing. She is plenty old enough to wash her own clothes, male her own food, fix her own hair, etc. Do nothing for her for two weeks and see if her attitude improves. Don't fix her hair, her dinner, remind her to brush her teeth, rush her to make it to the bus on time, remind her to eat breakfast, do her laundry, buy her anything except essential necessities, maybe you could get an air horn and use it if she doesn't wake up on time, or a spray bottle with water, but other than that, nothing. I bet she will be a lot more appreciative by the time two weeks is up.


Barabell
by Barbara on May. 1, 2012 at 1:10 PM

Yeah, my son could make his own bowl of cereal at 4 or 5 too--including not forgetting that he needed a spoon.

Quoting M4LG5:

Make her do it.  My girls are 5 and 8 years old.  For the most part, if they are capable of doing it on their own....they are responsible for doing it. 

If she is talking crap.....start taking away privileges.  Disrespect is worse in my house.


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