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Would you let your tween go? **EDIT - UPDATE in RED**

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For a little background, my son and his friend--let's say "M"--have been friends for almost 5 years now. My son will usually spend one or two nights a month over at M's house, and my son has also gone on two weekends trips with M out of town. My son is 12, and M is 10.

Earlier this week, M was at our house, and he said he wanted my son to go to a paintball contest with him next weekend. His older brother (currently 16 or 17 and is not going this year) has gone the last two years, but M has never gone before. I asked for more information about it, and M told me that his dad was willing to take my son and M camping the day before the contest. His dad is not participating in the contest, and M said the dad would "check in occasionally" with the two kids. My response was that we might already have plans this upcoming weekend, but I'll look into it more.

The existing plans fell through, and my son kept telling he wanted to do this paintball thing. So I had him call M and get the website information. This is a summary of some of the rules:

- The organizers consider paintball an "honor" sport, but then they offer a prize of a couple thousand for this competition.

- Over 600 people will be in the event.

- No ages listed in the rules.

- At least two webpages pages said things like: no knives, no traps, no alcohol, no drugs.

So after looking at that website, do you think your tween would still want to go?

Would you let your tween go to a paintball competition like this? Why or why not?

Update: I realized today that I never updated you. I asked my son that Friday night what the status was with the invite. He told me that he told M's parents no because he would have to lie about his age, and he's not comfortable doing that. I guess there was 13 and older age requirement that I couldn't find on the website, and my son was unwilling to lie. I wouldn't have signed a consent form either with false information like that anyhow.

by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Replies (11-20):
Coastiesgirl
by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 5:15 PM
Have you talked to the parent? That would be my first step....
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auroragold
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:17 PM

If I knew a responsible adult would be with him - probably

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 3, 2012 at 5:18 PM


Quoting angelbaby1977:

As long as there is complete adult supervision I would be fine with it.

I already stated in the OP that the dad would check on them occasionally, and the organization is not supervising anything--hence the language in the rules about it being an "honor" contest.

So it's clear that there would not be complete adult supervision.

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 3, 2012 at 5:20 PM


Quoting Coastiesgirl:

Have you talked to the parent? That would be my first step....

Currently, no. What would you ask them to influence your decision? I'm curious because I think there is enough information in OP to make a decision one way or the other.

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 3, 2012 at 5:20 PM


Quoting auroragold:

If I knew a responsible adult would be with him - probably

The dad would only be checking in on the two tweens during this competition. He is not competing in it.

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 3, 2012 at 5:22 PM


Quoting vale131:

I think it would be fine. All events are going to say no weapons, alchohol, etc.

He has to get "in the mix" sometime (if he hasnt already) with older kids if that is what you are concerned about. No, I'm not concerned about that.

The only thing I would be concerned about is how many adults will be there to supervise? Or is it the adults that would be in the competition that would "supervise"? The dad is the only adult that would be there, with the two tween kids, and he is not in the competition. M's parents are free-range parents, and they have no issue letting their child do things without their supervision--even from a much younger age than 10.

I think my son would still love to go. He would have the sense to back off and watch from the sideline if he felt like it was too much for him.


auroragold
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:23 PM


Quoting Barabell:


Quoting auroragold:

If I knew a responsible adult would be with him - probably

The dad would only be checking in on the two tweens during this competition. He is not competing in it.

I read that and wasn't sure exactly what it meant. 

Does it mean the kids are there for 8 hours with big groups and the dad isn't around? That would be a NO for me.

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 3, 2012 at 5:24 PM


Quoting crabbyD:

My dh loves going to paintball and he's been wanting to take my son who's 12yo.  The place where my dh goes does have an age restriction stating that you have to be 12 years or older.  My son really wants to go too, but I'm afraid he'll get hurt.  He fully knows that paintballing entails plus he's a big kid and is still willing to go.... That being said they haven't gone yet, but I'd still worry about injuries... than again if he fully knows what's the deal then all bets are off.  I'll just be praying that he doesn't get hit in the belly or anywhere else!  Boys are something else....

Given that your hubby does a lot of paintball, do you think the enviornment sounds appropriate for two tweens? My son has only done paintball through scouts, and it was only shooting at targets--not other people.

Barabell
by Barbara on May. 3, 2012 at 5:25 PM


Quoting auroragold:


Quoting Barabell:


Quoting auroragold:

If I knew a responsible adult would be with him - probably

The dad would only be checking in on the two tweens during this competition. He is not competing in it.

I read that and wasn't sure exactly what it meant. 

Does it mean the kids are there for 8 hours with big groups and the dad isn't around? That would be a NO for me.

Yes, that is what it means. M clearly said the dad would be there for the camping, but only checking in with the two of them during the competition. Both tweens have cellphones. It's possible that he might just use that to check in with them too.

angelbaby1977
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:26 PM
It says "check in occasionally" it does not state if he would be there the entire time or not. As in there at the event just not competing or dropping them off and leaving entirely.

Quoting Barabell:


Quoting angelbaby1977:

As long as there is complete adult supervision I would be fine with it.

I already stated in the OP that the dad would check on them occasionally, and the organization is not supervising anything--hence the language in the rules about it being an "honor" contest.

So it's clear that there would not be complete adult supervision.

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