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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Would you let your tween go? **EDIT - UPDATE in RED**

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For a little background, my son and his friend--let's say "M"--have been friends for almost 5 years now. My son will usually spend one or two nights a month over at M's house, and my son has also gone on two weekends trips with M out of town. My son is 12, and M is 10.

Earlier this week, M was at our house, and he said he wanted my son to go to a paintball contest with him next weekend. His older brother (currently 16 or 17 and is not going this year) has gone the last two years, but M has never gone before. I asked for more information about it, and M told me that his dad was willing to take my son and M camping the day before the contest. His dad is not participating in the contest, and M said the dad would "check in occasionally" with the two kids. My response was that we might already have plans this upcoming weekend, but I'll look into it more.

The existing plans fell through, and my son kept telling he wanted to do this paintball thing. So I had him call M and get the website information. This is a summary of some of the rules:

- The organizers consider paintball an "honor" sport, but then they offer a prize of a couple thousand for this competition.

- Over 600 people will be in the event.

- No ages listed in the rules.

- At least two webpages pages said things like: no knives, no traps, no alcohol, no drugs.

So after looking at that website, do you think your tween would still want to go?

Would you let your tween go to a paintball competition like this? Why or why not?

Update: I realized today that I never updated you. I asked my son that Friday night what the status was with the invite. He told me that he told M's parents no because he would have to lie about his age, and he's not comfortable doing that. I guess there was 13 and older age requirement that I couldn't find on the website, and my son was unwilling to lie. I wouldn't have signed a consent form either with false information like that anyhow.

by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Replies (21-30):
auroragold
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:27 PM

so what would the dad be DOING this whole time?

And how far away from the site/competion would he be?

Coastiesgirl
by Member on May. 3, 2012 at 5:30 PM
There is plenty of information but I would want to confirm what M said with the parent. It's my child's safety so I don't risk anything. I would probably let him go if the parent confirmed he would be near or would be reachable by cell phone if the boys needed. And my DS would have his cell phone with him at all times. Would they be in the competition or just watching?


Quoting Barabell:


Quoting Coastiesgirl:

Have you talked to the parent? That would be my first step....

Currently, no. What would you ask them to influence your decision? I'm curious because I think there is enough information in OP to make a decision one way or the other.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Wyldbutterfly
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:31 PM
1 mom liked this

If it was just a paint ball game between a few friends, sure! This, no. I'm sorry, I wouldn't let him do it. Those paint balls leave welts when hit with them.

There seems to be no age restrictions either. They will have 30 year olds shooting 12 year olds. No way!

Not to mention, "no weapon, no traps"! That screams to me, at least that they had trouble in the past with just that!

Barabell
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:36 PM

If a dad is just going to check in occasionally, then how would the dad be physically there to supervise the entire time? I'm confused why it's not clear that the dad would not be visually supervising what the kids are doing the whole day. The dad would be at the event grounds, but not participating in the contest. It's an event with over 600 people, which means the event grounds would be HUGE.

Quoting angelbaby1977:

It says "check in occasionally" it does not state if he would be there the entire time or not. As in there at the event just not competing or dropping them off and leaving entirely.

Quoting Barabell:


Quoting angelbaby1977:

As long as there is complete adult supervision I would be fine with it.

I already stated in the OP that the dad would check on them occasionally, and the organization is not supervising anything--hence the language in the rules about it being an "honor" contest.

So it's clear that there would not be complete adult supervision.


Barabell
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:39 PM


Quoting auroragold:

so what would the dad be DOING this whole time?

And how far away from the site/competion would he be?

I do not know what the dad would be going the whole time.

To be honest, after looking at the website--my son decided on his own that it didn't sound safe. So we haven't asked those kinds of questions to M's parents.

But I was really curious to see what other tween parents would think about this situation. :-)

angelbaby1977
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:40 PM
Then he is not just dropping them off and leaving them. My DD is 12 as well and yes I would be fine with her going. Honestly, it doesn't sound like you really want anyone's opinion anyway so I'm not sure why you made the post.

Quoting Barabell:

If a dad is just going to check in occasionally, then how would the dad be physically there to supervise the entire time? I'm confused why it's not clear that the dad would not be visually supervising what the kids are doing the whole day. The dad would be at the event grounds, but not participating in the contest. It's an event with over 600 people, which means the event grounds would be HUGE.

Quoting angelbaby1977:

It says "check in occasionally" it does not state if he would be there the entire time or not. As in there at the event just not competing or dropping them off and leaving entirely.



Quoting Barabell:


Quoting angelbaby1977:

As long as there is complete adult supervision I would be fine with it.

I already stated in the OP that the dad would check on them occasionally, and the organization is not supervising anything--hence the language in the rules about it being an "honor" contest.

So it's clear that there would not be complete adult supervision.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
auroragold
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:41 PM

600 people + 2 tweens - 1 adult = NOPE, not happening

Barabell
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:43 PM


Quoting Wyldbutterfly:

If it was just a paint ball game between a few friends, sure! This, no. I'm sorry, I wouldn't let him do it. Those paint balls leave welts when hit with them.

There seems to be no age restrictions either. They will have 30 year olds shooting 12 year olds. No way!

Not to mention, "no weapon, no traps"! That screams to me, at least that they had trouble in the past with just that!

You summed up exactly how my husband and I feel about it too.

My son actually lost interest after looking at the website, thinking it seemed like a bad event for a first time paintballer that is only 12.

I was just really curious to see what other tween parents thought about the situation. I'm just still surprised that we even had to consider an event like this one....LOL

Barabell
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:44 PM

I do want opinions. I'm curious to see the other POV. So I'd be happy if you explained more.

Quoting angelbaby1977:

Then he is not just dropping them off and leaving them. My DD is 12 as well and yes I would be fine with her going. Honestly, it doesn't sound like you really want anyone's opinion anyway so I'm not sure why you made the post.



Barabell
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:47 PM

I agree about asking more questions as to not risk anything. I didn't talk to the parents because my son hasn't brought it up again. I know M pretty well, and I'm sure the information he told me was accurate. His dad was going to stay there the whole time, but only check in with the kids. I did not ask if it would be a physical check in or only by cellphone. Both my son and M have cellphones, and so that's possible.

The dad was not going to do the competition, only the kids would have been in it.

Quoting Coastiesgirl:

There is plenty of information but I would want to confirm what M said with the parent. It's my child's safety so I don't risk anything. I would probably let him go if the parent confirmed he would be near or would be reachable by cell phone if the boys needed. And my DS would have his cell phone with him at all times. Would they be in the competition or just watching?


Quoting Barabell:


Quoting Coastiesgirl:

Have you talked to the parent? That would be my first step....

Currently, no. What would you ask them to influence your decision? I'm curious because I think there is enough information in OP to make a decision one way or the other.



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