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Would you let your tween go? **EDIT - UPDATE in RED**

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For a little background, my son and his friend--let's say "M"--have been friends for almost 5 years now. My son will usually spend one or two nights a month over at M's house, and my son has also gone on two weekends trips with M out of town. My son is 12, and M is 10.

Earlier this week, M was at our house, and he said he wanted my son to go to a paintball contest with him next weekend. His older brother (currently 16 or 17 and is not going this year) has gone the last two years, but M has never gone before. I asked for more information about it, and M told me that his dad was willing to take my son and M camping the day before the contest. His dad is not participating in the contest, and M said the dad would "check in occasionally" with the two kids. My response was that we might already have plans this upcoming weekend, but I'll look into it more.

The existing plans fell through, and my son kept telling he wanted to do this paintball thing. So I had him call M and get the website information. This is a summary of some of the rules:

- The organizers consider paintball an "honor" sport, but then they offer a prize of a couple thousand for this competition.

- Over 600 people will be in the event.

- No ages listed in the rules.

- At least two webpages pages said things like: no knives, no traps, no alcohol, no drugs.

So after looking at that website, do you think your tween would still want to go?

Would you let your tween go to a paintball competition like this? Why or why not?

Update: I realized today that I never updated you. I asked my son that Friday night what the status was with the invite. He told me that he told M's parents no because he would have to lie about his age, and he's not comfortable doing that. I guess there was 13 and older age requirement that I couldn't find on the website, and my son was unwilling to lie. I wouldn't have signed a consent form either with false information like that anyhow.

by on May. 3, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Replies (51-60):
by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:49 AM

Yes that's what I meant.  I meant the FORMAL invitation should involve the parent.  I had my son invited places and the parents didn't even know! LOL!

Quoting Barabell:

Oh, if my son was going, I would talk to them to get all that information. It's just not unusual for M to bring up the invite before we talk to the parents. It was that way with their camping trip and the weekend trip last year. At this point, the dad still hasn't called me. When my son went camping with them, I did talk to the dad and get all the details. Given that this would involve camping again, I wouldn't even know how my son should pack unless we talked with the dad.

It's possible that my son told M that he didn't want to go. I meant to ask my son about this last night, but we talked about some other things instead and it slipped my mind.

Quoting emilyrosenj:

At that age I always spoke to the parents even his best friends. Especially if he was going somewhere overnight, I need to know details, that's just how I am. Who's going, who's supervising., how long, where...

Quoting Barabell:

That's an interesting POV. To be honest, I don't think I've talked to M's parents in months, and my son and him usually hang out once a week. We communicated a lot when they were younger, and they just spend so much time together that I guess we just haven't found it necessary lately.

Quoting emilyrosenj:

Yes I would, its up to the parent to ask or at the least provide specific info!

Quoting Barabell:

Quoting emilyrosenj:

No I wouldn't if I had to search for info.

So you would say no just based on how my son was asked?

by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:50 AM

Quoting kmrtigger:

Honestly, I think your son would be fine going. From what I have heard about how he acts, and him playing hockey, I am sure he will be fine.You have raised a very smart boy.

But he's your son and  if something doesn't feel right about it to you then don't let him go.

Aw, K, thanks for the confidence in my son. :-) You made my day. Honestly, it's not him that has me concerned, but the other people in the competition and possible lack of adult help/assistance if something does go wrong.

by on May. 4, 2012 at 9:59 AM

If they weren't such good friend, I would see calling them first. Now that I think about it, if it was any other friend I probably would have called the parent(s) right away. But in this case, invites usually generate from M, and every time I have followed up with the parents in the past to see if the parents approved of the invite, they already had. M's parents are pretty willing to take my son to just about anything, even family events. They usually go on a trip every winter break, and they've even said my son could go with them if we were willing to pay the plane ticket (but we're not comfortable with that and my son has sports in the winter...).

Quoting emilyrosenj:

Yes that's what I meant.  I meant the FORMAL invitation should involve the parent.  I had my son invited places and the parents didn't even know! LOL!

Quoting Barabell:

Oh, if my son was going, I would talk to them to get all that information. 

by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:46 AM

Hmmm...I would likely say no then. Seems a little to unsupervised for my

Quoting Barabell:

Quoting fineyouguyswin:

My tween would want to go but no I would not let him. What does the dad will check in with them mean??

I took it to be that meant the dad would be nearby (like at a nearby building/sideline or in the campgrounds) but not in the competition with them. Both the kids have cellphones, and so I assumed it meant he would either meet-up with them or call them at certain times.

by on May. 4, 2012 at 12:33 PM

Yes, its just paintball, hes with a friend and a parent, I would allow it.

by on May. 4, 2012 at 8:27 PM

I would IF there was a division for my son's age group- NOT if there were ppl of all ages! Who knows what rules others (meaning teens & adults) will chose to obey & not ya know. And plus the language!!!! There are somethings a 10 year old is not meant to hear!

by on May. 5, 2012 at 8:55 AM
I would if they would be supervised. But if not no. A adult would have to be with them wt all times.
by on May. 6, 2012 at 2:49 AM

Hell no, I heard that shit hurts!

by on May. 6, 2012 at 2:56 AM
Ehhh, probably not. If my kid were a bit older, like 14? Sure. But with the large number of participants, the fact that your child doesn't really have any experience actually shooting at people, and the dad won't be around much....just wait a few years. In the meantime let him go wild at a paintball range with some friends.
by on May. 31, 2012 at 2:02 PM

BUMP for long overdue update.

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