Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Tween Titans Tween Titans

Fighting with younger kids?

Posted by on May. 4, 2012 at 8:24 PM
  • 7 Replies

My friend has 2 girls ages 8 & 10. Every week they are at their dads from Thursday after school to Friday evening (his 2 days off). Dad has a fiancee who has 2 kids as well (one being a 4 year old boy). The girls were outside playing with the 4 year old soon to be stepbrother last week unsupervised by dad or fiancee. Well apparently the 4yo decided he was going to beat up the 8yo (he actually left bruises & scracthes on her). The 10yo stepped up & pulled the 4yo off her sister. When they went in to tell dad his response was "oh well"!!!

Mom was glad that her DDs didn't beat up a 4yo, but then when she saw the bruises & scratches she was LIVID! She ended up taking pictures of all the bruises & scratches from the 4yo because mom & dad are currently in a custody battle & she wanted to make sure that the guardian sees the pictures.

She told me that she ended up telling her DD that she needs to stand up for herself. NOT to throw the 1st punch, but to not just stand there & let the 4yo beat her up. And she told them that if their dad said something to them about beating up a 4yo then they were to tell him that mom said to defend themselves if someone is beating them up!

Do you think the mom was right in telling her girls this? What would you have done in this case?

by on May. 4, 2012 at 8:24 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
DannieLou
by on May. 4, 2012 at 10:41 PM

 Yikes. Well, since the girls did the right thing the first time around and the dad did nothing, I would probably have done the same. The 4yo shouldn't get away with that kind of behavior just because he's younger. Hopefully the first time the 4yo gets a taste of his own medicine, he'll knock it off!

kmrtigger
by on May. 4, 2012 at 11:36 PM

I am in agreement with Dannielou. I think it is okay for the girls to defend themselves.

Anica81
by on May. 5, 2012 at 1:28 AM


Quoting DannieLou:

 Yikes. Well, since the girls did the right thing the first time around and the dad did nothing, I would probably have done the same. The 4yo shouldn't get away with that kind of behavior just because he's younger. Hopefully the first time the 4yo gets a taste of his own medicine, he'll knock it off!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Wyldbutterfly
by on May. 5, 2012 at 5:38 AM

I can understand the Mom being angry and telling her children to defend themselves. But who she should really be angry at is her Children's father who did absolutely nothing about the situation. My advice would have been to restrain, not retaliate.

kmrtigger
by on May. 6, 2012 at 6:50 PM


Quoting Wyldbutterfly:

I can understand the Mom being angry and telling her children to defend themselves. But who she should really be angry at is her Children's father who did absolutely nothing about the situation. My advice would have been to restrain, not retaliate.

While I agree with you, I think the girls should also learn to know when it's okay to fight back and when it's okay to go tell an adult. And since they have told an adult, now it's time to fight back.

I think the mom also needs to sit down with the dad and his GF and talk about this situation, before it becomes worse.

Wyldbutterfly
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:04 PM


Quoting kmrtigger:


Quoting Wyldbutterfly:

I can understand the Mom being angry and telling her children to defend themselves. But who she should really be angry at is her Children's father who did absolutely nothing about the situation. My advice would have been to restrain, not retaliate.

While I agree with you, I think the girls should also learn to know when it's okay to fight back and when it's okay to go tell an adult. And since they have told an adult, now it's time to fight back.

I think the mom also needs to sit down with the dad and his GF and talk about this situation, before it becomes worse.

Absolutely, they shouls know when to fight back. I also agree with sitting down with the kids Dad and his GF.

CampClan
by on May. 6, 2012 at 8:06 PM

 

Quoting kmrtigger:


Quoting Wyldbutterfly:

I can understand the Mom being angry and telling her children to defend themselves. But who she should really be angry at is her Children's father who did absolutely nothing about the situation. My advice would have been to restrain, not retaliate.

While I agree with you, I think the girls should also learn to know when it's okay to fight back and when it's okay to go tell an adult. And since they have told an adult, now it's time to fight back.

I think the mom also needs to sit down with the dad and his GF and talk about this situation, before it becomes worse.

 Sadly the only way they CAN talk is via email because he is a violent & manipulative man. Anytime mom emails dad regarding the kids schedule he turns around & blasts her about her business & what he says is not related to the kids. And the 1st impression mom got of the GF was when mom went to pick up the girls from Dad's & the GF made the girls go to the basement & be quiet & the GF lied about the girls not being there claiming Dad had them with him (when he was at work & mom knew this).

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN