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When is it the right time?

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My oldest son is about to turn 11.  I know he's going to start hitting puberty soon. ( I am so dreading it.  Why do they have to grow up so fast?)  My question is, when is the right time to start talking to him about the changes he is about to go through?  How do I even begin to have "The Talk" with him?  I know it's probably my husband's job but he procrastinates on everything and I dont want my son to start junior high in the fall without at least some knowledge of what he will be facing soon.  He's a nervous kid and doesn't deal well with change.  Help me out Moms.  What should I do?

by on May. 14, 2012 at 10:28 AM
Replies (11-14):
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2012 at 9:27 AM

A book is a great way to start out. Since he will be start ing Jr. high, maybe you could start a conversation w/ "Hey, since some of the other boys will be older than you, you might notice. . ." and go from there.

Ds1 started needing deodorant in 2nd gr and noticed fuzzy underarm hair in 4th gr, so you do need to have some conversations asap. 

It's been a bit easier on us w/ ds2 b/c 1. he's ot developing as early as ds1, and 2. he's heard some of our conversations w/ ds1, and sees his big brother naked, so he knows what's coming. 

We frequently remind all 3 kids that they can come talk to us about anything, and that includes letting the boys know I can answer some "boy" questions and dd can go to dh w/ some basic "girl" questions.






by on May. 16, 2012 at 10:07 AM

I don't have the "big talk" I casually and age appropriately talk to my boys and Always have.  My boy's father, my ex, is in Afghanastan and has been for a while- when my oldest started shaving (Yikes!  He's 13!) my brother helped him. 

In school they have had talks with the children separated by sex since Kindergarten!!!  I always talk to my boys before/and after to make sure the info they heard was consistent with my moral/spiritual beliefs. 

I dont go for that it's dad's job... but they certainly have personal experience in ways we don't ;).  You have very valuable info too. 

Suggestion: start casually, importance of hygience, as body develops and changes from boyhood to young adult info, etc.  Good Luck, relax and you will do Great!!!

by on May. 16, 2012 at 11:19 AM

I would start now. My 9 year old is already starting changes we are going to start talking soon

by on May. 16, 2012 at 12:46 PM

i like the book idea.  my son will be 11 in july and has already started growing hair in new places.  

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