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Tween Titans Tween Titans

WWYD?

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 6:25 PM
  • 8 Replies

I work at a daycare where my 4 kids attend (well 4 out of 5 attend the oldest is 16). My 12yo DD got into a fight today & I don't know how to handle it. Another girl (who is known as a bully at the daycare) told my DD that her sunglasses were fake. My DD ("B") & the other girl (I will call "K") got into a yelling match calling each other fake & K called B & her whole family white trash. B pulled K's hair & K turned around & threw a punch at B. I guess from what I was told by the director & the teacher involved the only male teacher we have (who is like 6 foot 6 & very big) had to come between the girls & pull K off B. Both girls got written up for it. The rule is 3 write ups & you get suspended from daycare. If the incident happens again then the child gets kicked out of daycare. (I personally told my DD 2 more write ups & she gets kicked out).

My question to you ladies is- should I ground my daughter? She DID pull the other girls hair first. But at the same time- as some other teachers who heard about it said- she was defending her family. IMO I think the other teachers are being biased because it's a co-workers DD. But on the other hand this other girl is a bully (not the 1st time she has caused trouble & gotten in trouble for it).

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 6:25 PM
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Replies (1-8):
abmaddox1981
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 6:34 PM
2 moms liked this
I think a small restriction just to enforce to her that violence is not always the best way to handle it. I got bullied a lot in school, called names, kids called my family white trash because we lived in a trailer and bought our clothes at 2nd hand stores and walmart. Yeah, it hurts. But at the end of the day it's just words.
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CampClan
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 6:54 PM

 Right now she is doing the dishes (which is one of her chores anyway) while the rest of us watch tv & play video games. Next she will be folding the laundry in my room (cuz she gets distracted anywhere else). I was going to ground her all night & all of tomorrow. BUT her dad is off tomorrow & we are divorced so he will be getting them for half the day. I don't want her to be punished when she sees her dad because they don't get to see him that often (maybe 2 times a week for like 4 hours total if it's during my work week).

Quoting abmaddox1981:

I think a small restriction just to enforce to her that violence is not always the best way to handle it. I got bullied a lot in school, called names, kids called my family white trash because we lived in a trailer and bought our clothes at 2nd hand stores and walmart. Yeah, it hurts. But at the end of the day it's just words.

 

auroragold
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 9:02 AM

Sorry but I think a punishment is due.

Words are just words and - no matter how offensive - do not warrant a physical action.


And the other girl's past behavior doesn't count to me either. Each incident should be taken on it's own as far as REACTION by your child.  Hopefully you've addressed the "bully's" behavior with the administrators at the program each and every time.

Zamaria
by Silver Member on Jun. 16, 2012 at 9:08 AM
I agree with this. I teach my kids that they NEVER initiate a physical fight. They're free to finish it, but don't start it.


Quoting auroragold:

Sorry but I think a punishment is due.

Words are just words and - no matter how offensive - do not warrant a physical action.


And the other girl's past behavior doesn't count to me either. Each incident should be taken on it's own as far as REACTION by your child.  Hopefully you've addressed the "bully's" behavior with the administrators at the program each and every time.


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psych_mom
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 9:26 AM

I agree with this.

Quoting auroragold:

Sorry but I think a punishment is due.

Words are just words and - no matter how offensive - do not warrant a physical action.


And the other girl's past behavior doesn't count to me either. Each incident should be taken on it's own as far as REACTION by your child.  Hopefully you've addressed the "bully's" behavior with the administrators at the program each and every time.


kmrtigger
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 12:15 AM

Exactly. I agree with this as well.

Quoting auroragold:

Sorry but I think a punishment is due.

Words are just words and - no matter how offensive - do not warrant a physical action.


And the other girl's past behavior doesn't count to me either. Each incident should be taken on it's own as far as REACTION by your child.  Hopefully you've addressed the "bully's" behavior with the administrators at the program each and every time.


Barabell
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:40 PM

In your place, we would still give a minor punishment and have a talk with our child about ways the situation could have been handled better in the future.

M4LG5
by Valeri on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:42 PM


Quoting Barabell:

In your place, we would still give a minor punishment and have a talk with our child about ways the situation could have been handled better in the future.

agree

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