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So I was told about the terrible 2's but no one ever warned me about the 9's

Posted by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 2:25 AM
  • 23 Replies

OMG!  My 9 year old must of gone and lost her mind.  She has had a bad, really bad attitude lately.  The I am not doing what you tell me to and you can't make me so there!  This attitiude started about two months ago.  My little one was sick and we had in-laws in from out of town that I was having to wait on hand and foot while my husband was gone from dawn and until after dusk every night.  I had asked her to do something and she just sat there.  I again asked her and she just gave me that make me look.  At that point I turned the TV off and told her that she needed to get up and go do what was asked of her.  (I cannot remember what it was).  She started back talking me, so I told her that if she wants to act like that she can go to her room because no one wants to listen to that kind of behavior.  She sat on the floor and said no I am not going to my room or doing what you want.  (Well the doing what you want, she said what I was actually asking her to do).  So at this point I had had it.  I picked her up and carried her to her room, kicking and screaming.  After that she opened her door and yelled you can't make me do anything and started slamming her door.  So I very calmly got the pliers (the little one was sleeping, well trying to) and took her door off.  While trying to do this I am being pushed and hit.  When she calmed down I told her that her behavior was not allowed and we talked about it.  I also told her that she was grounded for as long as she did not have a door.  

Here is how the no-door policy goes

Day one- you loose your door

Day two, three and four - if you have good behavior you earn back one pin per day.  If you have an attitude you will not earn a pin.  If you have an attitude 2 days in a row you will loose a pin you have already earned back.

Day five - earn the door back

So that length of grounding is 5 days minimal.  She decides how long she is grounded for.


Well again the other night we had one of this mood swings.  What made me so mad about this one is the lack of support from the husband.  He just sat on the couch messing on his computer, GRRR.  So I am trying to deal with (mood swing, attitude,  or what ever you want to call it) while he just sits there.  Then she hits me and I ask him for some back up and support and he tells me to chill out and that I am handling it all worng.  So at this point I am so mad I left.  I crabed my purse and left at 11:30 at night.  I have never been that mad before.  Yes she was still up.  I had been trying to get her to go to bedfor the past 3 hours.  Shower, teeth, and then she saw a bug in on her bed.  She had just stayed the night at a friends house and thought it came back from there.  So we told her to take every thing off her bed and I would wash it.  Well that is what set the attitude off, she wanted someone else to do it.  Meanless to say at 11:30 when she hit me I took my purse and left.  I was not going to do any good at home at that point.  I need a break!


Please tell me that I am not the only one going through this?  Please tell me this shall pass or at least until she is a teen? 


by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 2:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Lovingmomfarm
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 2:26 AM

oops sorry I forgot to hit spell check, it is late.  

styler7
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 10:35 AM
2 moms liked this
Hold tight. There's still the terrible 10's, 11's, 12's....etc..lol
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psych_mom
by Stacy on Jun. 19, 2012 at 1:11 PM
Are you doing any other discipline?
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M4LG5
by Valeri on Jun. 19, 2012 at 2:15 PM

One, you and your husband need to get on the same page and be each other's support system.  This is a must.

Two, yes, the attitude needs to stop.  I am not so sure about your door-policy being the best idea but if you think it works, continue until it doesn't.  She is absolutely sounding like a 2 year old throwing a tantrum.  At some point when things are not heated or the attitude is not there, pull her to the side and talk.  Ask her why she is acting that way and how you and her can make it better.  Talk to her about your expectations of her and ask her what she would like from you. 

kmrtigger
by Kandice on Jun. 19, 2012 at 11:24 PM


Quoting M4LG5:

One, you and your husband need to get on the same page and be each other's support system.  This is a must.

Two, yes, the attitude needs to stop.  I am not so sure about your door-policy being the best idea but if you think it works, continue until it doesn't.  She is absolutely sounding like a 2 year old throwing a tantrum.  At some point when things are not heated or the attitude is not there, pull her to the side and talk.  Ask her why she is acting that way and how you and her can make it better.  Talk to her about your expectations of her and ask her what she would like from you. 

This is such great advice!!!!

vreed0608
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 9:26 AM
The no door policy is good if it works. My 9 year old DD is almost my size. If she ever raise her hands to me my first reaction would be to grab a belt. I do believe in whooping if a child needs it. At 9 she is already hitting you when she gets mad at you. The girls I know who hit their moms as kids had full fledge, knock down fights with them as teens. Are you looking at any other punishments if taking her door doesn't change anything?
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Mom2jngnc
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 11:06 AM

 I have taken away the door for slamming it.
However, there is usually something else going on that was disciplined for. I don't believe in a "one discipline method fits all crimes" approach, I also don't believe that as parents we should be our childs "friend."
We are parents how they behave, at any age, reflects on us.

As far as being hit by my child, well lets just say it wouldn't end nicely.

Stephannie, wife to John, Mom to John, Garrett, CJ and Alex
full-time Auntie to Carly-Ann

 
New York Moms
Join us on The New York Moms Group! - - NY Moms Group Mod

psych_mom
by Stacy on Jun. 20, 2012 at 12:04 PM

Still waiting to hear if you do any other method of discipline? Because it sounds like she needs more than just the door being taken away, especially with her hitting you.

minimo77
by Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 2:01 PM

I would NOT be okay with a kid hitting me, and much less a useless husband who does nothing! I dont blame you for leaving at 11:30 at night....I would have too. 

I would say, if that dosnt help, she can go to her empty room, with NOTHING in it, just a bed and a blanket. No toys, books, tv, NOTHING. See how she likes it. Make it harder for her to earn things back. Good luck!

Lovingmomfarm
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 11:23 PM

Yes we use many different forms of punishments.  It all depends on what she does.  She lost her door because she slammed the door.  Some others for example are: if she does not pick up her towel she gets to use a dirty towel, if she does not put her dirty clothes in the the washroom she wears dirty clothes, she back talks she gets her mouth washed out with soap (now please don't get me wrong just saying no once does not get soap in the mouth, I mean a full back fledged back talk).  When she gets grounded there is not TV, no phone (and she does not own a cell phone, I am saying she does not get to call her frineds), no DS, no Ipad, no electronic devices of any type, no play dates, no sleep overs, there is a lot of reading though.  It works for her it makes a point.   This was the first time she ever hit me and I hope that is is the last.  

Once she has chiled out we always talk about what happened and why and how it can be prevented.  

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