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Tween Titans Tween Titans

He adores his big sister

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:17 AM
  • 6 Replies
But half the time she can't stand him. Ds is 4 and dd is 11. He wants to do everything she does. He wants to follow her around. He wants to be in the middle of everything. She squeals and screams 'get out of my room' 'go away'

How do I get him to understand she needs space? How do I get her to understand he deserves a little bit of her time?
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by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:17 AM
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Replies (1-6):
psych_mom
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:38 AM

Maybe you could plan things for them to do together and make sure that she has her own separate time. I try to always make sure that my 11 year old has his own separate time away from his siblings even if he has to go spend the night at grandma's house because it is very important to him. Let her know that she doesn't have to scream at him and that you are going to try different ways of working this out so they are both getting what they want.

mariC67
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 9:18 AM

I really cant help much there, we had a situation with my ds and dd were that age that solved the problem on its own.

Now this happened when i was at work and there was supposed to be a responsible sitter watching the kids but they had fallen asleep on the couch. My dd and ds had wandered out to the apt complex's playground where an older boy of 15 started picking on my dd it turned into a physical confrontation between them and ds did his best to help his sister, jumping on the teenagers back and punching him on the head, the teenager literally threw ds several feet to which dd responded by screaming your not gonna hurt my little brother and attacked said teen, and ds got up and promptly jumped back on the boy again...all of which was too much for him and he ran away.

I can laugh at this now since ds is now 13 and dd going on 20, and no one was injured (and the boy never messed with dd or ds again) but dd never complained about her little brother ever again after that

steelcrazy
by Silver Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:18 AM

I wish that I knew of a solution for ya.  Luckily my boys are only 3 years apart in age, but I grew up with a brother 10 years younger than me and he was sooooo annoying.  I hated that my mother always expected me to look after him when I was outside with the neighbor girls and my sister, all of whom were within a year or two of my age.  There was no one living near us that was my brother's age though, so things may have been better if my mother had cousins/friends over to keep him entertained a little more often.  Then I would have gotten time alone with my friends too.

Babujai
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:18 AM

I'm guessing your situation is complicated by the fact that they're a girl and boy.  I have two boys, so it's easier to get them to play together a little and then make sure they have some time apart as well. 

If I were you, I'd appeal to your daughter's instinct to take care of her little brother, humor him a little and explain that if she give him a little of his time, he'll be more likely to give her a little time to herself.  Then explain the situation to her little brother as well.  That he needs to give her alone time to get together time.  That'll be hard for him to understand because he's so young, but with frequent reminders he should get it.

momof2ex1
by Member on Jun. 26, 2012 at 2:25 PM
I dont ever leave her in charge. He doesn't go out side with out a parent. She goes off and rides her bike and he will cry at the door but I wouldn't trust her to keep an eye on him only because he is only 4 and unpredictable. She's not old enough to babysit either. She is just learning to stay on her own. Babysitting isn't something we are comfortable with.

She gets time away from him bc she goes to her dad's every other weekend. He doesn't go anywhere bc he is mine with my husband. When she is home, ds has missed her so much he just wants to be in her face. And I can understand she might like some down time to readjust to being back. I make sure she gets it but he misses her so much when she is gone, this is hard.

Thanks for the advice. I'm going to try talking to both of them to find out what the situation is and what her problem is with him. I remember my siblings were so annoyed by me so I sympathize with ds more because it's just hurtful.


Quoting steelcrazy:

I wish that I knew of a solution for ya.  Luckily my boys are only 3 years apart in age, but I grew up with a brother 10 years younger than me and he was sooooo annoying.  I hated that my mother always expected me to look after him when I was outside with the neighbor girls and my sister, all of whom were within a year or two of my age.  There was no one living near us that was my brother's age though, so things may have been better if my mother had cousins/friends over to keep him entertained a little more often.  Then I would have gotten time alone with my friends too.


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fineyouguyswin
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 2:47 PM

We struggle with the same thing :O(

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