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Frustrated...Need some help. 11-yr old bed wetting still...

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Hello. As the title says, I am very frustrated. My 11, almost 12-year old daughter is STILL wetting the bed. I am very frustrated about this. I suppose I should give some background: She had no problem potty training and started at eighteen months. By three she was completely potty trained but then around 4-years old she started to have bed wetting problems. Her dad and I split up in December of 2005, after she turned five and I had twin boys (same dad but he left us) in February 2006. She continued with the bed wetting and it's been this long. Last year, I thought she already had a handle on it but she's been doing it almost every night. She hasn't started her menstrual but I'm afraid of what will happen when she does. I've asked her pediatrician about this and all he told me was something about how some kids take longer than others to learn bladder control. But this is ridiculous. When she wets the bed, I try not to get angry about it but she just did it again tonight and I woke her up frustrated and upset about it. 

I've tried having her not drink anything at least two hours before bed, reminding her to use the bathroom before she sleeps, and then waking her up to go to the bathroom about two hours after she sleeps. Sometimes though, say she sleeps at 10pm, by midnight she's already wet and then this upsets me again. I don't know what to do about this. The pediatrician did mention buying some thing to help wake her up at night to go to the bathroom but I don't know how effective it would be and if it would even work. She's such a heavy sleeper, she cannot even hear her alarm or me trying to wake her up. 

Has anyone else gone through this? I've thought about sending her to a psychologist because I thought maybe, with all she's gone through (dad leaving & brothers being born within two months of each other, plus my own PPD after the birth and my current depression & anxiety and frustrations of being a single parent) it's affected her. 

Does anyone know if a psychologist/therapist would help? Any other advice would be greatly appreciated. With her almost turning 12 & the fact that she will get her period soon, it worries and frustrates me. 

Thank you in advance for any and all help & advice you can give me. 
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 8:39 AM
Replies (31-32):
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 2:06 PM

it happens sometimes to me. I am 15 years old. sometimes it happens only 1 every 2 weeks other times it happens like 2-3 times a week.  I try not to drink before bedtime but sometimes it happens, if i don't drink, and sometimes i drink before going to bed and i wake up dry. its very werid.   and the same things happens to me like I noticed the other day I went to bed at like 2am, and when i wroke up for something at 5am I already had an accident my goodnight was wet.  

by Member on Aug. 12, 2012 at 7:44 PM

 I would first ask for a physical to rule out any medical problems.

My kids were/are all bedwetters with no medical reason (my husband and I both were as well). When my oldest was 8 I used a betwetting alarm. It can take up to 12 weeks to work, but for him it only took 6 weeks to train his brain and he's been dry ever since with only maybe 3 accidents in the past 4 years!! He's on the autism spectrum and we had tried so many things (no meds)- trying to limits drinks, get him up several times a night, etc. and none of it worked- and I had A LOT of doubt that the alarm would work and was starting to give up hope that he would EVER be dry at night- but the alarm was a life-saver.

My daughter is now 8 and we are currently using it for her. So far she's worn it for 4 nights. The first 2 nights she wet and the alarm sounded once each night. The past 2 nights she's been dry. With the alarm when they are dry for 2 straight weeks you can stop, so we'll see what happens.

After she's trained we'll start in with the 7yo. Although maybe next summer, as the pediatrician doesn't recommend doing it during the school year because it disrupts their sleep temporarily.

Anyway, for what it's worth, I'm a believer!

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