How Do You Do It

[lovingmommy2000]

I have a 10 yr. old daughter but I can't seem to get her to listen to me it seems like she listens more to her dad more then me here an example she was bouncing the ball in the house and I asked her nicely to stop doing it and she asked me why but as soon as her dad heard her answer to me he asked her to stop it right now and she stopped right away its like she's not afraid of me I've asked my husband why she listens to him and not to me and his reply was because she's more afraid of him then me I have tried everything to get her to listen to me I just feel like I can scream uggh 

[msbusychild]

I have the same problem. My 11yo listens fine, but my 9 year old never listens to me! But he totally listens to his dad without question. I dunno.....

[catngabsmom]

In my house dh is the one not listened to, I am the disciplinarian. If one of my girls was bouncing a ball in the house, dh would tell them to stop, they would question and argue with him, I walk in the room, give the "look" and the ball is put away immediately. I am not quite sure how I became the "mean" one, but since I am with them 95% of the time, it is a good thing. Wish I could help.

[our3]

Your letting her get away with it. To change the problem you need to become the mom. Make her do it, if she disobeys she gets a consiquence. If she back talk or gives attitude she gets a consiquence. You have to stick to it and not back down. My kids know respects if my hugest thing here, they know that if they disobey , give attitude, back talk ect there will be a punishment. As a result of them knowing this, I have kids who behave about 95% of the time. Sure their not perfect and I dont expect them to be, but they will learn respect.

[psych_mom]

I agree with our3. You have to put yourself in that position of authority for them to listen to you completely.

[TempestRayne]

Show her who's boss.

[M4LG5]

Quoting catngabsmom:

In my house dh is the one not listened to, I am the disciplinarian. If one of my girls was bouncing a ball in the house, dh would tell them to stop, they would question and argue with him, I walk in the room, give the "look" and the ball is put away immediately. I am not quite sure how I became the "mean" one, but since I am with them 95% of the time, it is a good thing. Wish I could help.

That's EXACTLY how it is in my house too.  For us, I think the reason is that my husband has a soft tone and even if he raises his voice, it's not attention getting....KWIM?  He also doesn't handle those situations well.  For example, if they are not listening, he will repeat himself and then go over the top with the discipline so they seem confused.  I go directly to them, look them in the eyes and say, "I told you to stop bouncing the ball because its loud and echos in the house.  If you want to go bounce a ball, go outside."  I almost always telling them why also or give them a choice....stop bouncing vs. go outside. Going directly to them and having them look in your eyes is extremely important IMO.