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Do you search your tweens room?

Posted by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 9:22 AM
  • 8 Replies

I ask this because mine (my cousin who lives with us) keeps taking things and hiding them in her room. I went in there to get a pin (she said i could before she went to school) and i found a drawer full of candy and chips. Then i found a bunch, like half the box of band aids in another drawer and some pills. Now i don't know if i should put it all back or ask her about it.

Its like i don't want her eating but she is sneaking it in her room. Like this morning she came and grabbed a juice box , didnt say anything and was hiding it from me when i turned around. its now in her trash can in her room (empty)

I just don'e know how to handle this. Oh and the chips are the ones i use for the kids lunch and she hasnt been wanting to take a lunch so i use them for my son.

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 9:22 AM
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by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 9:41 AM

you should have a sit down talk with her and find out why she's doing it.  i don't want to scare you but when i was 13 i started hiding food in my room because i was afraid to eat in front of people.  that started an eating disorder that lasted until i was 17.  i didn't have anyone, like you, that noticed.  don't freak out at her just sit and talk.  my kids at a point would sneak granola bars, cookies, etc. because they thought that was the only way they were allowed to have a treat.  i had to explain to them that i don't mind if they have it but sometimes i am going to say no.  if it's something that you're limiting because you don't want to buy a whole bunch of it explain that you buy this much and when it's gone that's it until next grocery day.  

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 9:57 AM
Have a talk with her. I don't regularly search my 13 year old's room, but I don't feel guilty at all about having a look around when I feel the need. He is well aware that I do this. I tell him I that I will be checking it whenever I feel it's necessary. And sometimes I do it just check up on him. Don't feel guilty about it.
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by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 10:03 AM

I don't search my kids' room right now, but if I feel the need, I will, especially as they get older. I agree with the other two ladies- have a talk with her.

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 10:16 AM
I give all my kids degrees of privacy but I am the parent and if I feel it is needed I have an all access pass to their rooms! In this case I feel your pain, my just turned 13 yr old has had this issue for awhile now. I check his room regularly and if food items are found he gets to clean with supervision and looses video games for two to three days. It has not completely stopped the behavior but has slowed it tremendously.

I understand this is not your child but she is living in your home and should be expected to follow your rules!
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by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 10:56 AM
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Did you keep the pills?
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by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 12:46 PM
Quoting styler7:

Did you keep the pills?

The pills are not mine or from this house but they are for menstrual cycles... She doesn't have hers yet.
by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 8:01 PM

Nope never ever search :O) you will lose their trust.

by on Aug. 22, 2012 at 11:02 PM

About once a month I venture into the UNKNOWN in search for undewear socks and dishes and such.  If I find something to be concerned about or an odd item I ask my son about it.  I find all kinds of stuff that usually aren't important (bra and pantie ads); chuckle and leave it knowing that at 12 at least he likes girls.  When I found the knives; we had a sit down and calmly and quietly confronted him with our concerns and fears.  Turns out he was having nightmares about coyotes from the movie "Back at the Barnyard".  We've found that he responds better to the "When I was about your age...." type of stories that validate his emotions because it lets him know that he isn't alone or the only one going thru whatever it is.

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