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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Middle school and mean girls...

Posted by on Sep. 13, 2012 at 5:08 PM
  • 31 Replies

  My dd is 11 and just started 6th grade. She is coming home upset because she has no friends. She said the people who she was friends with last year treat her like she is invisible. I am worried for her self esteem. I know middle school can be hard. I need some advice on this to help her better.

by on Sep. 13, 2012 at 5:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
fineyouguyswin
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 6:36 AM
1 mom liked this

:O( I hate this. And it starts so early! A little boy told my 4 year old he didn't want to be her friends because she wasn't beautiful! WTF?!? I was so upset she was crying at 4 years old about this.

mommyintraining
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 6:44 AM
8 moms liked this

I would try and get her involved w/ outside activities in which she is interested, dance, gymnastics, art classes, choir, theater....she can find friends through these avenues as well. You can consider her having a party of some type, sleepover etc. and have her invite a few girls at school who she would like to know better and see if this helps bring her closer to any of them. Good luck, I know this must be very hard for both of you. 

lini1008
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 6:48 AM
1 mom liked this
I hate this


Burnedette
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 6:58 AM
1 mom liked this
It's terrible, we moved to another district last year so my dd (9) then now (10) had to switch schools and she was crying for almost a whole semester before she made friends. So I feel your pain. *hugs*
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Wyldbutterfly
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 7:19 AM
1 mom liked this

I can't stand the middle school years and this is partly the reason.

At this point my advice for you is to find her something she is interested in at school. Do they have any clubs or activities that she can join? With that she may be able to find some girls with common interests and that is always a good starting point for friendship.

TempestRayne
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 7:26 AM
1 mom liked this

extracurriculars may help. somethign where se is out and about amongst children her own age. Like girl scouts, rainbow girls, things like that.  even dance class.

autiemama516
by on Sep. 14, 2012 at 8:29 AM

Thank you to all who respnded. I have joined her in our church choir and she also does Girl Scouts. The only problem is that starting last year Scouts has been getting cliquey. The leaders daughter is the most popular girl in the troop. She and her friends do not invite her to their gatherings or parties. I wish we could change troops but I don't know if it is possible. She likes scouts but doesn't talk to anyone there. To be honest, when I was her age it was the worst time of my life.I am trying to look into some type of dance or gymnastics lessons that may gain her some friends out of school. I also asked her if 6th graders can join the middle school clubs as she loves art. I am hoping she can find a few girls to hang out with.

Morrigan333
by Bronze Member on Sep. 17, 2012 at 12:27 PM

Sorry, none for you here, my dd is in the exact same boat. here dd walks by them and they callout to her "there goes the crazy girl", and "AMYYYYYY(not her real name) don't cross the street". in a mean sing-songy,loud voice that everybody at the bus stop heard, and of course they all looked at my dd. The school principal seems to be too busy tyingto be thesekids friendsinsteadof doing her job and making them stick to the "Code of Conduct" and their school motto "Eagle pride"      Yet the principalseemsto thinkwhat they're doing isn't bullying, harassmentorintimidation, Boy is she a dunce!

Uzma_mom_of_2
by on Sep. 17, 2012 at 12:44 PM
1 mom liked this

You can go to another troop without any problems. Just have to transfer your daughters information to another troop. 

Quoting autiemama516:

Thank you to all who respnded. I have joined her in our church choir and she also does Girl Scouts. The only problem is that starting last year Scouts has been getting cliquey. The leaders daughter is the most popular girl in the troop. She and her friends do not invite her to their gatherings or parties. I wish we could change troops but I don't know if it is possible. She likes scouts but doesn't talk to anyone there. To be honest, when I was her age it was the worst time of my life.I am trying to look into some type of dance or gymnastics lessons that may gain her some friends out of school. I also asked her if 6th graders can join the middle school clubs as she loves art. I am hoping she can find a few girls to hang out with.


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Queenahrts
by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 12:06 AM
1 mom liked this

Ugh I hate that. Last year in grade 5 dd had the exact same problem. Also, since she started school in kindergarten there have been a group of 3 other girls she hangs out with. The ringleader is the epitome of the word bully. She divides and conquers, chooses different girls in the group every day to ostracize and make into an outcast. She insists the rest of the group follow her lead and treat that one girl badly until she decides it's time to switch and bring that girl back in and toss out a different one. This started in kindergarten. Six years later she is doing the same thing, though a couple of the other girls (dd included) have stopped following her lead like puppies. She still has the power, though, as she is one of the most popular girls in the grade. So one day dd will be part of the "in" crowd, and the next sitting on the sidelines like a beaten puppy. So I understand about the mean girls, especially at this age. I've tried to raise dd to include everyone, and this is what she does, to her own detriment at times. Making a new student feel welcome can make my dd an outcast for talking to someone who's not "cool" enough.

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