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Tween Titans Tween Titans

Raising Tweens: Get Advice Here!

The tween years are tough. Your 'babies' are growing up fast and it's just as hard for them as it is for you. Get through the preteens with advice from moms who've been there!

We've collected the BEST answers to all your tween questions, gathered from the experiences and opinions of moms like you. Find them right here!

PUBERTY

The Birds & The Bees:

Preteen Body Changes:

Starting Menstruation:

HEALTH & HYGIENE

Preteens & Sexual Health:

Preteens & Hygiene:

Preteen Acne:

Emotional Health in Preteens:

Preteens & Appearance:

Find more advice for moms, from CafeMoms here: 

by on Sep. 18, 2012 at 4:52 PM
Replies (11-16):
dreaming0616
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 3:38 PM

I don't know where to start, so I guess I will start here.  There are a couple of issues... 

I am at my wits end with my oldest DD.  She's a lot older than her little sister, over 6 years, and I understand that they don't play in the same social circles, however I have asked her on several occassions to help her sister out when she's being picked on.  My youngest is very small for her age and boys always seem to pick on her and push her around.  They both go to Daycare after school for only a couple hours a week, and I have asked that my oldest DD keep a close watch on her sister.  Well in the past couple days the same little boy has burried my daughters shoes in the sandbox, twice, ruining both pairs, threw her jacket over the blockwall fence, and yesterday the same little boy proceeded to throw muddied sand at her.  When I got there the teachers were trying to get the sand out of her and she was soaked from head to toe.  I asked her sister, "where were you when this happened" and she said that she wasn't paying attention to Caiti that it's not her job to take care of Cait.  I don't know how many times I have told her, that as a big sister it's nice to look out for your little sister and make sure that you do what you can wether it be telling a teacher or helping your sister get away.  She doesn't care, and has made it clear yesterday.  I was on the verge of tears, I can't believe that she doesn't care enough about her little sister to help her in a time of need. 

It's not just that, at home she can't stand to be around her, she constantly puts her down and calls her fat, stupid, and annoying.  I've talked to my youngest and she knows she's not fat nor stupid, but she admits to being annoying, I think she does it on purpose because her sister is mean to her.  However, lately the oldest has been smacking her sister and trying to punish her on her own.  

Right now our living situation sucks and they have to share a bedroom, and I know it's not ideal, but they have to understand that I am doing the best that I can.  However I have noticed that even with family my oldest DD will go out of her way to avoid her little sister and play with the cousins who are the exact same age as her sister and be nice and loving and playful with them and when her sister come along she encourages the cousins to alienate her sister too.  I guess maybe I am sensative, but it's breaks my heart to have my oldest daughter treat her little sister that way.   I don't know what to do :'( 

kmrtigger
by on Nov. 25, 2012 at 12:32 AM

Have you tried role playing with the youngest daughter how to deal with the little boy that is picking on her? Help her find words to say so that he will leave her alone.

I know you want the oldest to help look out for her sister but that isn't looking like it's going to happen anytime soon.  So until she notices that her sister needs to be looked after, focus on giving the younger daughter the tools to be able to handle the mean kids on her own. Help her build up her self confidence.


And try talking to your oldest daughter and find out WHY she isn't willing to help her sister. Maybe there is a reason. Just talk to her, without, yelling or blaming her.

Quoting dreaming0616:

I don't know where to start, so I guess I will start here.  There are a couple of issues... 

I am at my wits end with my oldest DD.  She's a lot older than her little sister, over 6 years, and I understand that they don't play in the same social circles, however I have asked her on several occassions to help her sister out when she's being picked on.  My youngest is very small for her age and boys always seem to pick on her and push her around.  They both go to Daycare after school for only a couple hours a week, and I have asked that my oldest DD keep a close watch on her sister.  Well in the past couple days the same little boy has burried my daughters shoes in the sandbox, twice, ruining both pairs, threw her jacket over the blockwall fence, and yesterday the same little boy proceeded to throw muddied sand at her.  When I got there the teachers were trying to get the sand out of her and she was soaked from head to toe.  I asked her sister, "where were you when this happened" and she said that she wasn't paying attention to Caiti that it's not her job to take care of Cait.  I don't know how many times I have told her, that as a big sister it's nice to look out for your little sister and make sure that you do what you can wether it be telling a teacher or helping your sister get away.  She doesn't care, and has made it clear yesterday.  I was on the verge of tears, I can't believe that she doesn't care enough about her little sister to help her in a time of need. 

It's not just that, at home she can't stand to be around her, she constantly puts her down and calls her fat, stupid, and annoying.  I've talked to my youngest and she knows she's not fat nor stupid, but she admits to being annoying, I think she does it on purpose because her sister is mean to her.  However, lately the oldest has been smacking her sister and trying to punish her on her own.  

Right now our living situation sucks and they have to share a bedroom, and I know it's not ideal, but they have to understand that I am doing the best that I can.  However I have noticed that even with family my oldest DD will go out of her way to avoid her little sister and play with the cousins who are the exact same age as her sister and be nice and loving and playful with them and when her sister come along she encourages the cousins to alienate her sister too.  I guess maybe I am sensative, but it's breaks my heart to have my oldest daughter treat her little sister that way.   I don't know what to do :'( 


cmg128
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:10 AM

Hi, Kristin! My name is Carolyn, and I'm currently an intern for the website Miss. O & Friends.  I want to introduce you and readers who are moms to the website http://missoandfriends.com/ –> this website is geared toward tween girls to engulf themselves into a positive, cyber environment. The website is 100% safe COPPA compliant, KARU approved, common sense 5 out of 5 star rating, a POSITIVE place for girls, aiming to help young girls build self-esteem in a fun and positive way without being corny OR being bullied, safe socialization, and monitored. Most importantly, it’s by girls, for girls. Kids’ Counsel/Just from Juliette is a popular section on our website where advice is given to young girls. This website is viewed as a website that is positive, and for girls that aren’t quite ready for Facebook.

This website is a ton of fun and offers various contests, games, and areas for girls to talk to each other and post on.  It's a great way for girls to boost their self esteem.

I highly recommend you check it out, it’s pretty incredible.  Feel free to spread the word about this website.  For moms, we have Miss. O Moms, which can be reached through the Miss. O & Friends website.  It helps give mothers of tween girls advice, and gives them a common meeting ground to blog, post, and communicate.

Please check us out and spread the word, as we're trying to grow!

Thank you!

mjimaging
by on May. 1, 2013 at 8:12 AM
Lots of good resources here. I have to come back to this post.
Hottmomma607
by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:06 AM
Thanks a lot of good info in here!
TigerofMu
by on May. 2, 2013 at 9:57 AM

I love having all of these in one place!

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